Dedicated to all 1st time Mommies

Congrats to all 1st time Mommies!!!!!!
Being pregnant generically translates to being an emotional wreck with multiple health issues including but not limited to digestive issues, eating disorders, body image and mental health disorders, sleep disorders, dermis issues and hair loss (or growth). You will find yourself hating the way you look, feel and perceive the world at large. You may resent your spouse, your friends, family and yourself. You may be scared witless at the realization that having a baby sounded like a great idea, until you were actually CARRYING it.
You will find that those annoying traits of your significant other are now grounds for separation (or beheading as the case may be) and that the way your mom babied you used to be sweet is now annoying and claustrophobic.
You clothes don’t fit, you look like a pizza faced 13 year old and your hair either falls out in clumps or looks gorgeous but you don’t have the energy to do anything with it.
Other pregnant girls look pretty, but you look fat and haggard. As in Merle.
You feel miserable and people keep telling you “It’s normal” and the whole while you are thinking “If being miserable is normal, why the hell did the human race not end eons ago? Why would someone do this again? Why did no one tell me about this?”
You worry about how expensive this kid is already. (“How much for a crib?!?! But I didn’t pay that for MY bed and its 3x that size!!!! You pay WHAT for something the kid is going to poop in?!?!”)
You don’t understand why everyone says the baby will be worth it. The kid is going to cry, poop, bleed you dry and take up all of your time from all accounts, how is THAT worth all of this misery?? You cannot understand why other moms smile knowledgeably and say “You’ll see” We’ll see what?? That I am not just going to be miserable now, but forever? That my body is ALWAYS going to be shot to hell now? That my personal life now consists of “Are you serious, no, not happening tonight and tomorrow does not look good either.” and it probably will advance to “You know, it might actually happen if YOU got up with the baby every now and then!” Your friends don’t and won’t want to spend time with you because elastic waistbands and spit-up are not considered cool on your elite group. You eat like a morbidly obese person and then promptly puke like a bulimic one. Your body cannot decide if it wants to poop or not so you go straight back and forth from explosive diarrhea to compacted constipation. And back again. And again. You misplace your toes so you are limited to wearing whatever shoes do not require you seeing them to put on and often do not match, which people are quick to point out. Amazing no one noticed before you left the house.
Your Dr pokes and prods you like your are a science experiment and then pronounces that you are doing great. What the hell does he know? Nurses explain your pain management options and delivery scenarios and are NOT helping ease your apprehension at all as they explain that HUGE needles get rammed into your back and you may need surgery to get this thing out!
Your skin stretches till you KNOW that when this thing DOES arrive you will look like the saggy, baggy elephant.
You hear horror stories about nether-region stitches and hemorrhoids. You thought only old people needed Preparation H! You hate cartoon movies and children shows and now see a future that has an over abundance of talking animals and princesses with happy endings.
I ask you this though. Have you ever seen something so beautiful it made your heart cry? Made your chest physically hurt because you could not express the joy that beauty gave you? Maybe it was a sunset, or a mountain view or the pictures from your wedding. Well, close your eyes and imagine that feeling. Got it? That’s what having a baby feels like. Every day. All of those aches and pains and issues and the sacrifices… They mean nothing next to that never-ending joy. Maybe it will take a few days, weeks or even months for you to realize just how in love with that squawking bundle of mini-you you really are, but when you do, you will belong to the group of mothers that nod knowledgeably when a new, hesitant and frightened mother-to-be is in your midst. You’ll see.

Quoting ~*Vicky Lynn*~:“ Congrats to all 1st time Mommies!!!!!! Being pregnant generically translates to being an emotional wreck ... [snip!] ... to the group of mothers that nod knowledgeably when a new, hesitant and frightened mother-to-be is in your midst. You’ll see.”

I really liked this. While I had an easy pregnancy and my labor/delivery was almost how I wanted it, you're right. It is all worth it.

I think your last sentence is absolutely comical.  

Quoting babygaga_mommy:“ I really liked this. While I had an easy pregnancy and my labor/delivery was almost how I wanted it, you're right. It is all worth it. I think your last sentence is absolutely comical.  ”

Thank you!!   It was actually by my BFF freakimg out over her pregnancy just recently LOL