re: a Cry out for prayers/supoort/help?

Quoting Red Bottom:" You mean like how he proved to you he wasn't an addict for over a year? Why are you so eager to jump ... [snip!] ... Why are you so eager to jump back into trusting people who have given you every reason not to? You need to protect your child. "

Not saying i was jumping back to him, i have no plans to get back with him. I was asking about his rights..

Quoting Sam Lamb:" Not saying i was jumping back to him, i have no plans to get back with him. I was asking about his rights.."

You're jumping back into trusting him. You're with an addict now, and talking about how the old addict is coming back into town, and how you're open to letting him be in your son's life after he went to jail for heroine when you had no clue.

You REALLY need to get to know yourself, what's important, and what you and your child deserve.

Quoting Red Bottom:" You're nervous about him, but you're willing to let him take care of your child?"

Makes me nervous on what the courts would say, i feel like you've never dealt with an addict before.. They will do ANYTHING to get what they want, drugs or anything else, if they want it they fixate and will have it. I am nervous because his daddy has money, and he has no proof of the arrest/charges or even the drug problem

<blockquote><b>Quoting Sam Lamb:</b>" He got it completely wiped from his record, like went looking for it, no history of the arrest... nothing. makes me nervous?"</blockquote>

If it got so bad that he had to prove that he was clean to move back to the state then there is record of it. Maybe not that you can find, but a judge and a good lawyer will. Not to mention the fact that there should at the very least be record of him having to prove he was clean. And that should be enough to prove that he has a severe substance abuse problem, which should be enough to grant you sole custody.

i didnt say i was OPEN to anything! I was simply asking what his rights are so that i'd know what was going to be thrown at me when he gets down here.

Quoting Asher and Haddie's Mommy:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Sam Lamb:</b>" He got it completely wiped from his record, like ... [snip!] ... that should be enough to prove that he has a severe substance abuse problem, which should be enough to grant you sole custody."

Thats what i was hoping.. But as far as he says there is no record of it because he got it deffered?

Quoting Sam Lamb:" Makes me nervous on what the courts would say, i feel like you've never dealt with an addict before.. ... [snip!] ... and will have it. I am nervous because his daddy has money, and he has no proof of the arrest/charges or even the drug problem"

You shouldn't be quick to judge people because they don't agree with you.

I have made a LOT of mistakes and because of them, I have dedicated my life to knowing myself and only accepting the best for me a my son. so trust me, the smurf I have gone through and experienced and learned from, is probably more than most will ever have to even come close to.

Because of that, I am as strong and independent as I am, and even now, I have smurffy days. But trust me when I tell you that you really need to better yourself. You're at a turning point in your life and where you go with it will determine how your child grows up.

Quoting Sam Lamb:" i didnt say i was OPEN to anything! I was simply asking what his rights are so that i'd know what was going to be thrown at me when he gets down here."

And multiple people told you to go to court and file for sole custody, period.

He's the one who wet to jail for Heroine, not you. Money doesn't buy justice.

I had planned on it from the beginning...
I just was wondering what kind of things would try and get thrown back at me

Quoting Sam Lamb:" I had planned on it from the beginning... I just was wondering what kind of things would try and get thrown back at me"

That doesn't matter. That's a bunch of imaginary stress that you can't control and shouldn't worry about. You do what you KNOW is best for your child and don't worry about what whoever might do.

Quoting Safka9973:" And what Red Bottom is saying is truly the best advice you can get. Don't read into as judgement. Find a way to fix your situation by assessing the changes you can make."

  
THIS!
She means no harm honestly. Sometimes the truth hurts but it is very good advice and I agree 100%!

Quoting ♫ boobook ♫:" Drop the drunk. And focus on you and your baby. Things will come together. And it sounds like you need to take a dating break."

this   

Yes, take some time off from these men!! ( I'm like that in a way too), maybe move back in with your parents and they can help you until you have the baby and can find work. I did this when I was pregnant with my first son and went to school and worked at call services places for some cash.