Self-rightous behavior and Indignation
3970 postsposted 30th Jun
I want to touch on a subject this morning that I am sure will be a little controversial and many may not agree with my analogy but I feel we should open dialogue about it. This subject deals with the phenomenon known as self-righteous behavior and indignation.
We all know self-righteous people. (And, if we are honest, many of us will admit having wallowed in this state ourselves, either occasionally or in frequent rhythm.) It is a familiar and rather normal human condition, supported -- even promulgated -- by messages in mass media.
While there are many drawbacks, self-righteousness can also be heady, seductive, and even... well... addictive. Any truly honest person will admit that being self righteous feels good. There is sublime pleasure in knowing, with subjective certainty, that you are right and your opponents are deeply, despicably wrong.
Sanctimony, or a sense of righteous outrage, can feel so intense and delicious that many people actively seek to return to it, again and again. Moreover, this trait crosses all boundaries of ideology.
My take on this phenomenon is, "Self-righteous indignation is a convenient by-product of selective memory". The same applies to hypocrisy.
The self righteous believe that they are better and more moral than others, and often express their superiority in an annoying and offensive way.
Quite frequently self-righteous people are hypocrites--especially when they have narcissistic tendencies which often cloud what is for the common good of everyone else when they are only concerned with what they want for themselves.
They make statements such as:
“I wish some people would grow up.”
“Some people just don’t think.”
“Some people are so insensitive.”
“Some people are so opinionated.”
We’ve all thought and said these kinds of things at some point. We’ve all felt amazed at the behavior and thinking of “some people.”
Here is the problem: We all too often happen to fall into the “some people” category ourselves! Each of us at some point may act in ways that are immature, thoughtless, insensitive, opinionated, and every other flavor of frailty available to human beings.
Why is it when someone else runs a yellow light or pulls in front of us on the highway we get self righteous and indignant, but we when we run the yellow or cut in front of another car we don’t consider it to be such a crime?
Why is it that we can be so appalled by an organization’s behavior, a neighbor’s behavior, or even our spouse’s behavior where we can’t believe they could be so inappropriate and disrespectful? Are we all not guilty of the same disrespect at times ourselves? Of course we are if we honestly admit it. We are all guilty of the indecencies that we accuse others of perpetrating but in the moment of indignation that reality is completely lost on us.
When we are caught in our ego we look outside to find the problems, not inside. We see things wrong with everything but ourselves. We see life with absolutely no humility. Other people are hypocritical, other people are thoughtless, other people are insensitive but our behavior gets conveniently rationalized. It’s a perspective that comes from our egoic thinking and we all fall into it at times.
This does not mean that we should lie down and do nothing when others are thoughtless or hurtful, or that we don’t need to address someone else’s behavior if it was inappropriate. It simply means that when we start getting appalled and self righteous about their behavior we are getting lost in our own egos, and we are incapable of handling the situation with wisdom and grace at that moment. This is where bad will, broken relationships, and estrangement are born. This is where ugly controversies, partisanship, and community divisiveness is born.
If we find ourselves seeing others behavior with more humility, knowing that we are also capable of the same inadequacies, or if we find ourselves feeling a little doubtful or suspect about being so appalled, knowing that nothing of value can come from that feeling, we have begun to be part of the solution.
quoteWe all know self-righteous people. (And, if we are honest, many of us will admit having wallowed in this state ourselves, either occasionally or in frequent rhythm.) It is a familiar and rather normal human condition, supported -- even promulgated -- by messages in mass media.
While there are many drawbacks, self-righteousness can also be heady, seductive, and even... well... addictive. Any truly honest person will admit that being self righteous feels good. There is sublime pleasure in knowing, with subjective certainty, that you are right and your opponents are deeply, despicably wrong.
Sanctimony, or a sense of righteous outrage, can feel so intense and delicious that many people actively seek to return to it, again and again. Moreover, this trait crosses all boundaries of ideology.
My take on this phenomenon is, "Self-righteous indignation is a convenient by-product of selective memory". The same applies to hypocrisy.
The self righteous believe that they are better and more moral than others, and often express their superiority in an annoying and offensive way.
Quite frequently self-righteous people are hypocrites--especially when they have narcissistic tendencies which often cloud what is for the common good of everyone else when they are only concerned with what they want for themselves.
They make statements such as:
“I wish some people would grow up.”
“Some people just don’t think.”
“Some people are so insensitive.”
“Some people are so opinionated.”
We’ve all thought and said these kinds of things at some point. We’ve all felt amazed at the behavior and thinking of “some people.”
Here is the problem: We all too often happen to fall into the “some people” category ourselves! Each of us at some point may act in ways that are immature, thoughtless, insensitive, opinionated, and every other flavor of frailty available to human beings.
Why is it when someone else runs a yellow light or pulls in front of us on the highway we get self righteous and indignant, but we when we run the yellow or cut in front of another car we don’t consider it to be such a crime?
Why is it that we can be so appalled by an organization’s behavior, a neighbor’s behavior, or even our spouse’s behavior where we can’t believe they could be so inappropriate and disrespectful? Are we all not guilty of the same disrespect at times ourselves? Of course we are if we honestly admit it. We are all guilty of the indecencies that we accuse others of perpetrating but in the moment of indignation that reality is completely lost on us.
When we are caught in our ego we look outside to find the problems, not inside. We see things wrong with everything but ourselves. We see life with absolutely no humility. Other people are hypocritical, other people are thoughtless, other people are insensitive but our behavior gets conveniently rationalized. It’s a perspective that comes from our egoic thinking and we all fall into it at times.
This does not mean that we should lie down and do nothing when others are thoughtless or hurtful, or that we don’t need to address someone else’s behavior if it was inappropriate. It simply means that when we start getting appalled and self righteous about their behavior we are getting lost in our own egos, and we are incapable of handling the situation with wisdom and grace at that moment. This is where bad will, broken relationships, and estrangement are born. This is where ugly controversies, partisanship, and community divisiveness is born.
If we find ourselves seeing others behavior with more humility, knowing that we are also capable of the same inadequacies, or if we find ourselves feeling a little doubtful or suspect about being so appalled, knowing that nothing of value can come from that feeling, we have begun to be part of the solution.
I have 1 child & live in Monticello, Georgia
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