a Cry out for prayers/supoort/help?

Well, I was engaged to a man who was the most wonderful man that had ever walked the Earth, (we'll call him B) till i had to bail him out of jail for Heroin abuse...
Two months later we found out we are expecting. He was put on a drug kind of like Methadone and weened himself off Heroin, the withdrawls though made him mentally, physically and emotionally abusive and i couldnt take it anymore and i left him. I moved back in with my parents and got close to another man (we'll call him D) and we started to date about 2 months ago. Well turns out that he is a raging alcoholic.. (his fav activity is drivin drunk). I am without a job (who wants to hire a pregnant chick??) and i am just scared, plus i have had really a terrible pregnancy.

Just depressed and scared...

Drop the drunk. And focus on you and your baby. Things will come together. And it sounds like you need to take a dating break.

Quoting ♫ boobook ♫:" Drop the drunk. And focus on you and your baby. Things will come together. And it sounds like you need to take a dating break."

Agreed. Him being a drunk will be no good for your baby and drunk driving?
I hope you two wouldn't be in the car also, or something happens where he has your son.

I will pray that you find your self and your self worth, and that you figure out what makes you fall so quickly for men without knowing them well enough to know about their lethal addictions.

I will pray that you find the strength to be independent and really get to know yourself and establish yourself as a single mother and that one day you do find love and that you take it slow and never DEPEND on anyone. That you get to know the person and don't accept anything but a respectable man.

got the daddy hurt girls (i knoooow b.s. ) I understand but i grew up without a daddy, i want it differently for my son. I am just scared and feel really alone.

Quoting Sam Lamb:" got the daddy hurt girls (i knoooow b.s. ) I understand but i grew up without a daddy, i want it differently for my son. I am just scared and feel really alone."

A "daddy" isn't someone who spit out some sperm. A daddy is someone who loves your mother in front of them. A daddy is someone who supports mommy and baby emotionally, physically, financially, etc. A daddy is someone who would do anything to protect their family. A daddy is someone who teaches you how to love others, love your mother, and love yourself.

A daddy isn't just a stand in addict with a dick because you wished you had one.

<blockquote><b>Quoting ♫ boobook ♫:</b>" Drop the drunk. And focus on you and your baby. Things will come together. And it sounds like you need to take a dating break."</blockquote>




This!

Wow. Didnt expect that bottom part.. I am asking for support not for judgement.

Quoting ♫ boobook ♫:" Drop the drunk. And focus on you and your baby. Things will come together. And it sounds like you need to take a dating break."

Oh i agree completely and i believe it is time to just tell everybody who isnt part of the solution, to screw off. Just hard. Dont really have a solid support system

Quoting Sam Lamb:" Wow. Didnt expect that bottom part.. I am asking for support not for judgement."

You need to look inside yourself and start figuring out WHY you keep getting into these situations. You mentioned you want to stay with a drunk because you wished you had a daddy.

Is that the daddy you want your son to grow up emulating, idolizing, looking up to?

You call the first man the man of your dreams and BOOM he's in ail on heroine.

The next one is a wonderful man 2 months later and then BOOM alcohol and abuse.


You're not getting to know these people. It looks like you're going in 100mph looking for some kind of void to be filled and then getting sucked into these smurffy situations which are not going to just be taking YOU down now, but will be taking your son down with you.

So feeling judged or not, you need to start asking yourself WHY you keep getting into these situations.

Quoting Sam Lamb:" Oh i agree completely and i believe it is time to just tell everybody who isnt part of the solution, to screw off. Just hard. Dont really have a solid support system"

You as a mother, are a support system now. You cannot expect people to come in and help you fix the mistakes you make every time you make them. You have to admit that you made it, and bust your ass to get out of it, and then sit down and really learn everything you can from the situation. If you don't, you'll do it again, and it looks like you have done that a few times.

The first i had known for a YEAR before dating.. then got engaged a year after thaat,
The second was a high school buddy that i knew liked to have a cold brew on the weekends but didnt see the severity of it till recently

<blockquote><b>Quoting Sam Lamb:</b>" Oh i agree completely and i believe it is time to just tell everybody who isnt part of the solution, to screw off. Just hard. Dont really have a solid support system"</blockquote>


Well, it's up to YOU what kind of future you want to have. What kind of future you want you CHILD to have.

Would you rather figure out being a healthy single mother. Or a dependent woman with a drug addict- alcohol or other wise being the role model and spouse you have in your home? It is up to you and you alone what choice you make for you and your child's future.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Red Bottom:</b>" A "daddy" isn't someone who spit out some sperm. A daddy is someone who loves your mother in front ... [snip!] ... love your mother, and love yourself. A daddy isn't just a stand in addict with a dick because you wished you had one. "</blockquote>




I like everything you've said

Quoting Sam Lamb:" The first i had known for a YEAR before dating.. then got engaged a year after thaat, The second was ... [snip!] ... was a high school buddy that i knew liked to have a cold brew on the weekends but didnt see the severity of it till recently"

You have to start being more aware. You have to really get to know people before jumping into things with them. In 2 months you went from one addict to another. Not only is that an insanely fast rebound rate, but you're rebounding while pregnant, and they're both unhealthy partners. Instead of brushing off any blame, seriously ask yourself what you missed, what you could have done to be more aware, what you can do differently now....

If you don't, you're probably going to keep making the same mistakes.