Brother is a bully

As of just recently, my oldest has really been beating up on the baby (8 mos). Before this, sibling issues were never a problem. Until the past couple of weeks, my youngest will be trying to pull himself up and my oldest will purposely drop what he is doing to go knock him over. This morning, Cam, walked by and smacked the toy from the baby and threw it across the room. My fiance and I have tried everything, from talking to time outs. Nothing is working!

spank him.

We have done that... that was first thing my fiance did and he got up and did it again

Quoting Cameronsmommy:“ We have done that... that was first thing my fiance did and he got up and did it again”

awww,   Have you tried coming down to his eye level and telling him how much he is hurting his brother.? How old is he?

Question: any idea WHY he is doing this? Perhaps he wants something that the younger is getting somehow?

And he DEFINITLY needs consquences. Not sure what he's into, but things like no treats or tv? or something!

Quoting MissLissa♥:“ spank him.”

And then I would probably say something completly hypocritical like:"We don't hit!" But thats just me 

cam is 2 and a half. We have tried to talk to him ( trying to reason with a 2 and a half year old has its moments)

When we talked we would make him say sorry and that its mean, but he wont stop.

Its all recently, he is never done this before.

Quoting santas_elf_hb:“ Question: any idea WHY he is doing this? Perhaps he wants something that the younger is getting somehow? ... [snip!] ... somehow? And he DEFINITLY needs consquences. Not sure what he's into, but things like no treats or tv? or something!”

The only thing I can think of would be my mom has been taking the baby a few days a week for me so Cameron and I have some alone time. Then, I dont understand since my oldest get more time with mommy.

awww, I dunno then  

Once Logan (my youngest) became mobile, Dylan has been doing the same thing. I have come to the conclusion it's jealousy now that he's able to move and all. He loves his brother, but will just go and run past him and knock him over. We started putting Dylan in his room because of it. Nothing else worked. It has been getting better though.

Hmm you just have to be very stern with him. I know I'm not a mom yet lol But my little brother has a problem with stuff like that too. Just get down to his eye level and say "We don't hit" very sternly and sit him in time out. After he's done make him tell you why he had to go to time out and give him a hug. EVERY single time he does it. You just have to be very consistent and basically drop everything you're doing to make him realize it's NOT ok and "we" don't hit in ths house ever. Explain to him that he's a big brother and he's supposed to protect his younger siblings. Would he want to be bullied? Just have that same speech with him everytime he does it. I know it won't happen over night but consistency is the key.

I've heard of people using the "Bowl and Token" system. You buy a little fish bowl or something like that and a bunch of marbles or poker chips. Every time he does something good you put a marble in and he works towards a new toy or something. Everytime he does something wrong you make him take one out. Just an idea. I have seen it work because they definitely want that new toy lol.

Quoting Beth [due 12-1-08]:“ Hmm you just have to be very stern with him. I know I'm not a mom yet lol But my little brother has a ... [snip!] ... something wrong you make him take one out. Just an idea. I have seen it work because they definitely want that new toy lol.”

At my preschool we used a token system, ans for a child that young, I would start with an edible reward, We had laminated stickers and would start with a few, depending on how often he is pushing, I would reinforce him every time he dosent push, then space it out and could work towards a toy or activity as he gets the concept. It is more than likley a attention issue, so spanking and lots of punishment will most likley increase the behavior.

time outs work for Elliot. Any time he does something wrong and talking to him doesn't work, time out!!!!