Filling the gap? or Truely Wanting?
posted 16th Jun
ok so my boyfriend and i started to try to have a baby last december.. well, little did we know, we are very fertile, and found out i was pregnant in January. I lost my baby girlMay 28th.
Tony is saying he wanted to wait a year or two to try again (i want push him to try earlier but i will want to compromise)
Because i almost want to try WAY earlier, like... soon soon. Because i sent out on a mission, wanting a baby last december, well i still havent fullfilled that.
Am i just trying to fill the gap or what? i dont want people to think its a cry for help or whatever, i just want a baby! lol.
quoteposted 16th Jun
i got pregnant soon after my loss, if he dont want another baby yet dont try he might need more time to get his head around the loss.
I am truely sorry for you loss Amy.x.
quoteposted 16th Jun
i agree with amy
quoteposted 16th Jun
You will know when you are ready. You will be able to tell if you are trying to fill the gap or if you are really wanting. .......it is hard to explain, but you will know.
quoteposted 16th Jun
I really dont think youre trying to fill the void of losing the baby. You said in December, you were ready and trying to have a baby, and yes, you did conceive, but just because you lost that baby does not mean that you arent still ready for one. Sounds to me like maybe your boyfriend has just changed his mind about wanting a baby right now. Its easy to talk about having a baby, but maybe your actually being pregnant scared him off the idea for a while.
quoteposted 16th Jun
I would wait. I am sure that you truly do want a baby but you need to take time to heal emotionally. A pregnancy after a loss is hard and if you aren't emotionally ready it will be horrible.
quoteposted 17th Jun
hon, hopefully he is just still healing. I know you both went through alot and maybe he still just needs some more time to grieve over the lossrather than replacing it immediately.
I know it's a horrible example, but like getting a new dog to replace one that meant so much to you.
He probably just needs time to heal and then he'll be ready to wrap his head around the idea of another baby. Maybe he is just scared that ya'll would have to go through the pain again. I'm sure he doesn't want you to have to go through it again.
I think about you and check your profile often. I remember when everything happened and I still am sending you happy thoughts.
quoteposted 17th Jun
I agree with Jenell... And you need to be sure that your hubby is ready too, otherwise he may resent you or the situation because he is still dealing with his grief...
Take your time.. When you are both ready it will happen...
- Jess
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