question about a friend

Im sorry this is so long!


My fiance's best friend and his wife got pregnant after months and months of trying. They were so excited, but then she had a mc. I didnt know it happened until my fiances best friend called and hold him about it. He said that after teh mc he told his wife that he no longer wanted to try. She, being heartbroken twice, is very angry and i guess they arent on bad terms. Then he continues, saying that he isnt sure its gonna work between them. He wants a woman who is ok with him smoking pot and who is more adventurous- down to go camping on a whim....now my question is, am i wrong for wanting to beat the shit out of him? I mean, i feel they tried for so long and to act this way is selfish and immature. ANd being that my fiance and i always looked up to him its just so disgusting to me! what do u think?

I think she should get rid of him....

Quoting Daniellebeauvais:“ I think she should get rid of him....”

i agree. the sad thing is he was our friend first and then they got together and got married a year later. For a long time i didnt like her, but now we've become friends and what he is doing is EXTREMELY messed up. i mean, how do you ttc for 8 months and not think it thru? it would be one thing if they got pregnant out of nowhere, but to try for so long and THEN realize hes not ready is bologna

I think that he shouldnt be an ass
Especially after a miscarriage
And I also think that he should smoke weed when hes TRYING to have a baby
That is what caused my parents to have miscarriages...

Meant shuoldnt

Quoting _Skittles_:“ I think that he shouldnt be an ass Especially after a miscarriage And I also think that he should smoke weed when hes TRYING to have a baby That is what caused my parents to have miscarriages...”

i agree. And i think that he knew she was against him smoking BEFORE they got married. and HE PROPOSED TO HER. its just so immature and im so infuriated i dont even want to see him

Quoting Daniellebeauvais:“ I think she should get rid of him....”

I agree.

A lot of times relationships go wrong after a m/c because people can't handle the pain so they take it out in other ways.

Maybe that is his way of avoiding the pain again?

OMG I would want to smack him too. We TTC for a while and had a m/c too. I don't know what I would have done if my husband had not been so supportive. And this guy with his selfish thinking and immature behaviors. Oooooooo he is lucky she hasn't killed him yet... I'm sure his pot smoking isn't helping their fertility situation. I wouldn't even let my husband drink Mtn. Dew b/c the dr said it can effect the sperm count negatively.

Quoting KellieK:“ A lot of times relationships go wrong after a m/c because people can't handle the pain so they take it out in other ways. Maybe that is his way of avoiding the pain again?”

ive thought about that. But he and my fiance are really close, if there was anyone hed say that to itd be my fiance. He told my fiance that hes not ready, he wants to be able to smoke and do whatever he wants. He doesnt want the responsibility.
heres hoping that he is just being stupid and you are right

Quoting annaber:“ i agree. And i think that he knew she was against him smoking BEFORE they got married. and HE PROPOSED TO HER. its just so immature and im so infuriated i dont even want to see him”

That makes it worse then...
He knew what he was getting hisself into...
He shouldnt expect her to change if you want to marry them then you want to marry them for everything they are
Not just their good...

Quoting jill890:“ OMG I would want to smack him too. We TTC for a while and had a m/c too. I don't know what I would have ... [snip!] ... fertility situation. I wouldn't even let my husband drink Mtn. Dew b/c the dr said it can effect the sperm count negatively.”

the thing is, she doesnt know. if she knew he was smoking shed kill him. he is 23 and married, i think he should THINK before he DOES

This is a hard issue to deal with. On one hand, at least he is being honest and not leading her on about it not working. If I was in that case, I would rather know sooner than later and have to deal with a new baby, a divorce and the heartbreak all at once.

On the other hand, he shouldn't be such a prick and should have let her get over the heartbreak of the miscarriage instead of adding stress on top of things.

It is a torn situation in this case.

I wish her all the best!

Quoting annaber:“ the thing is, she doesnt know. if she knew he was smoking shed kill him. he is 23 and married, i think he should THINK before he DOES”

Also if hes hacing to hide it from her... thats a sign of being addicted...

I think he should have thought about all he wanted out of a woman before he asked her to marry him. When you get married it's because you love the person you're marrying for who they are, not what you want them to turn into.