relationship problems? :(

hey everyone im 17 and expecting a little girl but i was just wondering if anyone else here is having problems with their partners since they found out they were pregnant? like when i found out i was pregnant i moved inwith his family and everything was good in the begginning but now i feel as if his brothers and family are more important then me and i feel like our itimacy and spark is slipping away coz were always arguing about his family because i really want to get our own place and so did he but his parents are really manipulative towards him and wont let him make his own decisions and he is 20! i try to talk to him about it but its hard because how do you tell someone their family is ruining our relationship and i dont want him to feel as if he has to choose or anything but i miss our one on one time coz i feel so crowded and like i never get space at his house   but he is really excited about our little girl which makes me happy but i dont wanna bring my baby home to his house its just too crowded!!! what do i do????? :'(

I'm with you.. You're about to become a family and you need your own space

Why did you move in with him and not stay with your own parents?

A lot of 20 year old are not able to adequately support a partner and baby - a lot are, too, but it depends on qualifications, etc, and a good degree of luck.. they may not be manipulating him as much as trying to explain how hard it will be if he's stuck working 60 hours a week of minimum wage - it will be nearly impossible for him to get a good education (or you, because someone will need to be with the child, too) in that situation. If it's truly just a matter of them not wanting you guys to leave, talk to him about it... well, yeah, just sit down and talk about it, either way. Calmly. All the issues.

Quoting .:Mini.Me:.:" I'm with you.. You're about to become a family and you need your own space"

thankyou its so nice for someone to see where im coming from like my familys answer is to move in with them but they live in a different state and i dont want to break up my family because he is going to be a great dad but at the same time i dont know how much more i can put up with it  

Quoting anonymom + 1.5:" Why did you move in with him and not stay with your own parents? A lot of 20 year old are not able to ... [snip!] ... you guys to leave, talk to him about it... well, yeah, just sit down and talk about it, either way. Calmly. All the issues."

because my mum had moved a state away and i was living with my sister at the time but then she decided to move in with her boyfriend and i didnt want to move miles away and not have him in my childs life but he has qualifications and a well paying steady job and we could afford to move out finely but his parents keep making him feel guilty about it :/

Quoting zoeee_xx:" thankyou its so nice for someone to see where im coming from like my familys answer is to move in with ... [snip!] ... break up my family because he is going to be a great dad but at the same time i dont know how much more i can put up with it  "

Well if it's crowded at his house that's not gonna be good for the baby, and the baby's needs have to go first

Quoting zoeee_xx:" because my mum had moved a state away and i was living with my sister at the time but then she decided ... [snip!] ... and a well paying steady job and we could afford to move out finely but his parents keep making him feel guilty about it :/"

..finely? lol

Then you just need to sit down and outline where you both want to be and what's holding you up. If he agrees with you but then bends to his parents will, maybe it's time to reconsider things. At seventeen, you need a big support system, not someone who is going to do whatever their mother & father wants them to do.

Quoting .:Mini.Me:.:" Well if it's crowded at his house that's not gonna be good for the baby, and the baby's needs have to go first "

thats exactly what i said   but how do you talk to someone about this without them feeling like its me or them? coz i still want his family involved but i just think everyone would benefit from some space

<blockquote><b>Quoting zoeee_xx:</b>" thats exactly what i said   but how do you talk to someone about this without them feeling like its ... [snip!] ... them feeling like its me or them? coz i still want his family involved but i just think everyone would benefit from some space"</blockquote>




What about moving but staying close. Like get an apartment down the street or something. That way you are close enough to visit whenever but allowed to create your own home and focus on your immediate family. It's a win win.

You should make sure you have enough money though first. You need first months rent, last months, and security deposit. Also you need more money for baby supplies, furniture, utilities, etc... I'd maybe look online at apartments and start looking just to research and calculate the costs and how much you will need. You would also have better Luck looking for a house or duplex that someone is renting out. Usually a landlord who only has a house or duplex is more willing to rent without credit checks and requiring a W2 then say a large complex.

<blockquote><b>Quoting anonymom + 1.5:</b>" Why did you move in with him and not stay with your own parents? A lot of 20 year old are not able to ... [snip!] ... you guys to leave, talk to him about it... well, yeah, just sit down and talk about it, either way. Calmly. All the issues."</blockquote>



my bf works 15-20 hours a week and supports me and our son. we also have our own place. i have a job, have for 3 years making 7.55 working 20-25 hours a week. (my bf has had his job for 5 months, started at 7.25 and now makes 8.50 an hour.) (we get a little assistance, like food. but we only get 200 a month.)

Op i think you need to get him alone for a day and look for places and talk about how you two need a place for you two and your baby. you can always get assistance to help with food and getting a place.

Quoting zoeee_xx:" thats exactly what i said   but how do you talk to someone about this without them feeling like its ... [snip!] ... them feeling like its me or them? coz i still want his family involved but i just think everyone would benefit from some space"

Just say it how it is without taking sides.. Honestly, no matter how you say it, it seems like they won't understand.. So it'll be difficult but it might work!