Hubby's laid back parenting, pisses me off!!!!!(long)

Today my hubby went golfing with a friend and myself and two girls were to meet him at our friends house after for a barbeque.I knew he'd have a couple drinks which was fine cause he wasn't driving but he didn't seem too buzzed when we met there.My kids wanted to go in the hot tub with their dad and I said "It's up to him" and asked him if he could hold both of them safely in the hot tub.He of course gives me the (you are so anal retentive) look and says"Yes Trish relax" as he rolls his eyes.So the men were in the tub with the kids and my girlfriend and I were talking outside the tub.Next thing I look over and see my 4 year old's head go under water so I say"Barry grab her" he says"I'm watching her-okay" and I see her go under again so I scream "get her Dammit "and our friends hubby realises she is drowning, so he gets her head above water.I pull her out (all 43 lbs) and I am almost 7 months pregnant and she chokes up a gallon of water and screams and cries.I did swear at him and said"If you are too frigging drunk to make sure the friggin kids don't drown, then don't take them in the water asshole".Now my hubby is pissed at me and won't talk to me.I am so fucking mad I could scream, because he is always telling me to relax and I always say"If you'd be a little more aware of dangers then I would".I am sooooo pissed at him and want to cry every time I see my frightened 4 year olds face.Holy shit, I just can't get the image out of my head and I soooo want to punch him for not being contrite!!!!
Thanks for letting me vent- now I need a good cry!

You have every reason to be mad. My husband is laid back too, and it really infuriates me. I would have probably freaked out if I were you, and it would have been way worse. I don't know honestly what the hell they think about other than themselves!

Quoting mama3trish:“ Today my hubby went golfing with a friend and myself and two girls were to meet him at our friends house ... [snip!] ... out of my head and I soooo want to punch him for not being contrite!!!! Thanks for letting me vent- now I need a good cry!”

That's not laid back.

That's bordering on criminal.

i don't blame you for being mad at all. I would have been just as mad. Men never seem to get how thing can happen in a blink of an eye. I am same way about my boys I'm very protective.... I hope thing will get better. Hopefully he will realize that he was wrong and how bad that could have end up. Luckily for your little girl. Mom was there to rescue her.

Quoting mama3trish:“ Today my hubby went golfing with a friend and myself and two girls were to meet him at our friends house ... [snip!] ... out of my head and I soooo want to punch him for not being contrite!!!! Thanks for letting me vent- now I need a good cry!”

I don't blame you for being upset, I would be too in your position. I imagine that he is "angry" with you not because he feels you are wrong for yelling at him, but because he KNOWS you are RIGHT. It sounds like the behavior of someone who feels guilty about what he has done. I think it's common for dads to be the more relaxed one, and sometimes they seem to think that their kids are more capable than they are. And anytime alcohol is involved, it will blur a person's reaction time and awareness. When you both cool off a bit, maybe you should have a talk about drinking around the children and maybe also about whether you feel that one person can be responsible for both children in the water.

Quoting Satan:“ That's not laid back. That's bordering on criminal.”

  

I would have slapped the shit out of him. You just can't be that careless with your child's life.

Quoting Satan:“ That's not laid back. That's bordering on criminal.

Double post

oh my god my husband is a bit like that too... hes always saying "when ethan hurts him seflf its not a big deal..." like ok.. what am I spose to do when hes hit his head and is screaming.... and his answer is always "dont make a big deal out of it"

If my boyfriend would've done that with my daughter, I would've made sure she was safe and then I would've drowned his ass! Okay, that was a joke, but seriously, I would've been very upset if I was in your situation.

Quoting ~*Ashley Nichole*~:“ I don't blame you for being upset, I would be too in your position. I imagine that he is "angry" with ... [snip!] ... around the children and maybe also about whether you feel that one person can be responsible for both children in the water.”

I agree with you, he should feel guilty and probably in a couple days he will apoligize but what about something else the next time.Sometimes I wonder if all his pistons are firing.As for the alcohol, we do not drink around the kids and that is where I feel responsible because I would assume he'd have had at least 3 and I knew I should have said no-I just thought he could have said no if he wasn't feeling up to it.My 4 year old took a strip off him after as well I guess-you'd think a 34 year old would have more common sense!!!!

Quoting kaluvzmc:“ If my boyfriend would've done that with my daughter, I would've made sure she was safe and then I would've ... [snip!] ... then I would've drowned his ass! Okay, that was a joke, but seriously, I would've been very upset if I was in your situation.”

I think if my fat ass would have fit over the side I would have!Good thing age has mellowed me a bit cause 10 years ago I would have probably knocked his ass out!!!

Quoting mama3trish:“ I agree with you, he should feel guilty and probably in a couple days he will apoligize but what about ... [snip!] ... up to it.My 4 year old took a strip off him after as well I guess-you'd think a 34 year old would have more common sense!!!!”

Well, I don't think you should beat yourself up too terribly about it. Although it was very scary, your child is alright and next time you will make a different decision. If you learn from it, it wasn't in vain.