Pregnancy after stillbirth nervousness

Hi everyone. I don't really have anyone to talk to this about, and just want to talk about it a little.

A little background for those of you who don't know my story: Last July 13th my daughter was stillborn at 35 weeks gestation. She had pinched her cord causing a blood clot in it. I had been in the hospital that Wed. and she was fine. Went to the doctor on Friday the 13th for a regular appointment and there was no heartbeat.  

Here is a few of my worries among the most obvious:
One is I'm worried about having excess fluid again. They think that is one of the reasons Aya's cord got pinched, because she had so much room to move. I had very excessive fluid and they never figured out why. I'm 21 weeks (tomorrow) and this is around the time that they started noticing the excess fluid last time.

There are times that I don't feel him for a little while and kinda get worried. I was on the way home this morning and started fretting a little. Then, as if Ian knew that I was worried, he kicked me really hard to let me know he was okay.   awww...

My other thing I've been thinking about is a baby shower. I really think that I want to wait until after the Ian is born to have a shower. I think I will buy him the nessesities and then after he's born have a shower/baby party for him! I just feel REALLY nervous about having one before hand, know what I mean? Is it really silly of me to think this?

Anyway...any one else having fears similar? Have any words of wisdom?

Thanks so much ladies! You are the best!  

I havent experienced what you have, but i hope for the best for you!
Good luck! You and your baby and in my thoughts!

Quoting AmandaLaura:“ I havent experienced what you have, but i hope for the best for you! Good luck! You and your baby and in my thoughts!”

Thank you! You're daughter is beautiful! Looking at the pictures I have a question. The bouncer/seat that she's in, in your 'about me' section, how does she like it? I was looking at it (or one very similar) today and considering it for Ian.

it'll be ok the chance of another stillbirth is very unlikely.
i'm here if you need to talk to me.
i had a MC at 6 wks and got preggo 3 months later.
i know it's not the same.
but i can try

I'm so sorry about your loss. I wish that I had some words of wisdom, but sadly I don't.
I just want to wish you the best of luck with your beautiful baby growing inside of you. You and your little guy will be in my thoughts.

it's competely normal to fear that it may happen again, even though the chances of that happening agin are very very unlikely.
I know I was worried while I was pregnant with my daughter, as I had lost my first child, a son, when I was tripped down the stairs, and well, I rarely walked the stairs while I was pregnant.. heh.

And it's fine to wait for the shower if that would make you feel better. It can be done before or after the baby, each it normal.  

If you ever want to talk, feel free to PM me, hon, and I'm sorry for your previous loss.

Quoting ~*Tasha*~:“ Thank you! You're daughter is beautiful! Looking at the pictures I have a question. The bouncer/seat ... [snip!] ... in your 'about me' section, how does she like it? I was looking at it (or one very similar) today and considering it for Ian.”

I gave her up for adoption but I saw her on monday. Her parents were telling me she loves it. When shes in it she doesnt cry and just coos. =D I saw videos of her in it... shes cute in it and loves it!

Quoting AmandaLaura:“ I gave her up for adoption but I saw her on monday. Her parents were telling me she loves it. When shes ... [snip!] ... me she loves it. When shes in it she doesnt cry and just coos. =D I saw videos of her in it... shes cute in it and loves it!”

Thanks! I just want to say that I think you are so strong for doing what you did. She is beautful though and I wish you the very best.  

Quoting ~*Tasha*~:“ Thanks! I just want to say that I think you are so strong for doing what you did. She is beautful though and I wish you the very best.  ”

You too!

Thanks everyone for the kind words!

Heather: How does your daughter like her bouncer? That was the other one i was looking at! lol

You are not crazy to feel this way. I am so sorry for your loss. I lost a son at 17 weeks and had to deliver him as well. I then had an ectopic pregnancy, and then a first trimester miscarriage, so I know what its like to be prenant and not feel safe until that little one is in your arms! However, like others have said, the chances of that happening again are very slim.
As for the baby shower, it sounds like a great idea. You should do whatever makes you feel comfortable.
Anyway, best of luck to you. I am sure everything will go great! If you ever need to talk to anyone, feel free to PM me!

Quoting AmandaLaura:“ You too!”

You are a very strong women for what you did! I was adopted from the hospital. My birth mom was only 14 when she had me never knew she was prego until she went into labor. My mom now worked in L&D and took me home from there. I could not have asked for a better life.

I had a stillborn at 35 weeks and got pregnant again. I was so scared of losing my other baby. I had an emotional roller coaster in the pregnancy.We didnt buy stuff until later in the pregnancy and when we did buy stuff we saved the receipts just in case. I now have a 6 mth old healthy boy. I am 8 weeks pregnant now and even though I had a healthy baby already, I am still very muchh afraid.

I'm so sorry for your loss. My third child passed when she was 1 day old and I got pregnant with my 4ththree months later. With my daughter that died I didn't buy much at all for her because I already had hand me downs from 2 babies but with my 4th I bought a lot for her ahead of time, it was like I was trying to convince myself that she was going to stay with us.

You are so used to having a baby that you don't get to "have", I think it would be perfectly fine to request that any showers be after the birth. Good luck, I'm sure everything will be fine this time!

I'm 31 weeks now and I lost my son April of last year at 39 weeks due to a "cord accident" -- I'm terrified constantly that something is going to go wrong again, I carry a fetal doppler with me just to calm my fears sometimes. I'm being induced in about 6.5 weeks and I'm so afraid that something will go wrong between now and then and I've sworn off buying anything for the baby because I'm afraid to jinx myself.We haven't even found out what we're having because I don't want to be too prepared and be disappointed again.

I'm doing the after baby party thing too.. we've decided to have a huge labor day barbecue/welcome home baby party. That will give everyone the chance to come and meet the baby and if they want to get something they need to do it after the baby is here.. I've told everyone to not give me anything for the baby until it's in my arms.