re: Gender neutral, less at shower?

Quoting Not tellin:" You aren't looking in the right places. I found several gender neutral outfits when I was pregnant ... [snip!] ... clothes that are gender specific after baby is here. Plus, newborn stage is short lived. Then you can buy for 3months and up."

lol I've looked in any store in the area that sells baby stuff. It's not so much a color thing, it's more that they are obviously gender specific items. I have no issue putting my daughter in blue but when it says Daddy's Little Man or Mommy's Favorite Date or whatever across the front....yeah, that doesn't work. Or there's yellow...with ruffles. Or green...with sparkles and pink flowers. There is a VERY limited selection of absolutely gender specific items.

And, maybe I'm crazy, but even at home my newborn is almost always dressed in a full outfit. Only time in their life they can't object with what I want them to wear   kidding...kindof. After spending months and months waiting though, I am always very excited to see every outfit on the baby lol. My 2nd and 3rd children were in newborn clothes for awhile...my daughter wore preemie for 4 months, and had JUST progressed from newborn into 0-3 months for her first birthday. My youngest son wore preemie a few weeks, and was in newborn for a couple months. For some kids, it DOES happen (my oldest, however, was BORN too big for newborn, and went directly into 0-3 months lol)

my shower was gender neutral and i still got plenty of things, but not a lot of clothes

breast pump/ bottles, diapers/wipes, wash clothes/towels, diaper pail, bath tub, shampoo/soap, receiving blankets... all gender neutral, or can be at least. along with nursery bedding and furniture, carseat, stroller, swing, bouncer, pack n play, etc

we knew the gender of our baby but certain family members wanted to be surprised so most of our baby gear is green and brown. and i choose a gender neutral theme for the bedroom

Wow. You gals have been really informative. I appreciate it a lot! I am really down with not worrying about getting "stuff" per se, but a friend was just letting me know that there may be less clothing with a gender neutral shower. Even after the baby is born, however, I have asked for not frilly girl stuff, or super-boy stuff. I will not use it. Things that say Daddy's boy, or Grandma's girl, etc. are fine, just no princesses or sports stars, though I would put those on my daughter, too. Of course, when they are old enough, they will be allowed to wear literally whatever they want. I just don't want them to think boys are so different from girls, when no replicable psychological research that has been reviewed and published in academic journals show that there is a significant mental difference apart from rearing and parental and societal treatment and molding. Parents even talk to their bellies differently when they find out the sex. I believe gender is socially constructed and sex is biological. If they grow up to be super girly or manly, or whatever, that's their choice, but I want no part in pushing them one way or the other, I want the decisions to be genuinely their own.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Onyxessina:</b>" Wow. You gals have been really informative. I appreciate it a lot! I am really down with not worrying ... [snip!] ... that's their choice, but I want no part in pushing them one way or the other, I want the decisions to be genuinely their own."</blockquote>




Lol. Ok. You wait until you hold your little girl and go shopping with her. You will see a pretty little dress with a matching headband that you just have to put on her because it is so adorable. OR you are shopping with your little boy and see a little baseball uniform outfit that says "mommy's little slugger" with cute little matching baby sneakers.

Here is the thing, it doesn't matter what you put your baby in for clothes. If you look back to the late 1800's early 1900's baby boys wore the same things girls did. They wore sleep sacks that looked like dresses and they all wore bonnets. If how they were dressed really had that much impact on how they turned out later in life, we would have a society of feminine men. We would be watching powder puff tag football on Super Bowl Sunday.

We were all first time moms and read just about every book and study out there too. We all freaked over every whimper and squeak. Relax and enjoy it. Don't over think everything. You only have your first child one time. They are only babies for a short time. I wish I was less of a nervous nelly when I was pregnant with my twins and just relaxed a bit. I did with my son and it was so much nicer.

Thank you! I know that I may be over thinking, which I am good at. I just don't care if my boy is feminine, or my daughter turns out a butch lesbian. I am nervous that I want a boy so bad that I'll put HER in a MOmmy's little slugger shirt...ugh. My husband thinks that girls and boys should wear the same thing, even if the boy is in jeans and a pink shirt with a I <3 puppies logo. Its just the way we were raised, I guess. I have been tainted by JoAnn Fabric store though... I see the cutest patterns and find myself hoping for a girl, sometimes, so I can make the craziest costumes for her! I guess here I am, over thinking again. You are probably right... I guess we'll see!