Quoting Sam Lamb:" Wow. Didnt expect that bottom part.. I am asking for support not for judgement."
You need to look inside yourself and start figuring out WHY you keep getting into these situations. You mentioned you want to stay with a drunk because you wished you had a daddy.
Is that the daddy you want your son to grow up emulating, idolizing, looking up to?
You call the first man the man of your dreams and BOOM he's in ail on heroine.
The next one is a wonderful man 2 months later and then BOOM alcohol and abuse.
You're not getting to know these people. It looks like you're going in 100mph looking for some kind of void to be filled and then getting sucked into these smurffy situations which are not going to just be taking YOU down now, but will be taking your son down with you.
So feeling judged or not, you need to start asking yourself WHY you keep getting into these situations.