D&D: Women should hold at least one job before having a chil

posted 21st Mar

<blockquote>Quoting Pusherman:" Yeah. This is pretty much why I don't feel that bad for women who are in smurffy situations (broke) ... [snip!] ... who think that their life is and always will be perfect, that their DH makes enough money so they don't have to do smurf. "</blockquote>

I smurfing love you.sorry ladies its true.im glad i have a medical assisting background and im in school to be a medical billing and claims clerk.IN case my SO does the unthinkable.

quote smurfs?

I'm due September 11th, have 2 kids & 1 angel baby & live in California

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Mama❍

2329 posts

posted 21st Mar

well geez I don't really have it in me to tell other people what they SHOULD be doing. Having a job doesn't necessarily equate to being ready for parenting though. Hell jobs are just here to keep us all hopelessly enslaved anyways.

I have 3 kids & live in Ontario

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posted 21st Mar

I've never had a "real job," but I can easily support myself and family if it comes to survival mode. I've worked since I was 12, mostly in the horse industry but in various other things too. But I've never had a job wageslaving for a criminal corporation or the government, ie a "real job."

Now I'm running our horse hauling business from home, and employing several other people full time to boot. If for some reason DH were to lose his job, we'd be fine on this income alone. Worst comes to worst we could change our lifestyle and go back to how we lived when we were first starting out and one/both of us were in school.

Of course I'd take any work if it came to survival, but I sincerely doubt it will ever come to that, not while I'm still physically and mentally able to do other things. We have many layers of protection around our jobs and way of life, all of them would have to fail simultaneously to put us in the position of me having to take a wageslave job.

I'm due October 24th, have 6 kids & live in Ontario

speaktruth2powr

38492 posts

posted 21st Mar

Quoting Interrobang!?:" I've never had a "real job," but I can easily support myself and family if it comes to survival mode. ... [snip!] ... and way of life, all of them would have to fail simultaneously to put us in the position of me having to take a wageslave job."

You obviously have marketable skills, which is more what the people in this thread are talking about.

I'm due December 28th, have 1 child & live in Ontario

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posted 21st Mar

Quoting speaktruth2powr:" You obviously have marketable skills, which is more what the people in this thread are talking about."

I know. I'm a bit defensive about it. My mother constantly berates me about never "having a real job" and threads like this tend to touch a nerve.

I'm due October 24th, have 6 kids & live in Ontario

Amelia Margaret

9126 posts

posted 21st Mar

I think it's the responsible thing to do. But certainly not to be made a requirement.

I have 4 angel babies & live in Tallahassee, Florida

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posted 21st Mar

Quoting Interrobang!?:. But I've never had a job wageslaving for a criminal corporation or the government, ie a "real job."

I don't think those are the only "real" jobs---anything you can do to make money is a skill, etc. I just...I don't get when young women don't at least get a back up degree.

I just don't think being a hausfrau is that marketable-i wouldn't want it to be the only thing I'd done.

I have 3 kids & live in Los Angeles, California

posted 21st Mar

double post

I have 3 kids & live in Los Angeles, California

posted 21st Mar

<blockquote>Quoting Dr. Paradigm Shift:" I don't think those are the only "real" jobs---anything you can do to make money is a skill, etc. I ... [snip!] ... a back up degree. I just don't think being a hausfrau is that marketable-i wouldn't want it to be the only thing I'd done. "</blockquote>

I dont know. I have a degree but it's useless unless I want to teach. Originally I did, but my views of mainstream education have shifted and unless I got into a progressive/experimental school, I can't see myself teaching aside from homeschooling.

Like I said, I have no desire to work a conventional job. Better a "hausfrau" enriching my childrens' lives than working to make someone else rich.

I'm due October 24th, have 6 kids & live in Ontario

Back to Noob Status

12876 posts

posted 21st Mar

Lots of women on here will disagree, but I think it is short-sighted and dumb to purposely have a kid without a backup plan and education. More than half of all marriages end in divorce, people die, shirlt happens...it is always best to be prepared.

I live in Ohio

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posted 21st Mar

Quoting Interrobang!?:" <blockquote>Quoting Dr. Paradigm Shift:" I don't think those are the only "real" ... [snip!] ... no desire to work a conventional job. Better a "hausfrau" enriching my childrens' lives than working to make someone else rich."

I'm just saying, worst case scenario, you CAN teach. You're not going to be stuck with no skills and no hope, trying to get so much as a callback at McDonalds. You don't want to do a mainstream job, I get it. But you also haven't stuck yourself up Smurf Creek with a turd for a paddle in the case that things get incredibly hairy. Which is what I'm talking about, and I see it all the time on BG. Super young girls who may not earn so much as a G.E.D. popping out a ton of babies and relying on a man, doing absolutely nothing else, no outside interests, no social life, etc. Nothing about what I just described is healthy or a good idea.

quote smurfs?

I have 3 kids & live in Los Angeles, California

DisneyMommyTTC#3

6169 posts

posted 21st Mar

Yes I agree. I know all too well how life can toss smurf at you (lost my Husband in 2008 and was a sahm at the time of his passing, and although I did not need to return to work, all of my former employers in the area had offered me the chance to come back to work for them when they heard of his passing, I am thankful that the opportunity is there). Having a trade and some job skills, even if you plan on being a sahm, is important.

I also think you should have some life skills as well, know how to manage money, take care of banking and errands and bill-paying, manage and maintain a home and household, drive and maintain a car, be able to live and care for your family independantly if you had to, and have some skills if you do need to go and get a job.

quote smurfs?

I'm TTC since December '05, have 2 kids & live in Florida

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posted 21st Mar

<blockquote>Quoting Dr. Paradigm Shift:" I'm just saying, worst case scenario, you CAN teach. You're not going to be stuck with no skills and ... [snip!] ... nothing else, no outside interests, no social life, etc. Nothing about what I just described is healthy or a good idea. "</blockquote>

True enough. Though teaching would still be a last resort. I'd rather muck stalls, turn and sell manure, grow vegetables, do weekends bathing/braiding at horse shows, or do social media promotion. I've made equal or better money doing that in the past, than I would on a teacher's pay or a corporate job, after paying to have someone else take my kids all day.

I'm due October 24th, have 6 kids & live in Ontario

posted 22nd Mar

Quoting Interrobang!?:" <blockquote>Quoting Dr. Paradigm Shift:" I'm just saying, worst case scenario, ... [snip!] ... that in the past, than I would on a teacher's pay or a corporate job, after paying to have someone else take my kids all day."

I hear ya. I'd way rather do just about anything than teach or sit in a cubicle. Ummm....except maybe deal with horses. Ha ha. They scare me.

I have 3 kids & live in Los Angeles, California

posted 22nd Mar

<blockquote>Quoting Dr. Paradigm Shift:" I hear ya. I'd way rather do just about anything than teach or sit in a cubicle. Ummm....except maybe deal with horses. Ha ha. They scare me. "</blockquote>

Heh, it's cows you've gotta watch out for.

I'm due October 24th, have 6 kids & live in Ontario