re: How does your SO deal?

I'm so sorry for your loss. Everyone grieves differently for different amounts of time. Maybe he is over the grief, maybe not but I'm sorry he's hurt your feelings. Maybe you should talk to him and let him know that you want to talk about her and you'd appreciate his support to listen, if he won't then thats possibly just how he is trying to cope with it, and I'm glad you've joined a support group!
Last year we lost 2 babies, at 16w and 17w.
The first at 16w he wasn't there and it didn't sink in to SO until I txt him to say I'd had him.
He didn't want to see him when he came to the hospital and didn't really show emotions until he held his urn for the first time. He didn't seem to grieve long then just got stuck into his work.
The 2nd at 17w he called all of his family straight away to tell them :/ and he cried a lot with me. I laboured all day on synto until I had him and we both held him, cried and said our goodbyes. He seemed to grieve more, or at least more openly, with the baby at 17w and I think that's because he was there so he was confronted and involved with it in person if that makes sense?
I'd be given a book on pregnancy and infant loss and it said in there that a lot of men don't feel as emotionally attached, didn't go through the physical side of the loss, cope differently to women or feel like they have to be the strong one to support their partner.

Thanks ladies. Your comments made a lot of sense to me. I'm going to talk to him about how it makes me feel. Just a calm, cool, discussion without blaming him. Hopefully he'll be able to open up to me.

Quoting Big D!:" Maybe he is over it? Losing a pregnancy is different for men than women. He didn't carry the baby and ... [snip!] ... same feelings you did? Even some mothers are like that. I wasn't really attached to my first until I was 8-9 months pregnant"

This! I am very sorry for your loss  

During my divorce our 3 miscarriages came up. I told him how cold and heartless he was to just dismiss it. 6, 12 and 18 weeks... And he never cried. Never said anything. It wasn't until then that he told me why. My normally open and caring husband was afraid to show his mourning because, in his eyes, it was MY loss. I was the one with morning sickness, swollen bellies, butterflies. I was the one who had to change everything i did. i was the one who heard the heartbeats... Then didn't hear them anymore. He knew he had lost a "dream" but I was the one letting go of a life. He didn't believe that anything he felt could compare to what I was going through, so he never showed anything. Never cried once, until that day. I cry now thinking about it. He cares honey. He's probably just afraid to show it.

When I miscarried in 2010 the first thing my ex said to me was, "Well it wasn't even a baby yet, it was just a bunch of cells." That hurt me and made me so angry. We broke up right away after I miscarried and got back together about 5 months later and for the longest time he refused to talk about the miscarriage. I grieved constantly and began hating him for not caring about the baby we lost. I said horrible things to him and just treated him like crap. One day I had a panick attack and started hyperventalating and thinking about suicide. I drove myself to the E.R. and called him to tell him what happened. He met me at the E.R. and he finally told the counselor what he hadn't told me all along. He told us the reason he didn't like to talk about the miscarriage is because as a man he feels like it's his job to fix things and he can't do anything to fix the fact that I had a miscarriage or the pain I was feeling. However the year after I miscarried he texted me Happy Mother's day and now we do talk about our loss openly. He has told me how everytime he sees little kids playing by the playground he thinks about what we could've had and what the baby we lost should be learning to do and how big she would be now. My rainbow baby is not his.

So what I am saying is he may not be able to talk about it openly right now but he may be able to later on down the road. He may say harsh things to you while hiding his true emotions. Sometimes men don't like to show their emotions because they think it makes them look weak and vulnerable.

My husband was the same way when I had Noah at 17 weeks. He held him and named him but after we left the hospital he barely talked about it. He still doesnt talk about it but atleast attends events and support events with me. Also I had him reach out to another father that has been down the road and that has helpped too. If you need anything or anyone to talk to let me know  

Thank you!