Visitation during and after labor

Hi. I've just kinda freaked out a little. I'm 28 weeks and i hate both my FIL and MIL who are divorced. They make things difficult. I believe they will behave together but I'm getting the vibe that they want to be 'involved' while i'm in labor. My FIL is already asking what he needs to bring. Like I care! Like I plan to see him for more than 15 minutes! My hubby and I are on the same page that they can show up and say hi then out to the waiting room they go. Same with my parents. This is an experience for Q and I. After the baby is born, cleaned, and done being messed with they can come back and see her. But how do you arrange that?

I have to deal with my parents, his father and lover, his mother and husband, and a great grandmother, his. Is there protocol? And how do you say, ok, you can go now? I would like to be able to have some 'new family' time.

What are your plans? Past experiences?

Tell the nurses what you would like and they will pretty much take control over the situation. I wanted ppl out of the room but felt bad about asking them to leave and I mentioned it to one of the nurses and that was the end of it. She kicked everyone out and I didn't look like the bad guy.

I am going to call my inlaws after I have had time to bond with the baby and not a minute before. My mom will be there with me though.

I let my family come in during labor for like five minutes. My parents were there before I got my epidural (just by chance) and then my sisters showed up after....they weren't there too long. I wanted it to be just us two (my hubby and I) also.
Then they didn't come back in until after our baby was born. I just told them all beforehand that that is what we wanted.

just tell the nurse you dont want them in there, they'll take care of the dirty business of kickin them out  
Its absolutely youre right to decline their visits if it makes you uncomfortable.

You call all of the shots. All you have to do is tell your nurses that you don't want anyone back there for more than a specified amount of time and they take care of the rest. There usually is a limit on how many people can be back with you anyway, so it won't be as bad as it seems. Make sure you let your nurses know what you want from the get go, and they are great about making sure that everyone else sticks to it.

Quoting Brittanyjb:“ Tell the nurses what you would like and they will pretty much take control over the situation. I wanted ... [snip!] ... and I mentioned it to one of the nurses and that was the end of it. She kicked everyone out and I didn't look like the bad guy.”

yeah nurses can do it for you "for health reasons".

With my first one, my mom and baby's daddy were in the room. My FIL, and my grandmother were waiting right outside the door. They came in after everyone was all cleaned up. This time around, baby's daddy, and SIL are going to be in the room, and we are going to call people after she is born. I don't want a big audience, nor do i want people there immediately after she comes out.

you can tell the nurses what you want and they will inforce it. its all about you and your love.

with me, im having just my mom and Aaron in the room. when its time to have my baby, other then that, my family and friends can come in the room, up untill that point. and when its that point.. im going to ask them all to leave, if they dont i will have a nurse do it. im a very privet person, so my friends and family staring at me will make me on edge. I know they want to be there for support, but that many people, and i just cant do it.

ive decided that im taking my computer (with or without wireless who knows lol) as a way to keep me distracted and have the music i want to, (with ear phones naturally lol) if imma have a long labor, i need my computer lol.

Tell the nurses there, they will make sure that your wishes are met when it comes to visitors!
Some hospitals ask that you have a birth plan written out, you can also include that in there.... who and what times visitors are allowed!!!

Quoting Photocat:“ Hi. I've just kinda freaked out a little. I'm 28 weeks and i hate both my FIL and MIL who are divorced. ... [snip!] ... you say, ok, you can go now? I would like to be able to have some 'new family' time. What are your plans? Past experiences?”

This is a common situation. Just tell your nurses and they will take care of everthing! They are awesome and there to make things easier for you!

i am only having my mom in there since my husband wont be able to. I told my MIL and FIL that i would prefer that they not be in there because its a private time and they dont need to see me in all my glory. I also told my doctor that i preferred to have just one person in there. I would tell your doctor that you dont want them in there when you are in labor. and i would just ask them that. you need time by yourself with your SO. but i think the best way is tell your doctor. that way she/he can say only so and so allowed in. we will let you know when it is ok to come in. because i am just like you and dont want them in there. and they can wait in the waiting room just like everyone else. but im also not calling my family when im having her because i dont want her to be passed around and get sick or just be annoyed because they are there and im trying to feed her or something.

my nurse used the "health reasons" excuse for me   No one could argue them, they had to get out  

I have SOOOO been here. With #1, everyone esp in-laws, were all over me, bugging me & asking me how I felt. I hated it. It was like a revolving door & then they kept dragging DH off. he had to be found for the delivery. I told them with #2 that I would call AFTER the baby was born b/c I didn't want anyone bothering me. They were ticked! I told them all oh well. Of course, MIL came up while I was in labor, but I told the nurse no one was allowed to come in. She couldn't stand it, but they held firm. She had to wait until after we were in our room, cleaned all up & checked out. If you can do it, don't even call them until after the baby is born. That is my plan with #3. I liked being left alone to labor in peace. MIL was in the waiting room, STILL managing to annoy me, so she is getting called after #3 gets here. Let all the nursing staff know. they do it all the time.

I would say a couple hours or so after the baby is born that it is okay for them to come in, that way your rested a little bit and you can bond with the baby. but thats just me.