re: Visitation during and after labor

that would be the SO's job, in my opinion. discuss before hand what you want, and ask if he could help you with letting them know when it's time for them to leave. you will be busy with other things, lol.
i know what you mean though. i had a similar issue. my MIL showed up after about 12 hours and decided to bicker at corey while i was having a contraction. i was so proud of him when he told her now was not the time... she can be pretty scary.

im so nervous about my fil showing up. He always talks about what HE would do and what COULD happen. He told me not to drink gatorade cuz high fructose corn syrup can kill me. He said that Elvis talked about how THATS what was killing him. Not the pills or drinking...nonsense

Quoting Jenn Webster:“ I have SOOOO been here. With #1, everyone esp in-laws, were all over me, bugging me & asking me how ... [snip!] ... managing to annoy me, so she is getting called after #3 gets here. Let all the nursing staff know. they do it all the time.”

i know this is how my MIL is going to be she already ask me how i am feeling and all that. don't get me wrong i love her to death but..she is the kind that wants to take control over everything. So i haven't told her yet but there is going to be NO visitors allowed until we get in our room AFTER the birth. my DH and i want time bond with our child, that we have waited so long for.

I say if they took the time to call you and check on you and to see how you were feeling throughout your pregnancy then they should be able to be there to see their grandchild born. if not then screw em

Wow. Thanks for all your replies. I've been told the nurses at our hospital are excellent with crowd control and in the end my hubby and I have already talked about it. He is of the opinion that it is my show and I'm running it. He is the errand boy. His words!  So, they can come in for a few minutes when they get there and then off to the waiting room they go for the duration. My parents already know the drill but I don't worry about their feelings. They handle things better and less personally than my in-laws. Not to mention they get me better than my in-laws. My in-laws still expect me to change all my behaviors to match theirs.   Any way, after the birth and a little time to bond they can come in. We've decided my parents, the great grandmother (if she is there) then my MIL and FIL without new SO's. The SO's can come with the in-law they are attached to the next day or later in the day after we have had some rest time. Depending on when the babe is born. I already told my FIL yes we will call when we go into labor but 'have fun in the waiting room'.  

Quoting Photocat:“ Hi. I've just kinda freaked out a little. I'm 28 weeks and i hate both my FIL and MIL who are divorced. ... [snip!] ... you say, ok, you can go now? I would like to be able to have some 'new family' time. What are your plans? Past experiences?”

If you tell the nurses, they will put a note on your door explaining to go to the nurses station. If they are on the list they can go in, if not then they can't. I had a friend of mine walk in the room just as I started to push....I was like "ok... geez, just walk on in!" It made me think about it the next time around, lol!

Quoting Brook&OwensMama:“ I say if they took the time to call you and check on you and to see how you were feeling throughout your ... [snip!] ... were feeling throughout your pregnancy then they should be able to be there to see their grandchild born. if not then screw em”

Are you saying that even though they are miserable drama hogs and make me miserable when I'm around them they should have free access? No way in hell. But it isn't like i'm preventing them from seeing her. I just want to limit it to manageable time periods and when I'm comfortable with their being there. And it isn't like I'm treating them any differently from my own parents.

While I'm laboring I'll allow family & friends to come in for brief periods of time to say hello, but only if I'm feeling alright. When it's time to push I only want my BF & hospital staff in the room. I think it's important for us to have time alone with our daughter when she arrives to bond & be emotional without having to deal with other people. After she's cleaned & fed (if she's hungry, that is) we'll allow family & friends in to meet her.

<3

I don't know what the 'etiquette' is, however, I do not think it's the time to worry about stepping on anyone's toes. I didn't realize I had the right to keep my delivery room more private and had all the in-laws, including their young children walking in and out and chatting like it was family BBQ...I was miserable and I regret letting my room have an open door like that. Assert yourself the best you can, make sure you tell your husband to relay your wishes to his family and support them and also tell the nursing staff that you would like visitor restrictions.
Good luck with everything!

Quoting Cassie Joy:“ While I'm laboring I'll allow family & friends to come in for brief periods of time to say hello, ... [snip!] ... other people. After she's cleaned & fed (if she's hungry, that is) we'll allow family & friends in to meet her. <3”

Exactly my plan! Glad I'm not the only one. I wouldn't know anything about limitations if my bf hadn't done the same thing.