Baby's Last Name...

Okay so me and my baby's father have been together for a year and a half now. I'm supposed to be getting induced today but I called l&d this morning and they had no available beds so I have to wait a bit. The thing is, my grandparents and my mom don't think that my baby should have her father's last name because he hasn't done much for her since he found out I was pregnant. When I was a little over a month pregnant he ended up getting sent to jail (petty stuff) and got out 4 months later. Ever since he has been trying to find a job and was just recently able to get hired. (About a month ago) It just took forever for all his paperwork to go through and he is just now starting work next week He could start now but he's gonna be with me in the hospital. Since neither of us have had a job throughout my pregnancy, my mom and grandparents have bought the baby everything. Her father had said that if I didn't give her his last last name then he would leave me. But my grandparents and mom would be very upset if I have her his last name. I dunno what to do, I love him very much and I love my family but I can't make everyone happy. Any advice?

Give LO your last name, you and the babes father are not married so tell him that you will change her last name or hyphenate it if you get married. Then you will also know if he is going to stick around long enough to marry you he is also worth your time. Telling you he is going to leave you over LO surname is stupid and petty. Families are forever and relationships are not necessarily.

I want her to have his last name tho but I don't want my family getting upset about it. I have cousins that have their father's last name and their mom and dad were never married. Being married really has nothing to do with a baby's last name.

If he says he will leave over a name... he probably wont stick around anyways. Give her your last name. It can always be changed to his later.

Changing a name either way would be an expensive process, and very time consuming. To a lot of people(men in particular) their last name is very important. Honestly, I can see why the father would say he would leave if the child doesn't have his last name. He might feel as if he's being pushed out of her life and isn't being acknowledged at all as her father. You would automatically be taking what rights he has away from him, and he would have to go to court in order to get his rights established, and you could be ordered to give the child his last name at that point anyway.

Quoting elle-marisha:" Give LO your last name, you and the babes father are not married so tell him that you will change her ... [snip!] ... you he is going to leave you over LO surname is stupid and petty. Families are forever and relationships are not necessarily."

This! I gave my first both our names. But weve been together for 8 years now so I ended up giving the rest just his name. I don't plan on taking his name when ever we get married either.

I'm not married and DD still has SO's last name, but I also knew, because he has kids from a previous relationship, that he would be a good dad regardless of what our relationship was. I also wanted DD to share a last name with her siblings.
If I was in your situation though, I probably would have given DD my last name. It sounds like your family will still be supporting both of you for a while, and if he would leave you ove that, he probably won't be around long either way

Quoting **Alexius's Mommy**:" I want her to have his last name tho but I don't want my family getting upset about it. I have cousins ... [snip!] ... father's last name and their mom and dad were never married. Being married really has nothing to do with a baby's last name. "

Not being married has NOTHING to do with it. My SO and I have 3 kids and 7 years together and they have his last name. If it were me I would give my baby his last name, he is trying to get a job and stuff it's not like he's doing nothing. Your family will get over it.

It sounds like BD may or may not be reliable. Time will tell.

Give the baby your last name. It will be easy to get the babies name changed to BD if everything works out and he proves himself but it's incredibly difficult to get it changed back to yours if he turns out to be a smurf.

Unless hes a real piece of work and you wouldnt want him in the babies life at all, i would give the baby HIS last name. even though its smurffy that he said hed leave you if he didnt, i can see how hed be upset by that cuz from the way you made it seem, he is trying to be a good dad. Youve already said you want to give the baby his last name, so do it. Its your baby. Your family will get over it.

Quoting PurpleBama582:" Changing a name either way would be an expensive process, and very time consuming. To a lot of people(men ... [snip!] ... court in order to get his rights established, and you could be ordered to give the child his last name at that point anyway. "

   

Quoting Aiden,Jared&Olivia's momm:"    "

That was an incredbily easy battle for me to win in the court. He filed, the judge said "Um no. it's not anyones RIGHT to change a childs name"

Quoting Smartass *Preggo!*:" That was an incredbily easy battle for me to win in the court. He filed, the judge said "Um no. it's not anyones RIGHT to change a childs name""

Then u got it good. I have friend who did it and it was a long drawn out process and it was money she didnt have

My husband and I weren't married when our daughter was born, but I gave her his last name, because I knew we'd get married eventually. Do you see this relationship lasting? If not, give the baby your last name

My bd and I aren't married I still gave her his last name so she could look up where she came from if things didn't go as planned. Do what your heart tells you. It's your baby don't let anyone tell you different. Good luck I was induced yesterday.