Snow White BFN and the 7 PMS Symptoms

Snow White BFN and the 7 PMS Symptoms

There once was a girl named Snow White BFN. She lived in a Kingdom not too far beyond the imagination called Barren. Snow White had a dream of becoming a mother. All her life she had this desire. She imagined what she would name her children and what they would look like. She was getting older and wasn’t sure how much time she had left to be able to fulfill her dream.

Snow White had a wicked step-mother who was the queen of Barren. Her name was False Positive. False Positive hated Snow White and wanted to kill all of her hopes and dreams. The queen would do anything to keep Snow White depressed and unhappy. False Positive did not let Snow White know of her hatred. She was always nice to Snow White but secretly hated her.

Each month the queen made Snow White track her temperature and her cervical fluids in an effort to make sure Snow White would not get pregnant.

Snow White was a very social girl. She liked people and she was usually very optimistic when talking to people about her hopes and dreams. Every so often you could tell that Snow White’s unfulfilled dream was wearing on her. She started to doubt whether her dream would ever come true. There were times when Snow White wondered if she was broken.

One day while in her the beginning of her cycle, Snow White was walking through the forest trying to keep busy and noticed a little cabin. There was noise coming from the cabin but she didn’t see anyone around, so she decided to go in.

When she opened the door she noticed 7 little symptoms that were involved in a number of activities but each of them was talking out loud.

Clearing her throat to get their attention, she said “Excuse me, I was walking by and noticed your house. I have walked quite a long ways and I was wondering if you could spare some tea.”

One little symptom, with a scowl on his face, said “Who are you and why should we give you tea?”

One of the other little symptoms said “Bitchy, you don’t have to be so rude.” He turned to Snow White and said with tears streaming down his face “I apologize for Bitchy’s rudeness. My name is emotional and I would be happy to get you some tea.”

The rest of the symptoms had stopped their tasks and had lined up to meet their guest.

One by one they greeted Snow White. There names were Bitchy, Emotional, Hungry, Achy, Bloated, Nauseous and Tired. In unison they said “We are the PMS Symptoms of Barrenhood, welcome to our home.”

Snow White said “Nice to meet you all. How come I haven’t seen your house before? Do you work for the Queen of Barren?”

Achy told Snow White that they did work for the queen but only the women of Barren recognized them. The men of Barren knew the symptoms very well but did not want to admit it.

The symptoms told Snow White about what they did for the queen and how they affect on the Kingdom of Barren.

The PMS symptoms told Snow White of a wonderful kingdom called Fertile, where the women were happy and healthy and the men were proud of what they had accomplished.

Bloated spoke up and told Snow White that each of them had cousins in the neighboring kingdom called Early Pregnancy Symptoms. He also said that the queen of Barren has a sister who was queen of Fertile and that she was very kind and loving and her name was Positive.

Hungry asked Snow White if she would like to stay and have something to eat with them but Snow White declined saying that she needed to get back to the palace before the False Positive wondered where she was.

Snow White was starting to understand that the Kingdom she thought was home was not the place she wanted to live in forever. Snow White thought that the queen was a good mother and that she wanted the best for her. Based on what the symptoms told her she realized that was not true.

Snow White decided this was her last chance to get out of Barren, so she decided to walk in the opposite direction of the castle. She walked for some time before she heard what sounded like horses hooves.

Snow White stopped where she was, looked behind her and saw the most beautiful man she had ever seen in her life. She was almost run over by the horse but the rider scooped her up onto the saddle and placed her on his lap at the very last second.

Snow White blinked in awe at the beautiful man and said in a very squeaky voice, “Thank you sir for saving my life. Now can you tell me who you are?”

The man looked into Snow White’s eyes and said “I am prince Virile, son of Positive, queen of Fertile. I have come to rescue you from Barren and take you to my castle.”

Snow White knew her hopes and dreams would be fulfilled in the loving arms of Prince Virile.

Prince Virile and Snow White lay together for 2 weeks. When Snow White’s next cycle came around she was living in the castle of Fertile with her Prince and finally got the double lines she had been searching for all of her life.

Snow White and Prince Virile lived happily ever after.
So this was just for fun, I hope it made you girls smile. I had quite a few laughs while I was writing it. I hope I didn't offend anyone.
Christina

haha that was really cute and creative!

Wow, what a wonderful story   Good writing! Thank you for amusing me  

Quoting BabyMakin:“ Wow, what a wonderful story   Good writing! Thank you for amusing me  ”

Thanks, I had fun writing it. It was just to make all of us smile.

Quoting LOOPY4971:“ Snow White BFN and the 7 PMS Symptoms There once was a girl named Snow White BFN. She lived in a Kingdom ... [snip!] ... fun, I hope it made you girls smile. I had quite a few laughs while I was writing it. I hope I didn't offend anyone. Christina”

Thanks for the bed time story!

Get it published.  

Quoting L♥vey:“ Thanks for the bed time story! Get it published.  ”

It only makes sense in a ttc environment.

So cute I loved it .

Awww, I really like it. It made me smile. 

that was amazing. i loved it.   woo.

Very cute.  
As I was reading it I was wondering if you had written it or found it somewhere.
You're very clever.

You are sooo creative Christina!

aww this is awesome! You rock chica! I might steal this from you if you don't mind (giving credit of course   )

Quoting LOOPY4971:“ Snow White BFN and the 7 PMS Symptoms There once was a girl named Snow White BFN. She lived in a Kingdom ... [snip!] ... fun, I hope it made you girls smile. I had quite a few laughs while I was writing it. I hope I didn't offend anyone. Christina”

Sounds very....familiar haha

LOL!!! That was great! Thanks for the morning giggle.  


Melissa

Lol! That was a great story, loved it!