Built up SO vent....long

Every Wednesday night we have a "family dinner" at SO parents house with his family. Well this past Wednesday I had a really bad day with LO. He would only sleep for no longer then 10mins at a time, and I couldn't get anything done.
I had been hanging to have a shower all day, but couldnt even while LO cat napped as I have my 3yr old home as well.
SO gets home from work at 3pm. As soon as he got home he jumped straight in the shower. (Fair enough coz he's been at work all day, but I hate the fact that he can just do things without having to worry about anyone else).
I asked him if he could wait half hour as I had to collect DD from school. He said he couldn't and jump right in. So I was late picking her up from school.
Fast forward to 6:30 at his parents house.
Im sitting on the couch trying to get LO to sleep, so I could eat dinner in peace. After 10mins his mum says dinner is ready. Everyone goes to the dinner table....even SO. He knew I had had a bad day, hadn't had anything to eat and was just wanting a break for 5mins. Anyway, half hour later I finally get LO in a deep enough sleep that I can put him down. Everyone had finished dinner and was off talking or doing their own thing. I get to the table to finally have something to eat, and there's nothing there! Every dish completely empty. SO didn't even bother to dish something out onto a plate for me.
So we leave and head home.....my stomach starting to eat itself.

Thursday....
I had been having a pretty good day. LO let me sleep in til 6:30am, and has been sleeping pretty awesomely all day.
I had finally got to the bottom of my dirty laundry basket, DS1 and I cleaned the toy room and I actually had a plan for dinner  
SO got home from work at 3pm. Walks through the door, gives me a kiss, then tells me hes having a shower and going to have a sleep. Umm once again, I have to pick up DD from school. I wasn't going to wait for him to shower and risk being late. So I told him he would have to wait until I got back home, as I was leaving the boys at home.
I get home at like 3:40. Walk in the door, LO is crying in his swing and DS1 is rading the fridge. I ask DS1 where daddy is, and he tells me hes in the shower. Like seriously now!?! I had literally been out of the house for 20mins, and he couldnt wait?
Anyways after his shower, he can tell im angry and he goes to bed. So im left to deal with the 3 kids while I try and cook this awesome meal I had planned out.
After sleeping great all day, LO now decides its time to play up. My 3yr old is screaming at me for a bath. And my 8yr old is whinging and bitching at me coz I wont let her roam the streets with some girl she just met out the front.
While dealing with all this commotion, I manage to burn my dinner. Smoke alarms are going crazy!!
SO comes thumping down stairs mumbling/groaning.
Next minute theres thumping at the front door. Thinking its DD finding something new to bitch at me, I fling the door open and scream "WHAT NOW"
To my surprise theres 2 firemen at the door. Apparently one of my neighbour's saw all the smoke coming out my kitchen window, with the sound of fire alarms blaring, and called the fire brigade.
Talk about embarrassing.

Urgh theres so much more that went on with SO after dinner, but I figured this is long enough and I dont want to bore you to death.

End vent-

Sorry for any typos, im on my phone

Sorry you're going through this. I hate that some men consider that they have a job tht when they get home it's "me" time. Your job is 24/7 and a lot more demanding. T least he gets a lunch break and can go to the toilet on his own.

My ex was exactly the same before I left him.

I'd be telling him he needed to help out more. DH works a 9 hour a day job lifting, installing & packing 50-150lb batteries all day so he comes home tired but he still helps me with our son. That is not a 50/50 relationship & you are having to deal with 3 kids on your own. Not even close to fair or balanced

<blockquote><b>Quoting Onalee's Mummy:</b>" Sorry you're going through this. I hate that some men consider that they have a job tht when they get ... [snip!] ... demanding. T least he gets a lunch break and can go to the toilet on his own. My ex was exactly the same before I left him."</blockquote>


It drives me crazy. Yes he works and I DO appreciate him for it. But when he gets home, he needs to be a father. I get up an hour after he leaves, and go to bed 4 hours after him and my days are none stop. DD has a disco tomorrow night at school, and tonight he tells me that he is going out with his mates for the night....so now DD cant go.

<blockquote><b>Quoting J&T+3:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Onalee's Mummy:</b>" Sorry you're going through this. I hate ... [snip!] ... disco tomorrow night at school, and tonight he tells me that he is going out with his mates for the night....so now DD cant go."</blockquote>




That is totally not ok. If its not a special event (bucks, 30th etc) then family comes first. Always.

He should appreciate what you do more.

<blockquote><b>Quoting ~The Lunar Flower~:</b>" I'd be telling him he needed to help out more. DH works a 9 hour a day job lifting, installing & packing ... [snip!] ... our son. That is not a 50/50 relationship & you are having to deal with 3 kids on your own. Not even close to fair or balanced"</blockquote>

Trust me iv tried numerous times, but he just doesnt get it. Hes selfish and he knows it.
I even made plans a month ago to go out with a girlfriend of mine for avfew drinks on Saturday night. (My first night out in 10 months) He knew about this, but still makes plans to go out tomorrow night. So now I can't go out, coz we dont have the money to do both.

<blockquote><b>Quoting J&T+3:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Onalee's Mummy:</b>" Sorry you're going through this. I hate ... [snip!] ... disco tomorrow night at school, and tonight he tells me that he is going out with his mates for the night....so now DD cant go."</blockquote>

I'd raise hell. How dare he ruin a dance for your daughter! That is ridiculous. I'd be tempted to call his friends & cancel

<blockquote><b>Quoting Onalee's Mummy:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting J&T+3:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Onalee's Mummy:</b>" ... [snip!] ... not ok. If its not a special event (bucks, 30th etc) then family comes first. Always. He should appreciate what you do more."</blockquote>


Totally!!!

He says he does, but he honestly doesnt show it.
I mean hes great when he has days off....most of the time. But its just, so, argh. I smurfing hate his job.

Quoting J&T+3:" Every Wednesday night we have a "family dinner" at SO parents house with his family. Well this past Wednesday ... [snip!] ... much more that went on with SO after dinner, but I figured this is long enough and I dont want to bore you to death. End vent-"

that sounds like my day, everyday, except i have no SO to watch the kids while i get my other ones from school, so i have to take them all regardless. and then i have noone to bitch at when things dont go as i plan, so i drink wine instead... lol

<blockquote><b>Quoting ~The Lunar Flower~:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting J&T+3:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Onalee's Mummy:</b>" ... [snip!] ... I'd raise hell. How dare he ruin a dance for your daughter! That is ridiculous. I'd be tempted to call his friends & cancel"</blockquote>


Oh I was furious!!!

She has just started at this school, and is still making new friends, so, to me, its important that she goes.
Im going to speak to the mother of a friend that she has made tomorrow, and see if there is anyway she could pick her up for me. Id be able to take her to the disco, but just not be able to pick her up. So maybe I could pick her friend up and take them, and her friends mother can drop her home.

<blockquote><b>Quoting J&T+3:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting ~The Lunar Flower~:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting ... [snip!] ... just not be able to pick her up. So maybe I could pick her friend up and take them, and her friends mother can drop her home."</blockquote>



She's only 8... Wouldn't it finish by 7?

I was in the same situation. DH has a demanding job since there is only 2 managers (him and another guy) and sometimes he has to be at work at 3 am but comes home early around 1 pm (if he works through his lunch) and naps and showers till 3 pm then helps out with the kids since that's when all the kids are home. But it took several long conversations to finally get him on my level. Plus, at his job there is always people quitting so him and the other guy always have plan out who is coming in early or when who can take their vacations and what not.

<blockquote><b>Quoting I Stab People:</b>" that sounds like my day, everyday, except i have no SO to watch the kids while i get my other ones from ... [snip!] ... to take them all regardless. and then i have noone to bitch at when things dont go as i plan, so i drink wine instead... lol"</blockquote>


Haha, im so buying a few bottles to store away for days like this. Although these type of days happen far too often, so id prob end up an alcoholic.

Iv been a single mother before....only with 1 child, but I know how it feels

<blockquote><b>Quoting Onalee's Mummy:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting J&T+3:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting ~The Lunar Flower~:</b>" ... [snip!] ... up and take them, and her friends mother can drop her home."</blockquote> She's only 8... Wouldn't it finish by 7?"</blockquote>


They have 2 time slots. First group (kinders - yr2) go 4:30 to 7. Second group (yr3 - yr6) go 7 to 8:30.