So confused

I was going through my SO phone today because I had a feeling he was lying to me. Well I found out the girl that I've been having so many issues with because since I started working her and my SO have been talking a lot again and she is constantly trying to cause problems. Well the other night my SO was going to go to walmart before going to the bar with his friends and at the last minute he decided to drive himself and not take a shower and rushed out of the house. Well a friend asked me the next day who the girl he was with at walmart was I instantly knew it was her. I confronted him about it and he told me that she was already there when he just happened to show up next to her. I didnt believe him but started second guessing myself thinking I was wrong. Today he left his phone on the table while in the shower so I decided to look and see if he was lying to me. I know its wrong to snoop but he was lying, and has talked to her everyday since I started working with her and he tells her I hope someday you can love me like you use to. well I got upset and confronted him about it he said he lied so we wouldnt fight but he ment love as a friend. this girl has told him numerous times she cant just be friends with him and will not come to the house if I'm here. But im the only one in the wrong for snooping

It was wrong for you to look through his phone, but on the other hand I wouldn't be with someone like that. If he was respectful of you and your relationship he wouldn't be texting her or telling her he loved her. That's just wrong, IMO. How long have you been together?

Sounds like you guys have some trust issues to deal with, what does he say about it?

I'd say just leave him. If he wants another woman to love him and lies and goes behind your back, he obviously is not worth your time.

I would also address this with the female, especially since you work with her. Definitely don't make a scene at work, but she needs to know you're aware of what is going on.

what are you confused about? he's cheating on you.

Im confused because I want this to work but I dont know if its even worth it anymore. I have addressed her and she doesnt give a crap. He says love as in like friendship love I told him you dont just tell your friends that you love them everytime you talk and I know this for a fact we were friends for 14 years before getting together now we have a 2 1/2 month old daughter. yes he told me he loved me when we were just friends but only in certain conversations. we have been on and off for 2 years but like I said had a 14 year friendship before any of it.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Emma Catherine's mommy:</b>" Im confused because I want this to work but I dont know if its even worth it anymore. I have addressed ... [snip!] ... only in certain conversations. we have been on and off for 2 years but like I said had a 14 year friendship before any of it."</blockquote>




He'll keep doing that crap to you as long as you put up with it. :/

Don't feel bad for going through his phone, if he has nothin to hide it shouldn't bother him but obviously he has lots to hide and it is really not a good idea to stay with him, he loves her and not you im sorry, It's blunt but true. he talks to her everyday and sneaks around to go meet her please think of yourself and your daughter, its not healthy to be a bad relationship. It wont get any better.

I've had to result to snooping in previous relationships and found similar messages and when I look back on it, I wish I'd have left sooner.
Finding these messages and confronting him about them (which, yes, it's good that you confronted him) are going to open a door to a lot of bullsmurf in your relationship if you decide to stick around. Take it from someone who knows.. get out as soon as you can. He's lying. You should be the only woman he loves (besides family, of course), and if you're not.. he doesn't deserve you.

Quoting Sara McPhail:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Emma Catherine's mommy:</b>" Im confused because I want this ... [snip!] ... year friendship before any of it."</blockquote> He'll keep doing that crap to you as long as you put up with it. :/"

     

It's true. I put up with it in a previous relationship, I decided to stick around and try to work on things.. but I was the only one putting in any effort, I was the only one trying to hold our relationship together while he was sending some girl secret messages and meeting up with her behind my back.

Don't tolerate this. For the sake of you and your child, get out.

<blockquote><b>Quoting LayLu:</b>" I've had to result to snooping in previous relationships and found similar messages and when I look back ... [snip!] ... can. He's lying. You should be the only woman he loves (besides family, of course), and if you're not.. he doesn't deserve you."</blockquote>



Yep! My sister has been in a relationship with this guy for over 10 years. Same situation, all they do is fight and there is absolutely no trust. They are just stuck. I couldn't imagine living like that!

<blockquote><b>Quoting LayLu:</b>"       It's true. I put up with it in a previous relationship, I decided to stick around and try ... [snip!] ... secret messages and meeting up with her behind my back. Don't tolerate this. For the sake of you and your child, get out."</blockquote>




I had one boyfriend that cheated on my and his butt was gone as soon as I found out. I'm not saying people can't change but why would you want to take the chance when the person obviously didn't care much about your feelings or the relationship? That's just my opinion though.

I agree with what everyone is saying here... I would be doubly hurt to cause if a guy is cheating because he can't control his sexual desires and has flings well I wouldnt stay but I wouldnt be add hurt either. I couldforgive that. But as soon as love or wanting a relationship with someone else comes into the picture, I'm out. its like another level of betrayal