re: Home daycare issues. Feeling like a jerk.

Quoting danamae:" My issue isn't with the care her mom gives the kids. Is with the fact that I don't know her mom. None ... [snip!] ... and than she emails you saying she had to leave so "so and so" is watching your kids till you get back. You wouldn't like it."

  My stepmom is almost 60 and works full time at a daycare. 60 is older yes but not close to death, LOL

<blockquote><b>Quoting The Doctor:</b>" That's a great idea. Do I know all of the teachers at DD's preschool personally? Hell no. I went to ... [snip!] ... the parent. If you're not comfortable with it, do something. Either talk to her, meet her mom, or take your kids elsewhere."</blockquote>




That's a good idea. I think I mostly feel bad criticizing her in any way. She is a friend and I know the diagnosis has been hard on her.

Quoting The Doctor:" Well, the doctors offices don't necessarily cater to her schedule (mine certainly don't!) And I pay ... [snip!] ... to not trust the other person... I'd say you're overreacting a bit. But if you don't feel comfortable, find somewhere else."

this.

<blockquote><b>Quoting 3 little monsters:</b>"   My stepmom is almost 60 and works full time at a daycare. 60 is older yes but not close to death, LOL"</blockquote>




Haha true! I guess when I think of a 60 something year old I think of my mom who is 65 has a bad back high blood pressure and arthritis in her wrists! Haha.
But your right. Every one is different.

Quoting danamae:" <blockquote><b>Quoting The Doctor:</b>" That's a great idea. Do I know all of the ... [snip!] ... good idea. I think I mostly feel bad criticizing her in any way. She is a friend and I know the diagnosis has been hard on her."

You're not criticizing her if you present it in that way-- say you'd really like to meet her mother so you feel more comfortable when she's away at appointments. Then if you're not comfortable-- well, again, your kids come before your friend's business (just like hers do).

Quoting Onalee's Mummy:" She should be organising another carer when she can not be there to be in her home. Or give you 2 weeks notice. A similar thing happened with our family day carer. We just had to take days off"

Her mother is taking over care when she's not there, not telling them not to bring the kids.

Quoting danamae:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Mommy of a giggler!:</b>" I'm confused - the kids know her ... [snip!] ... was diagnosed 6 month ago. 6 months is a while ago. So yes she's been covering for awhile. Yes I've had the issue for a while."

Well if it's been happening for 6 months, and your child has been fine in the care of her mother for 6 months, why worry now?

Quoting Naturally Alternative~19w:" You could ask her to schedule an evening/weekend/off day to meet and greet with her mother so you parents ... [snip!] ... comfortable. After meeting the mother, you can decide if you trust her with the kids or not, and move forward accordingly."

This is a great idea.

Quoting danamae:" My issue isn't with the care her mom gives the kids. Is with the fact that I don't know her mom. None ... [snip!] ... and than she emails you saying she had to leave so "so and so" is watching your kids till you get back. You wouldn't like it."

I don't mind it at all.

My day care tore her rotator cuff. She has therapy and dr appointments often. I have a few options:
1. leave my kids there and let her daughter care for them (which is what happens)
2. pick them up early
3. choose a different day care

You have those options, too.

<blockquote><b>Quoting danamae:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Mommy of a giggler!:</b>" I'm confused - the kids know her ... [snip!] ... was diagnosed 6 month ago. 6 months is a while ago. So yes she's been covering for awhile. Yes I've had the issue for a while."</blockquote>



6 months is NOT a while when receiving a diagnosis.

Quoting Angel [Mariah's Mommy]:" <blockquote><b>Quoting danamae:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Mommy of a ... [snip!] ... for awhile. Yes I've had the issue for a while."</blockquote> 6 months is NOT a while when receiving a diagnosis."

lol Heck, it was almost 2 years of pushing for me to get one! And in the first year after, it was a lot of work setting up the team that would work with him.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Mommy of a giggler!:</b>" Well if it's been happening for 6 months, and your child has been fine in the care of her mother for 6 months, why worry now?"</blockquote>




I have been worried. But I've been trying to be understanding. The appointments don't seem to be slowing down on fact they seem to be becoming more frequent.
In fact she just emailed me about an hour ago and said that she had an appointment scheduled for 1:45 tomorrow so she would be leaving during nap time. And she would return by pick up. Which is 430-5.
I guess I snapped a little and need some advice on how to proceed.

<blockquote><b>Quoting The Doctor:</b>" You're not criticizing her if you present it in that way-- say you'd really like to meet her mother ... [snip!] ... appointments. Then if you're not comfortable-- well, again, your kids come before your friend's business (just like hers do)."</blockquote>




This is wonderful advice. Exactly what I'll do. Thank you.

Quoting danamae:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Mommy of a giggler!:</b>" Well if it's been happening for 6 ... [snip!] ... nap time. And she would return by pick up. Which is 430-5. I guess I snapped a little and need some advice on how to proceed."

If it's bothering you that much, you need to find some place else to go then. As things get in place, programs start, etc, it will probably continue to take just as much time (until he's in a full time school program). I'm busier this year with my son in a part time school program than I ever have been. He does school 8:30-10:45 Mon-Fri, OT 2 times a week, speech 2-4, behavioural once, etc. It can be very time consuming! I'm sure any new people she brings in to watch thier kids will be aware of her moms help right from the begining.

<blockquote><b>Quoting danamae:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Mommy of a giggler!:</b>" Well if it's been happening for 6 ... [snip!] ... nap time. And she would return by pick up. Which is 430-5. I guess I snapped a little and need some advice on how to proceed."</blockquote>



In the OP you seemed more worried about the fact that you are paying her while she is not there. Not the care your children a recieving. If it has been bothering you for so long why not send your children elsewhere? Or to a center where someone always has to be there, but may not have your child's best interest at heart.