Appropriate Punishments (Kind of Long)

OK, so I have a seven year old...he'll be 8 really soon. Lately, we've been having an issue with him throwing away food. Usually, it's just the normal throwing away veggies trying to bury them in the trash so my husband or I won't see. But now, he's doing something else...

He's a pretty independent kid. He likes to pick out his own clothes (which he's actually pretty good at) and make his own breakfast and lunch. He's even learning to use the microwave for certain things, like instant oatmeal. For lunch, he usually likes to have some sort of sandwich.

Well, today, he wanted to stay home with me (he usually goes to the boys and girls club) so I said fine. For lunch, he made himself a sandwich, peanut butter and jelly, which is his favorite. I don't know when he did it, but I asked him about it and he told me that he had made the sandwich, but "It was nasty, so I only ate half and threw the rest in the garbage." I was really angry about this. I don't think that was a good reason to just toss it in the trash. So I went down and checked the bread (even though I knew it was good) and everything just to be sure everything was ok, and it was. I looked in the trash and sure enough there was the sandwich, half eaten, and in otherwise perfect edible condition, except it was in the trash.

So after talking to him about not throwing away food, I sent him to his room. I called my husband at work and told him about it and he told me not to feed him anymore the rest of the day.

But I am wondering is that the appropriate punishment or is that too harsh? I don't ever want to step on what my husband says. We are always careful that we don't try to overrule what the other says when punishing our son. But as a mom, when my child is hungry, it's hard for me not to want to give him food. I don't think I can NOT feed my son when he gets hungry for dinner or a snack later on today.

What do you girls think?

haha us moms are different I feel the same way I couldnt not feed my daughter lol no matter how bad she was I bet I would cry if I had to

My son is 5 & I always have problems with him eating . I have started doing almost the same thing . If he says he wants a sandwich and doesnt eat it all I just leave it on the table & until he eats the rest of that he doesnt get anything else to eat . He has a problem with wanting what some one else has then finding out that he really doesnt like it ....


I wouldnt make him go all day with out something to eat , just no snack before or after dinner tonight ....

i think you should feed him ,only after he understands not to throw food out. Dont not feed him ALL DAY but make him wait till hes hungry enough to understand whats up. And talk to him more about why that aws wrong

I never have and never will feel that witholding food is an appropriate punishment. However when my daughter refuses to eat a meal she doesn't get a snack she has to wait until the next meal. I wouldn't give him a snack and if he asks tell him he has to wait until dinner and that if he's hungry then he should have finished his sandwich.

Quoting J&LsMommy:“ I never have and never will feel that witholding food is an appropriate punishment. However when my daughter ... [snip!] ... a snack and if he asks tell him he has to wait until dinner and that if he's hungry then he should have finished his sandwich.”

thats a good idea

Quoting Zack & Zari's Mommy:“ OK, so I have a seven year old...he'll be 8 really soon. Lately, we've been having an issue with him ... [snip!] ... food. I don't think I can NOT feed my son when he gets hungry for dinner or a snack later on today. What do you girls think?”

I dont have any kids (yet)
but ive learned alot from my aunt. since she has three.
i dont agree with ur husband, personally, i think
he should be able to eat, it is harsh not to let him
for the rest of the day!!!!!!!!!!
BUT MAKE SURE U LET HIM KNOW THAT
SINCE HE THROWS AWAY HIS OWN FOOD (THAT HE
MAKES HIMSELF) THAT UR GONNA START MAKING HIM
THE FOOD AND IT WILL BE HEALTHY AND JUST HOW U
WANT HIM TO EAT. TELL HIM UR DOING THAT BECAUSE HES THROWING AWAY EVERYTHING, SOME KIDS WISH THEY HAD EVEN THAT HALF OF SANDWHICH...MAKE HIS FOOD UNTIL HE LEARNS NOT TO THROW AWAY ANY. IT WAS A PRIVILEDGE TO LET HIM MAKE HIS OWN FOOD ANYWAY....

Quoting J&LsMommy:“ I never have and never will feel that witholding food is an appropriate punishment. However when my daughter ... [snip!] ... a snack and if he asks tell him he has to wait until dinner and that if he's hungry then he should have finished his sandwich.”

Yeah, he always does snacks bewteen lunch and dinner. Normally, when he goes to the boys and girls club or to school he doesn't get home until around 5:30 and we usually eat dinner around 7 or so. So he'll eat a fruit snack, or some chips, or a couple of cookies until dinner. Or I'll stop at the store on the way home and let him get something to snack on til dinner time.

I think my husband is way more sensitive about the subject only because of what he's been through in his life. There was a time when he was around our son's age that he and his family were homeless and going hungry was not an option. So that experience has taught him not to take anything for granted. I've never been through anything like that in my life, so it harder for me to understand and harder for me to follow through with not feeding my baby! I mean...he's damn near 8, he's no "baby" but he's still MY baby..you know?

My question to you is, did your parents ever send u to bed w/o dinner? If they did, obviously u survied and didnt die of hungry and learned a lesson.

Quoting Jennerbe:“ My question to you is, did your parents ever send u to bed w/o dinner? If they did, obviously u survied and didnt die of hungry and learned a lesson.”

No. My mom just made me sit at the dinner table until I finished my food.

See i was sent to bed w/o dinner often as punishment for misbehaving at the table or not wanting to eat. it worked for me. i learned to eat up and shut up

Quoting Zack & Zari's Mommy:“ Yeah, he always does snacks bewteen lunch and dinner. Normally, when he goes to the boys and girls ... [snip!] ... for me to follow through with not feeding my baby! I mean...he's damn near 8, he's no "baby" but he's still MY baby..you know?”

Yeah I understand the point he's trying to make I just feel that there are other more appropriate punishments rather then not feeding your child. I agree with a previous post of taking away his food making privilages and not giving him a choice in what he eats. Also if he refuses to eat all of it then save it and when he's hungry give it back to him. I mean it's not a huge crime but it still needs to be nipped in the butt. Also everytime he complaines make sure you explain to him exactly why you are making his food and why he doesn't get to choose for himself anymore.

Quoting Jennerbe:“ See i was sent to bed w/o dinner often as punishment for misbehaving at the table or not wanting to eat. it worked for me. i learned to eat up and shut up”

Being sent to bed from the dinner table is different then not being fed for half the day and then sent to bed.

maybe i came off wrong. I was comparing that punishment to what her husband said. No, going half a day w/o food and then being sent to bed is wrong. but not being aloud to eat anything else until dinner isnt. Sorry if my comment came out wrong

Quoting J&LsMommy:“ Yeah I understand the point he's trying to make I just feel that there are other more appropriate punishments ... [snip!] ... make sure you explain to him exactly why you are making his food and why he doesn't get to choose for himself anymore.”

Yeah...Because I know my son is going to be trying to snack on something before dinner time for sure.
Usually when he does the thing with the veggies, I usually fix him another serving of whatever he tossed in the trash and make him eat them, because he needs to have veggies. ButI don't want him always doing this either. So I just told him today that if he gets hungry, don't ask me for anything and not to go to the kitchen to fix anything or go to the snack drawer either. I'm going to make baked chicken and veggies for dinner and that will be the next thing he has to eat. He's not really happy about it, lol. But he's got to learn.

Thanks for the advice ladies! I knew I couldn't possibly be crazy! Not on this anyway.