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Do what is best for your KIDS. Whatever that may be....

How often does he send them to school?

Is he sending them to school in raggedy clothes, or sending them back to your house in raggedy clothes when they left with nice things? If it's the latter, when they go visit, I'd send them in exactly what he sent them back with. I wouldn't send any new clothes or shoes over there. Maybe shop a thrift store for some decent play clothes or something, and send those. If it's the former, idk maybe get with the school and see if you can keep some changes of clothes there or something? I've never dealt with that situation, but I watched my mom deal with the keeping the nice clothes stuff and that's what she did

<blockquote><b>Quoting Honda450:</b>" So my ex thinks that sending my kids in clothes that don't fit and have wholes in them is acceptable. ... [snip!] ... a lawyer? I hate to start a huge fight but it hurts the kids. Others can be so cruel and their dad is just settin them up! Tia"</blockquote>




Does he keep them during the school week?

We do 50/50 so he sends them some weeks two days to school and others three. Which yes he sends them in crappy clothes to school and my place. We do try and send them IF they are going back to his place in the clothes he sent them in. Buy if they go to school I put them in clothes that fit. Idk I jut didn't know if I could really do anything. I want to be able to just talk sense into him. Because it is not good for the kids. But I dot want to come off mean or controlling. When I say it is small I mean the pants look like capris. The shoes are chewed up by their dogs and I can see their feet because their socks have holes too!

Quoting Honda450:" We do 50/50 so he sends them some weeks two days to school and others three. Which yes he sends them ... [snip!] ... the pants look like capris. The shoes are chewed up by their dogs and I can see their feet because their socks have holes too!"

Has the school expressed concern to you about it yet? I mean my son's teacher called me the day my son came to school in a pair of to short of pant simply because it was laundry day and it's not like i was gonna send him to school in his Pj's. What your ex is doing is wrong, and my only advice is to buy your son's clothes and keep them at your place and send them back in what your ex sent them to you in.

I honestly would document the outfits he sends them back to you in because that is not ok to do.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Mum to a Monster:</b>" Has the school expressed concern to you about it yet? I mean my son's teacher called me the day my son ... [snip!] ... your ex sent them to you in. I honestly would document the outfits he sends them back to you in because that is not ok to do."</blockquote>




Yeah their teachers asked so far every time at conferences. I have taken pictures and I keep a journal of everything. Right now I have so much stuff againsty ex that is way worse this has had to go on the back burner. But it still isn't ok. But I am stuck because he takes my niceness as weakness. Then if I text or email him his wife will call text or email me back threatening me. Which yes I keep evidence of that. But when they come to my house I immediately have them change in case we go out. I just needed advice on how to maybe get it fixed without a fight.

Quoting Honda450:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Mum to a Monster:</b>" Has the school expressed concern to ... [snip!] ... my house I immediately have them change in case we go out. I just needed advice on how to maybe get it fixed without a fight."

Unfortunately you will have to fight.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Honda450:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Mum to a Monster:</b>" Has the school expressed concern to ... [snip!] ... my house I immediately have them change in case we go out. I just needed advice on how to maybe get it fixed without a fight."</blockquote>

I would talk to your lawyer about it. Can you maybe talk to the teacher about keeping some clothes at the school so they can change when the get there? I wouldn't want my kids to be made fun of because their father is a dick.

gone........................

Quoting Honda450:" I have to make a plan. Because we have a ton to go to court about. My ex and his new wife thinks it is ... [snip!] ... his vesectomy and have more. But they always tell my kids that it is fine to stay home alone. But I try and explain the laws."

Holy Crap. That is effin ridiculous. Did CPS show up?

<blockquote><b>Quoting Mum to a Monster:</b>" Holy Crap. That is effin ridiculous. Did CPS show up?"</blockquote>




Yes they did. I don't know what came of it but I called a friend and found out my ex"s wife was fired from being an elementary school counselor. I am not trying to be mean but there is seriously something wrong with them both.

Quoting Honda450:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Mum to a Monster:</b>" Holy Crap. That is effin ridiculous. ... [snip!] ... from being an elementary school counselor. I am not trying to be mean but there is seriously something wrong with them both."

No, There is something wrong with them, especially if she is ok with all of what is happening. It is ridiculous.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Mum to a Monster:</b>" No, There is something wrong with them, especially if she is ok with all of what is happening. It is ridiculous. "</blockquote>




Whenever I call the police they say they have to catch them. I think it's bull. I was like be proactive not reactive. Because someone will end up seriously hurt or dead before you do anything. I hate it. I understand people call in with false crap a lot and things but really!? Just investigate it and talk to my kids! There is so much they do thy is wrong for punishments and things. But I just have to watch it all.