Im feeling super isolated and thought id see if anyone else out there had to spend a long time with their baby in hospital? plus im a sucker for polls lol

Did anyone or is anyone else dealing with long haul NICU time? by a long time i mean significantly over your due date? if so, how did you/do you cope?

Or did any term mommas have their baby in hospital for a long time during their first year? how did you deal with the environment and coping with not having baby to yourself in a 'normal' setting? tips for development & interaction, passing the time etc.....

Im through the preemie stage, my lil man would be 4 months old now so its not like im watching him in an isolate anymore. I guess back then it was easier in a way because he should have still been inside me, he couldnt take much stimulation/interaction and i knew i had to be patient and just let him grow stronger. But now hes older and bigger its like a whole new situation to deal with as his needs are so intense and i just crave the normality of home life.

Surely i cant be the only one?

I can't speak personally as for my child but my little sister was in the NICU for 3 months... she was born at 31 weeks and had heart murmers, had open heart surgery, and then intestinal surgery, and tubes in her ears twice... so she was off and on in the hospital for about 2 years but was in the NICU for around 3 months when she was first born. She also had hernia surgery that put her back in the hospital when she was 8 and she needs to have another surgery now to remove cysts on her ovaries at 13... but she is an active, happy a girl and honestly the strongest person I know.

I can remember everyday my dad picking my other sister and I up from school and driving all the way downtown... everyday we did our homework in the NICU waiting room and watched Alladin the animated series and Fresh Prince of Belair... I was kinda young so it didn't really hit me hard since I didn't understand it all at the time but I know it was hell for my mom having to go see her baby hooked up to all those wires everyday and day after day having to leave without her...

We were only NICU parents for 2 months. I'm so sorry what you have to go through twinmami.  

Have you visited the site I always post? There are lots of "professional" NICU mommies there. www.shareyourstory.org I know how isolated I felt with my first preemie and yet I can't even begin to imagine how hard it is for you!

The NICU is an awful place, but at the same time a wonderful place. When your baby is born early you expect that you will spend time there. My baby was 38 weeks, so I wasn't expecting any time in the hospital. However, she had plans of her own. She didn't have surfactant and blew a pneumothorax, well before it was over she blew several pnuemos.We were at Children's Hospital in St. Louis, it's the 6th ranked NICU in the nation so I knew that Bayleigh was in good hands. It does get so lonely there. Children's had a Ronald McDonald family room on the same floor as the NICU. It was great. It gaveme a chance to get away from the beeping monitors and theswish of the oxygen, while being close by in case anything happened.In the family room they had snacks,internet, TV and games.Thenover nightwe stayed at the Ronald McDonald house. It was 6 blocks away from the hospital, as apposed to the 60 miles I would have had to go. There we got to know several of the other parents in the NICU. There is a sort of bond formed by mothers and fathers of babies that have to fight to live. Having other people to talk to about what your baby is going through and what you are going through that truly understand is wonderful. I thank God everyday that I had a great outcome with Bayleigh. I know that other parents don't always have the same outcome so I cherish every moment I have with my girl. IKNOW I am a lucky mom. The worst part of being in the NICU was the guilt that I carried, because it was my fault she was there. When I found out I was pregnant I didn't want a baby. I cried for 2 months about it. I don't believe in abortion so that never came into play. I just knew that i couldn't handle another baby though. Then at 12 weeks I started to bleed and I thought I had lost her for sure. It was completeplacenta previa and my placenta was pulling away from my uterus. I had to go on bed rest and felt like the world's worse mom to my other kids. I wasn't sure this baby would be worth it. Then at 20 weeks I was allowed to come off of bed rest. The rest of my pregnancy went by just fine. I developed diabetes but that was manageable. So closer to delivery I started to worry again that I couldn't handle a 5th kid. Then she was born and I fell in love with her and prayed that God would forgive me for the feelings I had. Then she took a turn for the worse. I sat back and watched her struggle to breath, knowing the whole time that it was my fault because I didn't love her enough and didn't appreciate the gift that God had given me. If I hadn't acted the way I did, I feel that Bayleigh would have been fine. Now she is though. So everyday I have a sense of thankfulness and I pray and let God know just how much I love and appreciate all of my little gifts. I also show my children that too.

*sorry I didn't realize i had written a novel, but thank you for letting me get it out.*

Quoting twinmami:“ Im feeling super isolated and thought id see if anyone else out there had to spend a long time with their ... [snip!] ... to deal with as his needs are so intense and i just crave the normality of home life. Surely i cant be the only one?”

I had a friend that her baby was in NICU for two months before he lost his fight. I heard usually your baby has to stay until you would have been full term?

Quoting Rileyxo:“ I had a friend that her baby was in NICU for two months before he lost his fight. I heard usually your baby has to stay until you would have been full term?”

Yeh thats true, but we are way past full term though. He would be 4 months old now! I know alot of mommas in hosp with their babies until they reach term time, including the girls on here, and its a hell of journey and heartache for us all. But for us it didnt end there, it has never ended. Whereas its really common to be in until term and you support each other until then, its rare to be in for several months after and so isolating as there just isnt anyone to relate too.

Quoting CynthiaRenee:“ The NICU is an awful place, but at the same time a wonderful place. When your baby is born early you ... [snip!] ... I also show my children that too. *sorry I didn't realize i had written a novel, but thank you for letting me get it out.*”

Write all you want mama! im glad you could post here, thats why i made the post - because there are so few people in hospital with their baby past 37+ weeks and it really is tough.

I went through alot of guilt too, after stopping labour i was allowed home to gather myself and my hospital bag together and return for a c-section. But with them giving my son only a 50% chance of survival due to prematurity i was too scared, so i didnt go back to the hospital. I thought if i stayed home then it would give him time to develop and grow stronger for a better chance of survival. 3 weeks later i ended up rushed into hosp heavily dilated with pre-e and hellp. Those whole 3 weeks my son didnt develop at all. I thought i was doing my best for him but he was dying inside me, i almost killed him and il never forgive myself for it.  I feel so guilty, but i have to tell myself that those 3 weeks did help him somehow as he is 100% here today and not the 50% chance the doctors gave us.

Im so glad your princess made it home, with 5 kids im sure i would have felt the exact same way you did. I bet she is spoiled rotten and knows exactly how much you love her  

My daughter was only in the Nicu for two weeks. But our neighbors had thier twins 3 days after us (they were born 3/24-30 weeks along) and one of the babies is still there. The other is home, and they drive daily to see their other daughter, she is a hour away from here. Its the only Nicu for MILES! Its really sad, what parents of extended stay Nicu babies go through. Im so sorry.

My mother was in the NICU for 6months with me...they seriously thought I wouldn't make it

Quoting jacey*lyn:“ My daughter was only in the Nicu for two weeks. But our neighbors had thier twins 3 days after us (they ... [snip!] ... away from here. Its the only Nicu for MILES! Its really sad, what parents of extended stay Nicu babies go through. Im so sorry.”

Is there a Ronald McDonald house near the hospital where they are? If there is I would seriously consider staying there if i were them. They have everything they would have at home for the baby that's already there. They may have to bring a bassinet but it would save on gas and on theguilt ofleaving one child to drive an hour away.
A lot of people have heard of the Ronald McDonald house but don't really know what it is. They should def. look into it.

I just want to say i give much KUDOS to any one who has to keep there baby in the NICU for a long time. My son was only in there for 2 weeks and i thought i was going to die. It takes alot of hard work to keep going with sick babies. Plus i dont know about any of you but we had to drive to houston which is like an hour away.

Yeh i used to spend 3 hours a day on public transport, but since we moved its only 20 mins in a cab so thats much better  

Seeing about the babies born in March and still in makes me so sad, firstly for the parents, but also because mine were born4 months before that and we are still in hosp!!!!