Quoting Angel Mommaa:" How does he deal with loss or something tragic happening? We lost our daughter at 15 weeks pregnant 6 ... [snip!] ... birth to her. He held her. I just dont get it. This isnt something you "get over". Anyone else have any experience in this?"
One of my best friends, my DH's Cousin, passed away two weeks ago. I know he's very sad about it, but he rarely cries about things, because physically he's somewhat unable to.
4 years ago he had part of his brain removed to prevent seizures (he's had epilepsy since he was very young due to brain damage from a very irresponsible babysitter). The brain surgery was successful, and he's been seizure-free for 4 years. He has no cognitive issues from the surgery, and is a hopeless romantic (so it's not like he's emotionless or anything, lol) but sad emotions are more difficult for him to convey physically, due to his brain surgery. Verbally, he will admit that he's sad, but he doesn't show
it in a physical way as often as I do, other than hugging me and telling me it will be ok, or stating that he's upset about it.
Sometimes, it's hard for men to convey the same emotions that we do. DH & I had a loss a while ago, which I don't talk about often because it's still difficult for me, but it hit both of us hard. It is still hard for both of us, but he doesn't cry about it anymore. He did for a while after it happened, but he began healing from it sooner than I did.
Everyone deals with grief in their own way. If you need more support, try telling him that you'd appreciate it if he'd be more understanding of your grief. Even if he's not showing that he's as upset about it as you are, he may still be grieving in his own way. It may be difficult for him to talk about it. Try not to take it as a lack of grief - rather a difference of grief, if that makes sense.
I'm so, so sorry for your loss and I am keeping you and your DH in my thoughts and prayers.