WTF IS THE POINT...

Of a custody arrangement if you dont have to follow it?

My BIL has joint custody of his four children. He is the residential cistodial parent. (I think thats the term?)

Anyways, his ex gets the kids wednesday night and every other weekend. He gets them the rest of the time.

So his 15yr old did not get off the bus. So he is panicking, they called the school, called the bus barn, called the mom (no answer). Called the police station.

Almost an hour later the ex texts and says he is with her and doesnt want to go back to his dads.

BIL calls the police station and apparantly thete is nothing they can fo. He has to go to the courthouse and file contempt of court and then pay a lawuer to file charges.

I am so possed right npw. For uears we have foight the ypungest child telling him he has to go to his moms and sitting through horrible tantrums when I guess it doesnt mayter.

So I guess they will be filing charges.

That really stinks for you BIL. I hope things work out. But if the 15 yr old says that he wants to the live with his mother the courts are going to allow it since he is old enough to make his own decisions. It is stupid but that is the way things are done.

It's not criminal if they have join custody. He can file a contempt of court, which is the point of having an agreement. He does NOT need a lawyer. He can go fill it out in 2 minutes at the courthouse and be handed a court date.

If he has primary physical custody, and it's in writing, there should be something they can do. She's violating a court order. And usually, stuff like that is handled through the county Sheriff's Office, not the local police department...I had a huge runaround with my ex and harassment, trespassing, and whatnot...I kept getting told "it's someone else's problem." Finally, the Sheriff's Office said that they WERE the ones to handle it, but I would have to go back to court and file harassment charges and whatnot.

I doubt the courts will do anything because the kid is old enough to chose where to live.

The kid is 15? Pretty sure he decides where he wants to live now. Here, kids can make their choice at 13 and nothing can be really done.
I can't imagine how smurffy that would feel though.

Thanks ladies. He has a lawyer who is already working on a case for him and she will be more than willing to do it for him. And he can make yhe ex pay the fees.

So far the courts will not allow the children to choose. I think this is what she is trying to get. She was trying to take my BIL for dna of the oldest becaise she is pretty sure that he is not the 15 yr olds biological dad. (Even though he raised him without her help for over 10 years). But we are guessing that got thrown out becaise he was supposed to get a court date today and didnt.

So now she is playing this game...

I would rather die than get a divorce....

<blockquote><b>Quoting PurpleBama582:</b>" If he has primary physical custody, and it's in writing, there should be something they can do. She's ... [snip!] ... said that they WERE the ones to handle it, but I would have to go back to court and file harassment charges and whatnot. "</blockquote>




Thats the phrase I was thinking of. Primary physical... and yes he does but our police station is a POS

Quoting tatesmommy09:" Thanks ladies. He has a lawyer who is already working on a case for him and she will be more than willing ... [snip!] ... supposed to get a court date today and didnt. So now she is playing this game... I would rather die than get a divorce...."

Extreme lol

Quoting tatesmommy09:" <blockquote><b>Quoting PurpleBama582:</b>" If he has primary physical custody, and ... [snip!] ... Thats the phrase I was thinking of. Primary physical... and yes he does but our police station is a POS"

Call the county Sheriff instead. That's normally who DHR or CPS will use for enforcement of their stuff, so they tend to handle most custody stuff like that.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Regina George ♡:</b>" Extreme lol"</blockquote>




Sorry... its kind of joke between me and hubby becaise neither of is ever want to have to deal with this smurf!

Quoting CerealMakerWife♥:" I doubt the courts will do anything because the kid is old enough to chose where to live. "

I don't know if that is the case anymore...I just went through a divorce, and we have kids (granted we are back together now and working out our issues) and when it came to custody, we have joint, split right down the middle with equal time, and I asked my lawyer what would happen in the future if one of our kids decided that they wanted to live with the other parent full time and they were old enough to decide. I was told that we would have to go back to court and that the judge would decide what was in the best interest for that child because they have too many instances where a child will get mad at the other parent and decide to live with the other one, and then want to move back with the other parent again because they are mad at that parent...Too much jumping around to be convenient for the child because they were of age to decide. So I was told that the law was changed, and the judge would be the one to decide and to make sure it was in a childs best interest.

<blockquote><b>Quoting PurpleBama582:</b>" Call the county Sheriff instead. That's normally who DHR or CPS will use for enforcement of their stuff, so they tend to handle most custody stuff like that. "</blockquote>




Oh it is County. They have to becaise they live out of town.

Quoting DJ, Nick & Emma's mommy:" I don't know if that is the case anymore...I just went through a divorce, and we have kids (granted we ... [snip!] ... was told that the law was changed, and the judge would be the one to decide and to make sure it was in a childs best interest."

They will decide what is best for the child but the child's opinion is heavily accounted for and more times than not they go with the child's choice.

<blockquote><b>Quoting DJ, Nick & Emma's mommy:</b>" I don't know if that is the case anymore...I just went through a divorce, and we have kids (granted we ... [snip!] ... was told that the law was changed, and the judge would be the one to decide and to make sure it was in a childs best interest."</blockquote>




Thats what we were told. I think it might vary by state though. I am glad to hear that you guys are doing good though!!