not quite an abortion debate...

Just curious as I just read a comment that made me think.

Is it fair that a girl can just decide to not be a mom but if a guy decides he doesnt want to be a dad he is a deadbeat?


I personally dont care what people do with their bodies that post just made me go hmmmmm.....

Opinions??

*post and run nost likely. its way passed bedtime*

Quoting It's a boy!!!!*3/27/13*:" Just curious as I just read a comment that made me think. Is it fair that a girl can just decide to ... [snip!] ... do with their bodies that post just made me go hmmmmm..... Opinions?? *post and run nost likely. its way passed bedtime*"

When a child is born and a mother doesn't want to be in her child's life while she or the dad has the child she is also a deadbeat. But as far as abortion goes she is making a choice to not be a deadbeat by not bringing a baby into the world she doesn't want.

Having said that, I feel there is a huge double standard when it comes to the issue.
When a woman is pregnant and wants the baby but the dad doesn't he is looked down upon. But if she doesn't want the baby she is praised for doing what she wants with her body.

I assume you mean decide not to be a mom and terminate the pregnancy?

I don't always think men who choose not to raise the child they helped create are deadbeats. Not everyone is ready for that big of a commitment and utter life-change. I think the ones who can't get their smurf together and would potentially pose a threat to the child are wise to step back.

What I do find sad is if the man who fathered the baby desperately wants to raise the child, but the woman does not and aborts, as she's the one with the body that's being invaded - not him - and ultimately that decision is her's to make.

Sorry should have clarified. Lol

Meaning abortion or adoption. "Not be a mom" is what the comment said.

So yeah basically if she decides she doesnt want to be a parent.

Just curious what other people thought about cause it really made me think how it sucks that us as women could choose to parent or not and generally not be judged (I know there are people who do judge) but guys seem to either get slapped with "he is an upstanding guy taking care of his responsibilities" or "god what a deadbeat".

Quoting It's a boy!!!!*3/27/13*:" Sorry should have clarified. Lol Meaning abortion or adoption. "Not be a mom" is what the comment said. ... [snip!] ... guys seem to either get slapped with "he is an upstanding guy taking care of his responsibilities" or "god what a deadbeat"."

In the case of adoption I definitely do not think of the woman or man being a deadbeat. Again, they are choosing not to be deadbeats by doing what they feel is in the best interest of the child.

Personally I don't think of anyone as a deadbeat if they don't want to parent, male or female.

It's a big life decision... women have the choice of abortion, and men are kinda just screwed.

Quoting It's a boy!!!!*3/27/13*:" Sorry should have clarified. Lol Meaning abortion or adoption. "Not be a mom" is what the comment said. ... [snip!] ... guys seem to either get slapped with "he is an upstanding guy taking care of his responsibilities" or "god what a deadbeat"."

I guess I'm confused.

Are you suggesting women might be considered deadbeats if they choose abortion or adoption over raising a child? Or am I reading into this too much??

Quoting loser mom:" I guess I'm confused. Are you suggesting women might be considered deadbeats if they choose abortion or adoption over raising a child? Or am I reading into this too much?? "

I'm getting the feeling it's meant to be a nicer way of saying "Abortion doesn't make you unpregnant; it makes you the mother to a dead baby"

I think that men should have a certain time frame in which to give up their rights to a child...say within the first few months of it being born. If they don't do that then tough smurf they are consciously making the decision to be responsible (at least financially) for the child.
What I think is really a more accurate description of a deadbeat dad is a man who is a part time dad/only when it's convenient for him. If you don't want to step up and be a parent then don't half ass it. Either be all in or not at all. It's not fair for a kid to see their parent go in and out of their life. That is more damaging than not having them around at all.

Quoting SAFFY™:" I'm getting the feeling it's meant to be a nicer way of saying "Abortion doesn't make you unpregnant; it makes you the mother to a dead baby""

I sort of got that impression too.

OP, I do not agree that abortion or adoption makes a woman a deadbeat.

I am not saying anything against a woman choosing to so what she wants with her body. Takes a strong person to go through either situatuon.

What I originally postes was EXACTLY what the comment I read had said. I was just curious what other people thought.


Sorry for the confusion I guess this was more of a "do you think there is a double standard?" Question.