Potty Training 3.5 year old

We've tried it ALL. Rewards and praise and sticker charts and undies, etc. and he knows how to go and is proud when he does both #1 and #2 but then gets busy or distracted and doesn't mention it. We try our best not to shame him or pressure him and try to rely on positive reinforcement.

Tonight I just about lost my mind, he had TWO pull-up blow outs in one day. The second was so bad, we were all in the living room and my son was just playing in a toybox and my husband noticed poop smeared on the floor. Come to find out he had left a trail of poop throughout the room and got it all over the couch. It was a HUGE mess. I don't know what to do. I am 39 weeks pregnant, and in a month my husband is going to Basic Training for the Air Force. I can't even imagine having to steam clean my whole living room every time my toddler decides he is totally cool with pooping himself. I'm telling you, it was smeared all over his leg inside his pants and dried on, I have a cold so I didn't smell it, and our living room doesn't have great lighting so it took us a while to notice. Please, if anyone has any ideas, let me know. I'm at my wits end, it's both expensive and just plain gross.

Have you left him without underwear, and made him help clean up his own poop mess??
Messes stuck but this what the most successful method for my stubborn 3year old.

If she pooped or peeded herself she needed to help clean it up, if she pooped or peeped her pants or undies then she needed to help clean them up or them went in the trash. I was kind and loving about it and we always took are time.

Honestly, I find rewards/praise to be counter productive. It can put a lot of pressure on them and make them revert. Other than that he's going to do it when he's ready. If you think he's ready and he's showing signs of being ready then I would put him in underwear and no more diapers or pullups at all. Have you tried the naked approach while at home? If he has an accident I would say anything other than it was an accident and he'll get it in the potty next time.

I had to do negative reinforcement with DS when he was 3.5 and still not trained. He was like your DS, he COULD do it, he just WOULDN'T do it.

What we did is every time he peed/pooped in his undies/pull-up we gave him a choice of which toy he was going to lose (example: trains or cars. If he picked cars, then he lost ALL of his cars and then the nex time ALL of his trains). We told him his toys didn't want to be with him when he wasn't a big boy. Everything was kept in our closet until he was fully trained. Took about a week and he was down to only his lovey. He did NOT want to lose Harry (his lovey) and that was the kick he needed. He got the stomach bug a few days later and made it to the potty every time so he got all of his toys back

Quoting ¿ ¼ ¿:" Honestly, I find rewards/praise to be counter productive. It can put a lot of pressure on them and make ... [snip!] ... at home? If he has an accident I would say anything other than it was an accident and he'll get it in the potty next time."

I agree with this..

Quoting clay matthews:" I had to do negative reinforcement with DS when he was 3.5 and still not trained. He was like your DS, ... [snip!] ... the kick he needed. He got the stomach bug a few days later and made it to the potty every time so he got all of his toys back"

That sounds like a really awful and scary what for a toddler to be potty trained. If I was 3, I would be so scared of smurffing for the rest of my life..

<blockquote><b>Quoting Smokey_Taboo:</b>" That sounds like a really awful and scary what for a toddler to be potty trained. If I was 3, I would be so scared of smurffing for the rest of my life.."</blockquote>




Meh, it worked for us. He's 7 now and is not traumatized. It wasn't our 1st choice, we did praise/rewards first. But after 6 months of him peeing on the potty and the getting off and smurffing on the floors, we had to change tactics. It's not everyone's cup of tea and that's ok  

The problem with the undies or naked idea is that he doesn't mind being soiled. Remember the story from last night? He was sitting playing with poo smeared on him and was totally cool with it. If it had been up to him he would have just sat there and kept playing. We tried to explain very simply that it isn't healthy or safe to sit in our own potty.

We've also tried the "hands off" approach and totally dropped the subject, avoided talking potty-chair altogether after explaining to him simply that it was his responsibility to try to stay clean. Doesn't work. I wouldn't care that much if it weren't for the blow-outs. However, when he is literally having blow-outs regularly because he's just big enough now that his pull-ups don't contain his potty anymore, it drives me up the wall. In just the past 2 or 3 days he's gotten 3-4 pants covered in poo. It's not diarrhea, it's just normal poo that squishes out. TMI, I know.

My objective is to get him ready for preschool and to prevent blow-outs and unsanitary messes. It is really important that we figured something out. I'm so close to just sticking him back in diapers because they contain messes a little better and trying again in a couple months. With a new baby on the way, I'm going to have a lot on my plate.

Quoting Megan Keyser:" The problem with the undies or naked idea is that he doesn't mind being soiled. Remember the story from ... [snip!] ... messes a little better and trying again in a couple months. With a new baby on the way, I'm going to have a lot on my plate. "

You need to encourage him to help clean up his own messes. When he smurfs himself you need to encourage him to help wipe his butt, so he those massive blow outs put him in the tub give him the wipes and let him try, he will see how hard it is to clean poop off of everything. Have him help wash the pants. If he whines and wants to do something else be firm and tell him we need to clean you now and you need to help with this we can not move on to the next thing until we are done here so now we have to clean. Of course you are helping too but you need to have him start taking responability of his body.
And you I would pair this method with the undies or naked and if you are confident that he is close and ready to pting then it should work. But if he's not ready then he may revert, and in that case you just need to give him a little more time, i wish they made better pullups for bigger kids.