5 year old with stealing issues.....

So what do you do?! It started with her stealing a coach purse of mine.... and it got ruined... then she started taking her sister's things and losing them.... now it's taking things from school, and stealing stuff from other classmates... her grandma thinks she needs to grow out of it.... but her stuff hasn't been taken yet... so she doesn't see an issue... and she thinks i'm getting worked up over it.... but yes it bothers me that she is taking things that don't belong to her, and we can talk to her until she is blue in the face.. she isn't listening.... I don't know what to do.... kind of at my breaking point with this... and she lies when asked about it....

Anyone have advice?

Quoting Baby_Majick:" So what do you do?! It started with her stealing a coach purse of mine.... and it got ruined... then ... [snip!] ... don't know what to do.... kind of at my breaking point with this... and she lies when asked about it.... Anyone have advice?"

She is probably lying because of the previous confrontations and the fear of the outcome.

Start with asking why she feels like she needs to take things that aren't hers. There is always a reason that young children do things. They could be seeking attention, jealousy, just like the things, or are used to sharing everything they don't see it as stealing. Step back, think about what method you have tried and how it has worked or hasn't worked and do the opposite. Generally, the opposite will grab the attention especially if you have been struggling for long with out results on another option.

Quoting Not tellin:" She is probably lying because of the previous confrontations and the fear of the outcome. Start with ... [snip!] ... the opposite will grab the attention especially if you have been struggling for long with out results on another option."

Her grandma says she doesn't know what she is doing, and I disagree.... she's not lacking in attention, she's the baby... of course this has started since the brother is coming.

She's been the baby for almost 5 years... (she'll be 5 in May).... so maybe this is why... hmm... never thought about that.

Quoting Baby_Majick:" Her grandma says she doesn't know what she is doing, and I disagree.... she's not lacking in attention, she's the baby... of course this has started since the brother is coming. "

There you go. It is out of jealousy. You have got to find a way to get her excited about being a big sister. Make her feel like she is important and that her place in the family isn't being jepordized. Find something special for just you and her to do once a week to reassure her that she isn't being replaced. Have her help you get things ready for her baby brother. Do whatever you can to get her pysched about the new baby and reassure her that she is very important to you.

Quoting Not tellin:" There you go. It is out of jealousy. You have got to find a way to get her excited about being a big ... [snip!] ... her baby brother. Do whatever you can to get her pysched about the new baby and reassure her that she is very important to you."

The older sisters are excited, but i'm not sure what she thinks.... other than she wants him to come down stairs with her and play.... but when her Grandma is holding the older girls... she will pinch/hit and irritated them to get them to move... and Grandma doesn't really do much... kind of makes me mad... so I worry what if she is like that with the baby?!

Quoting Baby_Majick:" The older sisters are excited, but i'm not sure what she thinks.... other than she wants him to come ... [snip!] ... to move... and Grandma doesn't really do much... kind of makes me mad... so I worry what if she is like that with the baby?!"

With my twins I got them so involved with my pregnancy that when my son was born, he was their baby. They wanted to take care of him. They loved on him all the time. They always looked after him and one of the girls even tried to change his diaper. lol The more excited that she is about him and about how special she is for being a big sister, it might thwart the jealousy issues. It could also divert the bad behavior.

If you have some things left to purchase, maybe you can take just her along and ask her what she thinks you should buy. While you are out, maybe take her to build a bear and let her build her baby brother his very first teddy bear and one for herself so they have special brother and sister bears. Something to encourage her to think highly of the situation and to get so excited about him she forgets that she is not going to be the baby anymore.

Quoting Not tellin:" With my twins I got them so involved with my pregnancy that when my son was born, he was their baby. ... [snip!] ... her to think highly of the situation and to get so excited about him she forgets that she is not going to be the baby anymore. "

Thats a really awesome idea!! I'm being induced Friday.... but maybe I can get her involved with feedings... diaper changes, and so on... and take her tomorrow to buy the rest of the stuff I need... that will be nice!

Quoting Baby_Majick:" Thats a really awesome idea!! I'm being induced Friday.... but maybe I can get her involved with feedings... ... [snip!] ... with feedings... diaper changes, and so on... and take her tomorrow to buy the rest of the stuff I need... that will be nice! "

I think she will like that. It is almost too bad that you don't have more time but, emphasiss on how special she is to this little boy and to you will help. The bear thing will really make her feel special. Another thing you can do is allow her to meet him first. Give her something to brag about. Things like this will help her forge a bond and a sense of pride in him that will stick thru the hard times.

There is 25 months between my twins and my son. My biggest concern was reversion in behavior and such. The over involvement kept that at bay for me. For you, it will help the outbursts of bad behavior.

Good luck and congrats!!!

Quoting Not tellin:" I think she will like that. It is almost too bad that you don't have more time but, emphasiss on how ... [snip!] ... The over involvement kept that at bay for me. For you, it will help the outbursts of bad behavior. Good luck and congrats!!!"

Thanks for the advice!! I really hope she adores him... Mine are (will be) 9,6, and 5.... my oldest two are overly excited.... and I took my middle daughter out shopping once for baby stuff and she loved it... they love going through the baby stuff.

Quoting Baby_Majick:" Thanks for the advice!! I really hope she adores him... Mine are (will be) 9,6, and 5.... my oldest ... [snip!] ... and I took my middle daughter out shopping once for baby stuff and she loved it... they love going through the baby stuff."

Any time!! They will all adjust. They will all love him. Hope the little tip will make it easier for the adjustment!

Quoting Not tellin:" Any time!! They will all adjust. They will all love him. Hope the little tip will make it easier for the adjustment!"

I'm sure it will.... and I hope it stops her stealing habit lol.. because thats driving me crazy!!

Quoting Baby_Majick:" I'm sure it will.... and I hope it stops her stealing habit lol.. because thats driving me crazy!! "

LOL. My cousin did steal A LOT when he was young. Oddly enough, it was small things he could put in his pocket. It wasn't an intentional stealing thing he did. It was more of a habit to put things in his pocket. Keep in mind that not everything is a punishable offense and to choose your battles wisely. You know how tiring a new baby can be. Focus on the big issues and stay consistant with bragging on the good things she does. The less attention she gets on the bad and the more she gets on the good, the more good she will do.

Quoting Not tellin:" LOL. My cousin did steal A LOT when he was young. Oddly enough, it was small things he could put in ... [snip!] ... the good things she does. The less attention she gets on the bad and the more she gets on the good, the more good she will do."

That is true! She steals weird stuff, her sisters stuffed animals.... stuff from school.... she stole a little boys "belly washer" juice on the bus yesterday.... she went to return it and the boy didn't want it back... his sister had to tell her never mind keep it..... and she lied... how she got it..... If it was stupid stuff like candy, or something of no matter... I wouldn't be as irritated with it... but she has lost her sister's toys.... by stealing them and losing them at school.. I have talked to her about it over and over.... I thought it was over until she was taking stuff from school and now from the bus.

Quoting Baby_Majick:" That is true! She steals weird stuff, her sisters stuffed animals.... stuff from school.... she stole ... [snip!] ... talked to her about it over and over.... I thought it was over until she was taking stuff from school and now from the bus."

She really needs a distraction. Something of her own that is special. Something that makes her feel important. She could be embarassed about the stealing as well. Try a talk with her before you go shopping and then drop the subject and have fun.