FWB or "bedtime buddy"

What rules do you have for your "friend/s with benefits?" I thought "friends" was a part of the equation. But apparently not. And I'm too old to be playing these smurfing games. I want a FRIEND with benefits. lol Not some guy who totally ignores me until he gets a hair up his ass... well he can kiss mine good-bye.

When I had one a long time ago, other than sex, it was pretty much like hanging out with one of my girlfriends. We would hang out at his apartment mostly and watch tv, go to movies, go clubbing and had drinks together. We never got romantically involved though but I have no idea if we would have since I met(my DH now) someone else.

The only way that works when i would do it, is if it was ONLY about sex.
I didn't want the friends part either.

The one i had for years when i was younger, i had a friendship with too, but it was a really unique situation- that i could never/would never repeat.

The one i had before getting back together with my dude, was strictly sex only. He wanted more, and it just- no.
Cos then you can get into that muddy area of "why can we be friends/have sex, but not be in a relationship"
Plus, all i wanted was sex, not some dude bothering me otherwise.

Quoting Mom of 3 Little Boys!:" When I had one a long time ago, other than sex, it was pretty much like hanging out with one of my girlfriends. ... [snip!] ... together. We never got romantically involved though but I have no idea if we would have since I met(my DH now) someone else. "

See.... I know I don't want him as a relationship partner. But I do really enjoy hanging out with him and he really seemed like one of the good guys, just not the guy for me. I set boundaries right away. He always tells me he loves hanging out with me, but then I never hear from him. And now it's been several weeks. It's usually in 2 week intervals. I'm human. I want sex. lol Maybe a little sense of companionship. But I am careful about who I sleep with and who I have in my life.... so I don't do random sex or sex with someone who can't even talk to me on a normal basis. Frustrating.

Quoting KNZ.:" The only way that works when i would do it, is if it was ONLY about sex. I didn't want the friends part ... [snip!] ... can we be friends/have sex, but not be in a relationship" Plus, all i wanted was sex, not some dude bothering me otherwise. "

Yeah, I think that's the problem. I had BD forever. So now that he's out of the picture, I guess I'm not used to not having that kind of special relationship. I've always been independent. I don't want a relationship and the reasons we wouldn't ever become a couple are obvious. I just can't decide if I should keep him around or not.

Quoting Is that still my name?:" Yeah, I think that's the problem. I had BD forever. So now that he's out of the picture, I guess I'm ... [snip!] ... and the reasons we wouldn't ever become a couple are obvious. I just can't decide if I should keep him around or not."

I think you just need to decide what you can and can't handle with this dude then.
Cos when i think about friends with benefits or whatever, i dont really think about a "special relationship". I think about the perks of having consistent sex with someone that otherwise you don't have to care about.
BUT i really enjoy being single and not being bothered by someone else wanting attention, sooo- yeah  

Quoting KNZ.:" I think you just need to decide what you can and can't handle with this dude then. Cos when i think ... [snip!] ... have to care about. BUT i really enjoy being single and not being bothered by someone else wanting attention, sooo- yeah   "

True..true... I love the sex and it's really awesome to not feel like a frumpy mom with no life. Plus, I know guys like him are hard to find. He is related to my BFF so I trust him as well.. I guess I shouldn't be all "my way or the high-way"

I've only had one legit FWB. We didn't really set any ground rules, it just came naturally. He was the only guy I could have sex with and continue a friendship with, other than him I didn't want anything to do with the guy unless it strictly about sex.

I have no advice really, lol. I was always about sex with zero commitments before DH.