is this rude?

I had a very nice surprise shower thrown by my family.   There were a lot of guests and the people that mattered the most to me were there.

One thing bugs me....

I have a few friends that were not able to make it.  My sister actually never told why they declined.  I know it is a busy time of year, and I completely understand not everyone can come to these events... but wouldn't most people remember to call or email a friend after their shower to apologize for not being able to make it and wish them well?  One of them I expect to see in the next couple weeks, but I still would have thought I would get an email from her.  The other I am not surprised I didn't hear anything,, no shock there.  A third was in my wedding, and I am really disappointed...

The friends that I see regularly did make it and that meant a lot to me.

I am definitely a little hurt that a few friends did not bother to even send me a quick email... as of yet... it just feels a little insensitive to me.

has anyone experienced this?  I don't expect to the be the first thought on everyone's mind at all...but I would like to think I would call or at the least email a friend to let them know I felt badly i couldn't come and look forward to seeing them and the baby?

I can see where you're coming from. My cousin is having stomach problems and might not make it to my shower today, I talked to her earlier on Myspace and she told me. She said she'd def call and let me know though if she wasn't coming. If she just left me dry I'd be upset. Did they RSVP yes and then not show, or didn't respond at all to the invites? Maybe they didn't get an invite? Got lost in their mail or something? I wouldn't be too awful mad though until you know for sure why they didn't come. Maybe something important came up, but it still would have been nice to get a note you're right.

I understand why you are hurt, but unfortunately I'd be one of those people.I am terrible for RSVP ing and calling, or even keeping in touch.I keep my friends very close in my heart and am true blue when we are together or not, but obligations are often forgotten.Life is just tooo damn busy-I am curious to know if any of these friends that didn't show or e-mail have kids already.Don't take it too personally, just tell them how wonderful your shower was and you wished they'd have been able to come.

I had this same issue during my baby shower, a few people that I expected to show up simply didn't and most without any notice at all and I understand feeling that dissapointment and hurt because you feel they must not care for you as much as you thought. I actually was very hormonal during my pregnancy and actually cried at my shower because I was upset with the turnout, I look back at it now and laugh at myself for being so silly to cry like that but when your pregnant those hormones tend to take charge and can make things seem worst than they are, I'm sure there were reasons they didn't make it and a few brought gifts after the baby was born so don't fret too much over it.

If I miss a shower of a friend I definitly would call or email to apologize, last year my best friend in the world got married and wanted me in her wedding but I was pregnant at the time and declined but also ended up not going at all because I was on bed rest, I still intended to go but felt so bad that day that I didn't, I called her and sent her a message online and she was upset with me for a long time and it strained our friendship which made me feel horrible but she has since experienced pregnancy and had a tough time herself and we have discussed it since and she now said she was sorry for not being more understanding.

Just try to be understanding towards the ones who let you down and remember that you may be more sensitive than usual right now, and then when that baby arrives you will be so happy and wrapped up in your new bundle of joy all this will be a distant memory

Well I hardly had a shower. I wanted one and my hubby threw one.. only 2 people showed up (I don't know many people in GA yet) and the entire time he talked about work.

it sucked.

Quoting mama3trish:“ I understand why you are hurt, but unfortunately I'd be one of those people.I am terrible for RSVP ing ... [snip!] ... take it too personally, just tell them how wonderful your shower was and you wished they'd have been able to come.”

I'd have to disagree with you on the "life is just too busy".
No matter how busy life is, you should always find time for those you love. For me, my very best friends are included in the group of those I love. You are never to busy for a quick text message, e-mail or quick phone call...

;)

Well, I can't say I agree, personally. I just wouldn't care. But, that's just me.

C.

Quoting ~Terra~ Lipstick Mafia :}:“ I'd have to disagree with you on the "life is just too busy". No matter how busy life is, you should ... [snip!] ... are included in the group of those I love. You are never to busy for a quick text message, e-mail or quick phone call... ;)”

But that's my point, when you have kids, they are your first priority, along with spouse, then family, then friends(in my world).And understand some of us don't know how to e-mail, or text (okay I'm old and a loser) and chose to do things the old-fashioned way so unfortunately somepeople get neglected-it just isn't always personal.jmo

Quoting mama3trish:“ But that's my point, when you have kids, they are your first priority, along with spouse, then family, ... [snip!] ... loser) and chose to do things the old-fashioned way so unfortunately somepeople get neglected-it just isn't always personal.jmo”

I'm with you, and I don't have kids yet! I'm really busy, and I love my friends, but I'm completely flighty and scatterbrained. I miss things all the time and realise 2 weeks later that I haven't said sorry because I didn't realise that much time had passed. I'm the first to admit I can be a very thoughtless friend, but I try to make up for it when I actually have my head screwed on. Try not to take it personally. Just because friends can be rude doesn't mean they don't love you. We're not all picture perfect BFFs that people on TV seem to have  .

Quoting Doodle Kitten:“ I'm with you, and I don't have kids yet! I'm really busy, and I love my friends, but I'm completely flighty ... [snip!] ... friends can be rude doesn't mean they don't love you. We're not all picture perfect BFFs that people on TV seem to have  .”

Well said doodle.
I guess I should have worded my response a little different.
All of my "good" friends live at least 1-4 hours away from me. We ALL are very busy so it's nothing for me to go more than 2-3 weeks without talking to them.

be glad you had a shower and people came. i know it sucks when people you love stand you up. but really whats the difference? i didnt have a shower for my first pregnancy (hes 10 months now) and im not going to have 1 this pregnancy either and shes due sept 19th. be glad you have friends around you. im in germany bc my hubby is in the army, ALL of my family and friends are in the states. and my husband is gone to iraq. and im not complaining . just be glad that soon you will have that baby and the people who showed up or didnt to your shower dont mean anywhere as much as your baby does. good luck

Quoting Going thru our 1st Deploy:“ be glad you had a shower and people came. i know it sucks when people you love stand you up. but really ... [snip!] ... have that baby and the people who showed up or didnt to your shower dont mean anywhere as much as your baby does. good luck”

Did you not want a shower?

I have a friend who is stationed in Italy. We are having a shower for her here stateside. The only thing is, everyone is going to bring their gift unwrapped and we are going to wrap them and package them up and ship them to her. We are having the typical shower for her, just she wont be there. We also are going to video tape everything and send her a copy.

Quoting ~Terra~ Lipstick Mafia :}:“ Did you not want a shower? I have a friend who is stationed in Italy. We are having a shower for ... [snip!] ... the typical shower for her, just she wont be there. We also are going to video tape everything and send her a copy. ”

id love to have a baby shower. but everyone in my life is so spread. i do have people sending me some things though