SAHM vs Working mom.

I am lucky enough to be able to be a SAHM. Well lucky in my opinion. I feel its a privilege. Just to clarify, I personally do not look down upon for feel there is anything wrong with being a working mom.
But I have a good friend who has two kids and works full time. I think she is amazing at juggling everything. But I feel as though she looks down upon me for being just a mother.
If I ever make a comment or complaint about laundry piling up or not getting enough sleep she makes snarky comments about how I should have the time since I am only a SAHM.

I asked her about how she felt and she said she feels that she is a better mom for being able to work and take care of the house. Maybe better mom isn't the word but she feels as though I shouldn't have any complaints about housework since I am home all day.

Personally I feel lucky to be able to stay at home with DS. Once he is in school, if we do not have any other LO's, I will want a part time job to stay busy. But overall I feel blessed. It hurts sometimes to feel like she thinks less of me for my choice to stay home. We have bills covered and everything we need. Of course we could do more and have more if I worked but I think, for us, me being home is great.

Do you think that being a SAHM is easier than a working mom? If you are a SAHM or working mom do you feel like others look down upon you for your choices?

I never look down at SAHMs. Hell I wish I could stay home! Lol. I work full time. Im a single mother who has a deadbeat BD. So i HAVE to work to support my son. I bust my ass at work and come home to bust my ass some more to care for my son. It sucks. I think its stupid for anyone to look down on another. If the kid is taken care of then shut up.

Just my opinion.

I worked until a year ago, and juggled work and college and a home with SO being completely useless at housework.. I feel so blessed to be able to stay home now. I just hate the thought of my little baby being with someone else all day while I work. I don't think its easier, because I now do 100% of everything in the house. But it a lot less stressfull than working also.
Personally, I think your friend is a bit jealous.

I work and I definitely have play dated with sahm who think their lives are better. I do have a hard time finding balance in life of working, being a mom, and getting house work done. I will pick my daughter over the other two at any given moment. I don't think you should be looked down on for staying home. I have always found sahm to be more judgemental than working moms

Quoting jess m401:" I worked until a year ago, and juggled work and college and a home with SO being completely useless at ... [snip!] ... of everything in the house. But it a lot less stressfull than working also. Personally, I think your friend is a bit jealous."

I don't think it is jealousy. She has always been career minded. She could stay home if she wanted. Her DH makes enough to support them. She is a teacher and working on her masters. I am so proud of her but I really think she feels superior because she has college degrees and is a mom.
I just brush it off usually but some of her comments just got to me today.

Physically I found it easier being a SAHM, I had all day to housework and cooking. Whereas as a working parent I have to rush most of it. I have a lot more 'motivation' to do housework now though, because I can't just 'do it later' lol

Mentally I smurfing LOVE being a working parent. I hated being a SAHM, it was horrible for me. I struggled with loneliness, loss of identity and so many financial troubles. When I started working that all changed and I wake up happy in the morning, I look forward to my weekends with my daughter because its not 'just another day'

But everyone has different preferences. I get smurf for spending limited time with my daughter, I see her for 1.5hrs in the morning, 1.5hrs at night and every 2nd weekend. So it's not much but IMO it's quality not quantity

Quoting Monica♥YASDYARDFR:" I work and I definitely have play dated with sahm who think their lives are better. I do have a hard ... [snip!] ... I don't think you should be looked down on for staying home. I have always found sahm to be more judgemental than working moms"

I do agree that some SAHM moms judge working moms as well. That is why I asked if either felt looked down upon.
I don't look down upon anyone who chooses what is best for their family.

I see from both sides. I feel like I'm way more tired now that I'm a working mom. I have to clean, cook, laundry, etc on top of working full time and trying to be the best mommy ever.

I have been both so I can say there are ups and downs to both sides of the story. SAHM - can be great, plenty of time with kids, time to get housework done, leisure time and such - not so great, hard to get away from the kids for peace, feeling of being monetarily dependent on spouse or possibly a financial burden, find it harder to be productive as there are few time constraints and it's easier to procrastinate.
Working Mom - good, financial independence, feelings of accomplishment over supporting self and family, time away from kids, plenty of contact with other adults, more productive with time, less time with kids but you enjoy and are more active with the time you have with them such as playing more and listening more. not so good, missing some of the kids milestones, not as much time to get housework done, sometimes rushed and hurried and lacking in patience, tired, having to find/payfor daycare, feelings of missing out on your kids lives.
As you can see there are good and bad sides to everything. In today's 2 income household society, SAHM are considered more traditional and since women's rights is still a very strong hot topic, staying home with your kids can unfortunately be viewed in a negative way as it is considered prefeministic lifestyle.
These are my opinions on the matter at any rate.

I don't think she should feel like she is better at all.

But I will say, I never understood how a few of my SAHM friends had houses that looked nasty when they are home to take care of it.

But there's stories like that on both sides.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Nicola.:</b>" I don't think it is jealousy. She has always been career minded. She could stay home if she wanted. ... [snip!] ... because she has college degrees and is a mom. I just brush it off usually but some of her comments just got to me today."</blockquote>




Aw I'm sorry :-( you're doing the best thing by staying home with ur baby.

Quoting motherofboys:" I have been both so I can say there are ups and downs to both sides of the story. SAHM - can be great, ... [snip!] ... be viewed in a negative way as it is considered prefeministic lifestyle. These are my opinions on the matter at any rate."

And I agree with you completely.
We are defnitely viewed as "old school". I do all the cooking, cleaning, and baby duty and he makes the money. I enjoy doing all of these things and like that our household is "old school". lol
Though he does help with DS anytime I feel I need a break.

I just hate that moms judge so much. I know its natural to make quick judgements but to be so rude with comments bothers me from my good friends.

I have done both. I can equally find as many pros and cons for each. They are both extremely challenging, but both deserve the same respect. Just a mom? Haha? And...... Cook, maid,doctor,alarm clock...need I go on?

I am a SAHM, and I get the "oh, you're just a mom" all the time. I do a lot around the house, and I'm lucky to be a SAHM.

I don't look down on working moms. I don't think my life is any easier, but I don't think it's harder. It's just different. We each do what we can for our families. I do have a more traditional role. I defer to my SO when necessary because he is the head of the family, and I like doing it. That doesn't work for everyone, and I know that. I'm not going to tell people how much better it would be for them, because that's not my call to make.