re: i miss you.

i miss my grandmother, she passed away may 17th, she was the second most amazing person in the world, i lived with her for a year and i always took care of her. she had kidney failure, heart failure, diabetes, and so many other problems. she took ab oiut 7 different medications everyday. i always helped her. i did her insulin, i got her mail. i took out her garbage. she always called my fiance handsome every time he came over with me. she loved him too. the last thing she said to him was, "you make Casi so happy, never hurt her. shes a good person and i can tell she loves you very much. i cant wait till the day i see you two get married and have beautiful children." i found out i was pregnant with my daughter 2 months later. and found out my conception date was a week before her death. i wish i could of found out sooner. i was her only granddaughter and she loved me to death. she would of loved my daughter too. but i know shes always looking down on me and her. i know she was also protecting her before i found out. normally if someone went through what i went through just before ii found out, they would of lost their baby, or they would of been born with some kind of medical problem. but no, my daughter is the cutest and best baby in the world and the healthiest. i know my gram will always be with me. constantly through life, through the ups and downs. shell be there<3



this is my baby girl <3
2/7/12 <3

I miss my mother and my grandmother (my mothers side) also all my uncles that are gone on my mothers side....Uncle Ricky, Uncle Tommy, Uncle Kevin.....and the uncles I never met. Out of 9 children on my mothers side there is 3 left. Its been 18 years since my mother passed and 10 for my grandmother. there is always that hole in your heart where they are....i know that they are safe and not suffering anymore and spiritually I feel connected. Its coming up on mothers day and I am expecting a baby girl. I hope that I can be a mother like my mother was for me. I want to raise her knowing that they love her even though they are not here physically they are still here.....

I hope I can just forget Sunday is Mothers Day. Just pretend its just another day.
I miss you mom. It will be 5 years Sunday that we found out your tumor was back. I hate Mothers Day.

Quoting Patti.:" I hope I can just forget Sunday is Mothers Day. Just pretend its just another day. I miss you mom. It will be 5 years Sunday that we found out your tumor was back. I hate Mothers Day. "

*big hugs*

i miss my girls so badly lately...but i dont want to say anything.

it seems like veeryone has just...forgotten about them.

 

5 years ago today I said good bye to you mom. I miss you every day.

Quoting Patti.:" 5 years ago today I said good bye to you mom. I miss you every day. "

*hugs*

Quoting Tara - Anya's mommy:" *hugs*"

<3

Everything is so hard. I miss you Dad, so damn much.

Riley, its almost been 2 months and its been crazy. I still want to wake up and have you call me and tell me it was a crazy joke and you are not really gone but I know it wont happen. I love you and miss you. Your 19 years were too short.



Mom.. im having a really hard time right now. Dad has really disappointed me and I know you would be so mad at him. I just dont know what to do. No one really expects to lose a mother at 17 and then have to push a POS dad away at 26. I should have done it a long time ago and I dont know why I didnt.. other then its normal to hang on to the remaining parent. Im just down.. and emotional.. and crying.. and I miss you.

My brother passed away 6 years ago this Wednesday. We still don't know exactly what caused his death... they think Brain Anurism... He was my best friend. Every time that something big happens in my life I think, He should have been here for this! He promised he would be here for this... Right now I find myself crying for the first time in years, with the impending birth of my second child... She is due on the 21st and I can't help but to think he should be here to see her! He should know his nephew and be here to meet his niece. I don't know but I just can't seem to keep myself from crying... He was only 17 when he passed away... only 18 months older than me, we were so close in age and so close... I would literally tell him everything and I sometimes will take his picture off my wall and talk to it as if he were still here! I know that sounds crazy but sometimes it makes things easier for me to deal with.

Im crying my eyes out right now. I miss my mom so much. I cant help it. Im so sick and tired of seeing everyone with their wonderful lives, both their parents, happy familys.. Im just so sick of struggling. July is the hardest month for me. July will be 9 years. My dad has been smurffy to me for my entire life.. and I just feel so alone.. and beaten. Ive struggled since day one.. and I dont know if I can keep going.

I just dont know what to do.

Quoting Living-Dead Girl:

:hugs: It's been 3 yrs since my mom passed. I can relate. I'm sorry for your loss.  

Quoting Meg ♥:" :hugs: It's been 3 yrs since my mom passed. I can relate. I'm sorry for your loss.   "

Im so tired of feeling all this pain. I was 17 when my mom passed and its been so freakin hard on me. Every single year, about this time, I break down. No one can ever replace your mother.. and man.. I miss her so much .