when does it end

its been 5 months since my baby boy made his entrance into heaven and left me with empty arms, sometimes i feel like it was a dream that i only imagined being pregnant, only imagined feeling him kicking and growing in my belly and i feel lost sooooo lost i cant get over that pain my heart breaks every time i see a pregnant person, every time i see a baby and i am surrounded by them i am losing connections with hald of my friends and family over my grief because no one understands everyone is telling me to grow up and i just wanna scream how do you get over it when does the pain end. i hate 2008 this has been a year of hell, people come to my house and say kari why do you have a pic out of your dead baby is that wrong should i hide everything and pretend that my baby was never here i feel better having his things to look at. i hope 2009 will be better and thats still so far away. I am back with his dad and things are good my doctor said that i can get pregnant go ahead and he even put me on fertility pills and still nothing maybe hes not the one that i am suppossed to get pregnant by, but we are getting married at the end of the month and i love him so much. i got into a car accident last week a really bad one i should have been seriously hurt and when that semi hit me i thought i was gonna die and i thought would that be so bad, no it wouldnt then i could have my baby in my arms, i can not even get through this pain and i should be able to end it by now at least come to comfort with it and i feel that i am living a life like a robot when i was meant to be a mommy. 12 years of saying u cant be pregnant and then i wake up one day 4 months pregnant and in absolute shock and so happy happier then i have ever been in my life and then at my 6 1/2 months i had him early and lost him and then no one even gave me a good explanation on why my baby died and why it wasnt prevented and it could have been and now i am ttc and cant and i am going crazy doing everything the docs telling me for the first time ever in my life...everyone is telling me its because he is 51 and too old to have kids but i am 30 and scared that it will never happen for me ever...sorry for rambling but you guys help me through everything

I am so sorry you have had to go through all of this. I wish you the best of luck with ttc. You will be in my thoughts I really hope for the best for you

Hi Kari,
Let me first start by saying that my heart and my prayers go out to you. I am sorry for your loss and nobody knows that you are going through unless they have been in your shoes. I had a miscarriage almsot five years ago and it left me empty for a long time. I would go through depressed spirts when I seen other people with their kids and it was also horrible for my boyfriend who didn't handle it so well at first in the beginning which sent me through a whole bunch of different emotions.

I don't believe you should hide your pics because your baby was real! You can't just push him under the rug like he never exsisted. People need to realize that he was growing inside of you and that you are still his mommy even though God chose to take him early. I now believe everything does trully happen for a reason and that God has a plan for us all. I know that you may not want to hear that but trust me mama he is with you!

When will it go away....I still think of my baby and I was early in my pregnancy so I know that you are going through a way worrse time. You will never forge4t your baby or the pain of your loss and you shouln't try to but you should try and take some strength from this experience to use for your future. I wish you all the best and my prayers are trully with you. Feel fee to contact me anytime if you want to chat.

Its been less then 2 months since i lost my son. I feel everything you are feeling and they say its "normal". But i dont think there is anything "normal" about losing your child. I dont have any magic words and im sorry for that. All i can say is that i am soo very sorry for your loss, i will keep you in my prayers and if u ever need someone to talk to .... i am here.