need some advice..

soo just to start off, im going to be living at home for the first year or so after the baby is born..and my mom was generous enough to offer this for me   but that being said means that my boyfriend will be staying at his own place then. he also lives with his mom who is very veryyy supportive of all of this.and being as the time is coming closer and closer..i have one thing that i keep having really bad feelings about..

i dont want to be selfish, but this is my baby. and it seems like all my boyfriends mom can talk about is..."we need to take turns with the baby" and "we need to get in the habit of sharing right away" umm im not going to say i disagree with this or anything BUT what she has in mind is..transporting a newborn baby back and forth and back and forth..IMO you just dont do that!!? is that wrong?? i mean my boyfriend is more than welcome to come stay with me and his child WHENEVER he wants but i get a really bad vibe that she thinks that this is a free for all and when she wantsthe baby at her houseshe gets it. and its almost scary to think about ...cause i thank GOD for how helpful she is but i really cant agree with this thought of moving MY baby back and forth. and i know its going to turn into a fight after he's here...my question mainly is what do i tell her? cause its going to upset my boyfriend in the process but i want my baby with ME until i feel comfortable with letting him stay there and even THEN i want to be there! i just want to have some things to say when this moment does arise, cause its not going to be pretty..and i dont want this to sound like i dont want the father or grandmother to have a relationship with this baby or something cause i do! but i want to be in control and i feel like im losing that and the he isnt even here yet..  any answers help!

its your child fuck her

Quoting JuLY 27Th**:“ soo just to start off, im going to be living at home for the first year or so after the baby is born..and ... [snip!] ... cause i do! but i want to be in control and i feel like im losing that and the he isnt even here yet..  any answers help!”

Will the grandma not let you stay at her house when she wants him over?

I have that problem, too.
my boyfriend's mom actually put a bed in the baby's room over there so I can stay with her and I thought that was really nice of her.
but my midwife told me that the baby shouldn't be away from their mother at all for the first three months.

Quoting *Aidans*Mommy*:“ Will the grandma not let you stay at her house when she wants him over?”

no she will..but i plan on having all of his main items here, and even though they will have majority of that stuff there i just hate the idea of making him have to transition between two different things of everythingso little!  

I would discuss it with her b4 the gets here. lets her know that you want to get in a stable routin with the baby b4 moving him back and forth. Tell your boyfriend b4 you talk to her too that way you two can agree on what to tell her. Tell her she can come to visit but its not her baby and your not just going to give him up. She will respect you for being upfront with her.

Well first off the first few weeks the baby shouldn't really be going anywhere and she should know that. After that if she wants to see the baby then you should go too. Don't feel obligated to send the baby off without you there, babies are dependent on you and need you there with them, Especially if you are going to breastfeed. I hate it when in laws act like kids"Okay my turn" wtf? Good luck.

Quoting JuLY 27Th**:“ no she will..but i plan on having all of his main items here, and even though they will have majority ... [snip!] ... that stuff there i just hate the idea of making him have to transition between two different things of everythingso little!  ”

Well I honestly wouldn't feel comfortable taking him back and forth all the time either. Especially in the beginning is not good for him. I agree with jenni just discuss all this with your bf first and get on the same page about things then have a talk with her.

The first thing you should do is dicuss this with your boyfriend. And remind him that it is not his Mom's baby but his, and that means that he has to help make decisions, not his mom. also make sure he knows that if and or when he does take the baby, it probably wont be over night, and If it's only a year, then he should be able to wait that long anywway, especially since it's how long they think it should be before the baby sleeps out. And that when he has the baby, he has the baby, not his Mom. If she is babysitting for you guys, that's a different story eniterly. then after you 2 have had this talk, and had it a second and third time, then you take it to his and your mom. The rules apply both ways. That also means your Mom isn't looking after the baby for you. And if the baby can't sleep out neither can you. I know it'll be difficult but if you want something you have to sacrifice something. However if you weren't so worried about it, then I wouldn't have said Boo. Since I'm not worried about my Mom, and she's the only one really who would be taking him anyway.

I have a similar problem. I feel my hubby's mom is constantly tryin to replace my mom in playing the grandma of the year role. I can understand that she is excited about the baby but she constantly bothers me on how im treatin my child in the womb. Complainin that i dont eat enough but i eat juss fine. Anyway, she keeps tryin to get me to move into her house so she can help me raise my baby. I personally dont like her that much and would rather stayin wit my mom but she acts like she doesnt hear me. She also seems to think im gonna travel my daughter back and forth, even the first 6 weeks. This woman drives me insane!

Quoting LuckyInNovember:“ I have a similar problem. I feel my hubby's mom is constantly tryin to replace my mom in playing the ... [snip!] ... me. She also seems to think im gonna travel my daughter back and forth, even the first 6 weeks. This woman drives me insane!”

thats the same problem for me! and i can tell my mom sees it which makes it worse agh