Quoting Amanda Korchinski:" Yikes!!! If she's that terrified or insecure about her own bed, you could maybe try what my step mom ... [snip!] ... gave in! It was hard but my son has slept in his crib in his room since day 2.(the first night he screamed all night lol)."
after I posted this I actually went and grabbed her mattress and put it right next to my bed, and put her on it. So we'll see how she does tonight. I think I'll just do this for now, instead of trying to put her in her own bed, I know that's got to be hard/confusing after over two years of sleeping right next to mommy. It's hard on me too though I love cuddling with her, makes me sad.