2+ months now

its been a while since ive posted. for those who remember my story, i lost my twin boys at 5 months gestation due to a placental tear.
im just having a bad day. I would be 32 weeks now. and I miss my babies badly.I wish that i never had to say goodbye to them. I never got an option to keep their ashes, I have nothing of them. only memories. and i was so high when I delivered them that i dont reember half of it.
my friends dont understand, one of which is pregnant, she became pregnant after me, and now shess at the stage where i was before i lost them. I know shes happy, and im happy for her, but she keeps going on and on about baies, and it hurts me because mine are in a landfill somewhere (the hospital doesnt knw exactly what is done witht he ashes) \
thank you for listening, i just needed to vent. and i kno that this is the place for it. you ladies always understand, and bless you for that.

thats horrible(about what happened)! i cant imagine what your going through...im so sorry for your loss...

I'm so sorry babe. Just know that they're in a better place now, and they're your guardian angels! I'm sorry you had to go through that, you'd think that the hospital would know what they do with the ashes.  

You don't have any pictures or anything?

i do have pictures, and a memory box. but i feel so lost without knowing where exactly they are. the hospital only says that they are shipped out of state to a crematorium. the ashes thenn are unknown.

Im so sorry for your loss... 

I'm sorry you are having a rough day. HUGS