re: what do you do when your SO/DH does something wrong?

Quoting LEGENDARY JAS ♥:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Spoonful of Jayson:</b>" He will fold smurf semi-right, but ... [snip!] ... putting it away. Team work makes the dream work. Damn, I woul hate living with you. You sound like a big ball of irritation."

Well it doesn't say much about you making such rash decisions about what someone's like to live with based on so little information.

When someone feels this way about little things, there's usually a bigger problem going on, which we've established there is.

Quoting Red Bottom:" Why isn't leaving him the best option? Don't you deserve to be happy?"

Sure, doesn't everyone? But at what cost? It would hurt him tremendously and there are some other issues holding me back.

Quoting Spoonful of Jayson:" Yes, because it's too much for him to do one load of laundry all the way through while I do the other ... [snip!] ... up and be gracious that he tried, followed by me picking up the slack afterwards and coming here to say it instead of to him."

Have you tried talking to him before. Maybe your version of finishing a task all the way through and his are different.

Quoting Spoonful of Jayson:" lol what am I going to do? Appear behind him in a shady way so when he turns around I'm standing there ... [snip!] ... It's just annoying. Why should I be the only one to finish a job or pick up a pillow that he just stepped over? "

I think the more important question is why do you continue to be with someone who makes you so unhappy, and is incoherently lazy? If you feel like you have to be his mother to get him to help you out, is it worth it?

Quoting bbbt:" Do you both work? "

He works, I go to school full time and do all the house/kid stuff aside from a few things obviously or this thread would not be in existence.

Quoting Spoonful of Jayson:" He works, I go to school full time and do all the house/kid stuff aside from a few things obviously or this thread would not be in existence."

What does he do? He could just be too exhausted after work to come home and fiddle with laundry and dishes.

Quoting Red Bottom:" I think the more important question is why do you continue to be with someone who makes you so unhappy, ... [snip!] ... so unhappy, and is incoherently lazy? If you feel like you have to be his mother to get him to help you out, is it worth it?"

I don't know. I'm weak. I don't want to hurt him. I'm scared. My son. Aren't the reasons always the same? I just don't know the solution yet.

Quoting Spoonful of Jayson:" I don't know. I'm weak. I don't want to hurt him. I'm scared. My son. Aren't the reasons always the same? I just don't know the solution yet."

Those are excuses not reasons.

My DH has the habit of putting plastic serving spoons in the dishwasher facing up so they collect dirty water or putting certain things in the dishwasher that should be in there. No matter how many times I tell im he can't do that he does it anyway. But I usually thank him for doing the dishes buy remind him nicely that things need to be a certain way in the washer. Usually have him put the dishes away so I can load up the washer but with a baby constantly demanding my attention he is helping more so I try not to get upset and nag him everytime

Quoting bbbt:" What does he do? He could just be too exhausted after work to come home and fiddle with laundry and dishes."

He is an assistant manager of a restaurant. I don't think he's exhausted, I think he just doesn't want to. He always finds the energy if it's something fun for him.

Quoting Jennybananna:" Those are excuses not reasons. "

Yes, well...what would you like from me? Is there an actual reason for me to be with him? No, probably not. Are there benefits for both of us to stick it out? Yeah, I think so. It's just an odd situation.

Quoting Spoonful of Jayson:" Sure, doesn't everyone? But at what cost? It would hurt him tremendously and there are some other issues holding me back."

It would hurt him how? That you're not there for him to half ass with anymore?
What other issues?

I mean you can waste umpteen more years being unhappy, or you can find yourself again and stop being so miserable.

Quoting Spoonful of Jayson:" I don't know. I'm weak. I don't want to hurt him. I'm scared. My son. Aren't the reasons always the same? I just don't know the solution yet."

Doesn't your son deserve a good example of happiness, or do you want him to settle for unhappiness because he has a baby with someone who's lazy?

Quoting Spoonful of Jayson:" Yes, well...what would you like from me? Is there an actual reason for me to be with him? No, probably ... [snip!] ... be with him? No, probably not. Are there benefits for both of us to stick it out? Yeah, I think so. It's just an odd situation."

If you aren't happy then its not really a good situation. While getting out right now might not be an option I would be working towards it. I would never want my children to watch me be in a relationship that I was unhappy and miserable in. While it might be ideal to leave if you really wanted to you could.

Quoting Spoonful of Jayson:" Yes, well...what would you like from me? Is there an actual reason for me to be with him? No, probably ... [snip!] ... be with him? No, probably not. Are there benefits for both of us to stick it out? Yeah, I think so. It's just an odd situation."

Lol, you need to leave him because he's lazy. That's ridiculous. Part of being in an adult relationship with someone is working through your issues and differences. You need to discuss with him your concerns and changes you'd like to see, and in return ask the same things from him. What does he want to see more of from you? You're probably not the only one who is frustrated here.