Autistic brother being abused??

I need to know if there is a way to find out if my mom put a life insurance policy on my brother.

I don't know why I never saw it before.

My mom takes care of my brother who has a form of autism. He is 23 yrs old and basically mentally the age of an 8-9 yr old. He doesn't know how to tie his shoes, very socially awkward, and my mom let him drop out of school back in *9th* grade, in his special classes. So he just never continued his education because my mom never made him.

He gets SSI.

I've noticed that he gets more and more weight almost every time I see him, he's about 5'8" and sitting at around 360lbs. She doesn't upkeep his shaving so he has a full on beard.

It seems like when the doctor tells her to not let my brother do something she always does the opposite. My brother was told to be put on a diet and no more red meat or soda. THAT night my mom made steaks with soda to drink. He is NOT a diet at all, and my mom buys him nothing but junk.

I also suspect that she is taking some of the pills prescribed to him and not giving him the right dosage, and possibly selling some of them. She suddenly has money every friday, the day after his appts, and she's always a bit out of it, so I think she might be taking some of his... and lately he seems to do nothing but sleep.

--> I need to know if she might be trying to slowly let him kill himself because there might be a life insurance policy on him and I want to know if I report abuse, would they even do anything?

Him having bad eating habits isn't going to do anything, him not taking the right amount of pills is just my word, and I have no proof my mom is selling them.

I'm pretty much acting on suspicion.

I need to know what I can do to help my brother. He's slow and when I try to ask him about my mom he gets defensive and mad at me for even suggesting anything.

You could call the doctor anonymously and mention your concerns, maybe?

Quoting Mayhem.:" You could call the doctor anonymously and mention your concerns, maybe? "

  
if he is on narcotics, they can drug test him to make sure he has the right amount in his system.

it sounds like she is overwhelmed.
I fought my mom for guardianship of my autistic and mildly retarded sister because she was regressing pretty badly. My mom had 25 years of her and just couldn't anymore. I got guardianship of her and then passed it to my dad.
They found an awesome home for her where she gets 24/7 attention and is super happy.

Here momma

http://www.cdss.ca.gov/agedblinddisabled/PG1298.htm

They'll open an investigation.

This made my heart hurt. Could you maybe give the police a tip? Couldn't they easily find out if she had life insurance on him? Definitely call the doctor too.

Quoting Vivian [38.6]:" it sounds like she is overwhelmed. I fought my mom for guardianship of my autistic and mildly retarded ... [snip!] ... of her and then passed it to my dad. They found an awesome home for her where she gets 24/7 attention and is super happy."

I get this, he is alot to handle, but slowly killing him isn't going to help anyone. He's a sweet guy.

But honestly my mom is the only one that can care for him. My dad wants nothing to do with him because he's slow and used to beat the smurf out of him when we were growing up. My sister is leaving to finish college at a state college, and I have 2 kids and a tiny house. My mom is the only one that can care of him because we could NEVER put him in a home, just imagine taking an 8 yr old little boy and throwing him into a place he doesn't know. That'd be my brother.

If all she is is just overwhelmed, I can deal with that, I can take him once a week to give her a break... but I feel like thats not going to stop her from overfeeding him and disobeying the doctor.

I told her the other day that when he has a heartattack and dies I will blame her. And she got mad.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Brink:</b>" Here momma http://www.cdss.ca.gov/agedblinddisabled/PG1298.htm They'll open an investigation."</blockquote>


This.

I'm so sorry Christi  

Quoting Brink:" Here momma http://www.cdss.ca.gov/agedblinddisabled/PG1298.htm They'll open an investigation."

Thank you! I didn't know they had something like this!

I heard of CPS obviously, but for disabled, that I did not know.

<blockquote><b>Quoting my job sucks-FrntDskClrk:</b>" I get this, he is alot to handle, but slowly killing him isn't going to help anyone. He's a sweet guy. ... [snip!] ... disobeying the doctor. I told her the other day that when he has a heartattack and dies I will blame her. And she got mad."</blockquote>




Has she filed for respite care?

Quoting Brink:" <blockquote><b>Quoting my job sucks-FrntDskClrk:</b>" I get this, he is alot to handle, ... [snip!] ... when he has a heartattack and dies I will blame her. And she got mad."</blockquote> Has she filed for respite care?"

I don't know what that is, but I don't think so.

<blockquote><b>Quoting my job sucks-FrntDskClrk:</b>" Thank you! I didn't know they had something like this! I heard of CPS obviously, but for disabled, that I did not know."</blockquote>




Your welcome.

A lot of people don't know. It's not really something that's advertised. There's a department for elder abuse too.

I hope this can get resolved quickly.

Quoting my job sucks-FrntDskClrk:" I get this, he is alot to handle, but slowly killing him isn't going to help anyone. He's a sweet guy. ... [snip!] ... disobeying the doctor. I told her the other day that when he has a heartattack and dies I will blame her. And she got mad."

I know exactly how you feel. My situation with my sister was very similar. I CANNOT take care of my sister, I do not have the patience or the skills. But I couldn't stand by and let her regress like that. My mom wasn't harming her, she was harming herself. But my sister who we have spent thousandsssssss of dollars on therapy for, was regressing. Do behaviors we took 5+ years to get her to stop  
Some people looked down on us because we put her in a home. But we weren't the best thing for her. We have lives that prevented us from giving her the attention she needed. Her SSI pays for the home, there are people there like her and she is happy. We get her every weekend. They tell us she is doing better, even got a job!
Maybe you should kindly talk to your mom about something like that? Research what's in your area. Or let them do an investigation on your mom.

Hey can you help me with this real quick.

http://www.dss.cahwnet.gov/cdssweb/entres/forms/English/SOC341.pdf

When I fill this form out, where in the hell do I send it? I can't find where this would go?

Quoting Vivian [38.6]:" I know exactly how you feel. My situation with my sister was very similar. I CANNOT take care of my ... [snip!] ... kindly talk to your mom about something like that? Research what's in your area. Or let them do an investigation on your mom."

That must have been so hard for you guys.
I literally can't imagine.