re: Home daycare issues. Feeling like a jerk.

My issue isn't with the care her mom gives the kids. Is with the fact that I don't know her mom. None of the parents do. The kids know her simply because she covers daycare a lot.
I'm sorry but I sent my kids to a private daycare because I knew her and knew how my kids would be treated. Now that's she's gone for at least half the day once a week sometimes twice. I don't know who has them. I don't how she treats them and she's 60! Could you imagine caring for 6 children for 4 hours a day at 60 years old?
I want to say something to her about scheduling on Mondays or maybe even cutting her day by an hour so so we could plan to pick them up early. But I don't know how.
Imagine how you would feel if you dropped your kids off with a specific person and than she emails you saying she had to leave so "so and so" is watching your kids till you get back.
You wouldn't like it.

I also think the home daycare provider should cut her work load down if her child is needing so many appointments. Cause after all, he comes first, right?

Quoting danamae:" My issue isn't with the care her mom gives the kids. Is with the fact that I don't know her mom. None ... [snip!] ... and than she emails you saying she had to leave so "so and so" is watching your kids till you get back. You wouldn't like it."

I agree.
This is a concept most cannot grasp unless you work yourself.

Quoting danamae:" My issue isn't with the care her mom gives the kids. Is with the fact that I don't know her mom. None ... [snip!] ... and than she emails you saying she had to leave so "so and so" is watching your kids till you get back. You wouldn't like it."

Again, then I'd recommend finding someone else if you don't feel comfortable, or she's not communicating adequately.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Just Ames:</b>" I also think the home daycare provider should cut her work load down if her child is needing so many appointments. Cause after all, he comes first, right?"</blockquote>

I agree with this. She may need the money to help cover the appointments & bills though so it may not fully be an option for her

<blockquote><b>Quoting Just Ames:</b>" I also think the home daycare provider should cut her work load down if her child is needing so many appointments. Cause after all, he comes first, right?"</blockquote>



Exactly how I'm feeling. Her son should absolutely some first. No question.
But if she can't handle her sons diagnosis and her home business than she needs to let us parents know. I would understand. If she needed to cut back. But this whole back and forth emailing the parents the night before to let us know she won't be there for drop off. I really feel when we as parents trust someone else to watch out kids we need to know they are a priority. And again. I don't even know her mom.

Quoting danamae:" My issue isn't with the care her mom gives the kids. Is with the fact that I don't know her mom. None ... [snip!] ... and than she emails you saying she had to leave so "so and so" is watching your kids till you get back. You wouldn't like it."

I actually wouldn't give a smurf honestly as long as it's the same capable person that I knew that covered for her every time. You're paying her for your children to be watched and taken care of, which they are under her care AND her mother's. She could be like, oh I have an appointment on Friday so you'll have to find different childcare. But she's not, she takes care of it herself. Not really sure what the issue is.

Quoting danamae:" My issue isn't with the care her mom gives the kids. Is with the fact that I don't know her mom. None ... [snip!] ... and than she emails you saying she had to leave so "so and so" is watching your kids till you get back. You wouldn't like it."

I'm confused - the kids know her because she covers the daycare a lot, so she's been doing this for a while? Then why the issue now when she tells you she's going, if she was doing it before and it wasn't a problem?

As for not knowing her, so go and meet her! Problem solved.

<blockquote><b>Quoting danamae:</b>" My issue isn't with the care her mom gives the kids. Is with the fact that I don't know her mom. None ... [snip!] ... and than she emails you saying she had to leave so "so and so" is watching your kids till you get back. You wouldn't like it."</blockquote>




Uh my mom is 61 and cares for her 6 grandchildren everyday, she is more than capable. 60 isn't that old....

If you feel this strongly about it remove your children and place them somewhere else. That's your solution.

I can see why you are annoyed with it but honestly she is in the early stages of diagnosis and it won't stay so chaotic as time goes on. It's pretty much impossible to only schedule apps one day a week and our developmental pedi is only available Thursdays. I'd imagine she is probably catering to their schedules right now. I wouldn't say anything unless it goes on for a long time.

She should be organising another carer when she can not be there to be in her home. Or give you 2 weeks notice.

A similar thing happened with our family day carer. We just had to take days off

You could ask her to schedule an evening/weekend/off day to meet and greet with her mother so you parents can meet her and feel more comfortable.

After meeting the mother, you can decide if you trust her with the kids or not, and move forward accordingly.

<blockquote><b>Quoting danamae:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Just Ames:</b>" I also think the home daycare provider should ... [snip!] ... we as parents trust someone else to watch out kids we need to know they are a priority. And again. I don't even know her mom."</blockquote>


Email her about a meeting day for parents to become more familiar with her mother. Her mothers helping her run a business so technically she's an employee/co-owner

Quoting Naturally Alternative~19w:" You could ask her to schedule an evening/weekend/off day to meet and greet with her mother so you parents ... [snip!] ... comfortable. After meeting the mother, you can decide if you trust her with the kids or not, and move forward accordingly."

That's a great idea.

Do I know all of the teachers at DD's preschool personally? Hell no. I went to meet them and made my decision from there. When there's a new teacher there, I go introduce myself.

I don't think it's that big of a deal, but OP-- you're the parent. If you're not comfortable with it, do something. Either talk to her, meet her mom, or take your kids elsewhere.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Mommy of a giggler!:</b>" I'm confused - the kids know her because she covers the daycare a lot, so she's been doing this for ... [snip!] ... she's going, if she was doing it before and it wasn't a problem? As for not knowing her, so go and meet her! Problem solved."</blockquote>




Her son was diagnosed 6 month ago. 6 months is a while ago. So yes she's been covering for awhile. Yes I've had the issue for a while.