If you have a 3 year old...

What is your relationship with them like? Do you get along well? I swear my 3 year old hates me and I don't know what to do to make it better. I try having special mommy daughter time with her and it's like she tries to ruin it. I set aside time every single day to do something special with her and it's never "right" to her and it just turns into a whine fest.

Is this just a normal phase? I don't feel like this could possibly be normal.

My daughter is overly attached to me.
SO says I need to cut the cord.

But I am the only person who has always been there for her since birth.

She gets along so well with me it is annoying sometimes, I just want her to go off by herself sometimes.

My son has always been a complete mommas boy.. He will be 4 in April.

He didn't like me for 2 weeks when I brought his brother home, but that was understandable.

Quoting [JadeLee]:" My daughter is overly attached to me. SO says I need to cut the cord. But I am the only person who ... [snip!] ... for her since birth. She gets along so well with me it is annoying sometimes, I just want her to go off by herself sometimes."

I think that is the issue? If I am not paying attention to her, it is the end of the world and she totally acts out. I felt like by now I should be able to cook dinner, do a load of laundry, read a magazine...without her flipping out on me, but nope. It starts when I make breakfast in the morning cuz I'm not playing with her, and then just gets progressively worse with every other thing I have to do that day...

<blockquote><b>Quoting [JadeLee]:</b>" My daughter is overly attached to me. SO says I need to cut the cord. But I am the only person who ... [snip!] ... for her since birth. She gets along so well with me it is annoying sometimes, I just want her to go off by herself sometimes."</blockquote>




I have the same exact problem with my son. He likes to be up my tail all the time especially if I am doing school work that is his favorite time to get attention.

Quoting Chim Richalds:" I think that is the issue? If I am not paying attention to her, it is the end of the world and she totally ... [snip!] ... morning cuz I'm not playing with her, and then just gets progressively worse with every other thing I have to do that day..."

Yep.
I honestly don't know what to do about it either, I am not doing anything different than I ever have.
She comes and bugs me in the shower, in the kitchen, on the toilet.

Then again I am away from DD for 3-4 days a week during the day time.

I have just been using my mom being sick as an excuse, but it is still going on.

My daycare lady said a couple of her kids (She has 4) were like that and grew out of it by the time they were 5 so it must be kind of normal...

Quoting Chim Richalds:" What is your relationship with them like? Do you get along well? I swear my 3 year old hates me and I ... [snip!] ... to her and it just turns into a whine fest. Is this just a normal phase? I don't feel like this could possibly be normal."

Me and my 3-yr-old daughter get along pretty good. She's a real love bug most of the time. She's also spunky and quite a whiz, but she has her moments of craziness.

I am guessing that it's just some sort of phase she's going through.

Quoting Pistol Amber:" <blockquote><b>Quoting [JadeLee]:</b>" My daughter is overly attached to me. SO says ... [snip!] ... my son. He likes to be up my tail all the time especially if I am doing school work that is his favorite time to get attention."

For sure! And lately there has been blizzards or winter storms here every Monday and it has really been effecting my school work. I usually have to choose between DD and homework during the day and homework or sleep at night. Ugh.

Honestly when my daughter was 3, she was exactly like that. She is 8 now and is still like this. My son is 3 now and a mama's boy, he cant even sleep if he isnt right next to me.

I think it may be a gender thing? My co-worker says her kids were exactly like mine, and now that they are teens the daughter and her and best friends and her and her son grew apart....idk? I tried everything with my daughter, but she would just rather be with her dad. I was the same growing up.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Chim Richalds:</b>" I think that is the issue? If I am not paying attention to her, it is the end of the world and she totally ... [snip!] ... morning cuz I'm not playing with her, and then just gets progressively worse with every other thing I have to do that day..."</blockquote>

From what you're describing it really sounds like she needs a bit more attention- like "I'm 100% present" attention. My DD just turned 3 and I've found that she gets whiney if I'm half present and sort of pretending to be engaged with her. She's no dummy- she knows when I'm present or not. It's annoying at times and her feelings get hurt sometimes because I can't always do what she wants when she wants to, but a few things that have been helpful in building our relationship and setting boundaries/realistic expectations are:
- figuring out what she'd like to do/help you with. My DD likes to help set the table, help with dishes, cooking, etc. If she has some kind of role, she's a happy camper.
- what are some things/activities that just the 2 of you can do together? It doesn't have to be a long time... 15-30 mins. Every night my DD and I have a bath and we listen to music ( she makes requests). Sunday nights we might do a little art project. I just get some stuff at the dollar store and she enjoys that. She's attentive for like 20 mins but she usually seems to feel like that's enough time with me and then moves on to playing independently.
-maybe find out what type of stuff she likes to do and let her have some say in it. I figure she will have more buy-in and get less whiny. Let her see the process from start to end.

<blockquote><b>Quoting [JadeLee]:</b>" For sure! And lately there has been blizzards or winter storms here every Monday and it has really been ... [snip!] ... effecting my school work. I usually have to choose between DD and homework during the day and homework or sleep at night. Ugh."</blockquote>




Some lady rear ended me and LO Tuesday he did not get hurt but I did and yesterday we stayed home. SO took care of him but LO was so concerned about me he acted up the entire day. Of course the poor thing could not go outside either there were 45 mph winds here.

Quoting HamHam:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Chim Richalds:</b>" I think that is the issue? If I am not ... [snip!] ... let her have some say in it. I figure she will have more buy-in and get less whiny. Let her see the process from start to end."

I do all of these things   that is why I feel so hopeless. She helps me with everything. She makes coffee in the morning, spreads the peanut butter on her toast, helps me switch loads for laundry, helps me sweep, shovel, picks her clothes, chooses dinner.

But the moment I have to do one thing on my own, her whole world falls apart and she will lay on the floor screaming about how nobody loves her and she doesn't love mommy.

I take time every single morning to have it just be me and her and I play whatever she wants. She always finds a way to ruin it. This morning we were just talking and snuggling in bed like she wanted and she punched me IN THE FACE. In the middle of a sentence.

Quoting Pistol Amber:" <blockquote><b>Quoting [JadeLee]:</b>" For sure! And lately there has been blizzards ... [snip!] ... about me he acted up the entire day. Of course the poor thing could not go outside either there were 45 mph winds here."

We've been stuck in the house forever as well. My husband got side swiped the other day and we are down to one car. It is a nightmare.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Chim Richalds:</b>" We've been stuck in the house forever as well. My husband got side swiped the other day and we are down to one car. It is a nightmare."</blockquote>




I hope your hubby is feeling ok!

<blockquote><b>Quoting Chim Richalds:</b>" I do all of these things   that is why I feel so hopeless. She helps me with everything. She makes ... [snip!] ... morning we were just talking and snuggling in bed like she wanted and she punched me IN THE FACE. In the middle of a sentence."</blockquote>


Oh no, I'm sorry she's behaving that way  I have a better idea now of where you're frustration is coming from. Sounds like you've tried many different things. Has she always been this way? Is she the youngest? Are transitions tough for her? My DD has some challenges around transitions, and needed to be coached when there was going to be a switch to a new activity or separation from me. In some cases, it really just had to happen whether she liked it or not. I just had to practice a lot self control so she didn't pick up on my frustration or anxiety about causing her to be upset. It's taken time and its still not always smooth, but we had to set some boundaries with her and tian consistent. I'm not saying you're not doing things along these lines... Just sharing my experience when my dd has struggled being away from me