WWYD?

Just for some background - SO and I have been together for 4 years now on and off. Neither one of us has cheated (that I know of) but we have split before and dated other people.

So this morning I'm in and out of sleep and I hear him getting dressed for work. I try going to back to sleep and then I hear him standing right next to me. I can hear him grab my phone and unlock it and turn it down on vibrate (I'm assuming so I don't hear it). He then proceeds to leave the room. I look over at the night stand and my phone is gone - fine, whatever.

Then our son wakes up, and he's still in the living room with my phone. I play it off like I don't know he has it to see if he will put it back. I go to the bathroom and ask SO if he can get R something to drink (again seeing if he will put the phone back while I'm not in there).

After this is all said and done, he never put the phone back. He put it on the counter and played it off like he didn't know where it was, he never looked through it, had nothing to do with it. He straight up lied to my face and stole my phone while I was "sleeping".

WWYD? How do you handle this? It's not the fact that he took my phone - I have nothing to hide and never have. I think it's just the principle that he feels he has to check my phone behind my back. If he wanted it that bad, he can ask - he doesn't have to be so sneaky KWIM? And then the fact that he lied about it like he never saw the damn thing. That pissed me off even more.

I'm just slightly confused by this sentence:

"He put it on the counter and played it off like he didn't know where it was, he never looked through it, had nothing to do with it"

Did you mean he never looked through it at all or he just didn't look through it once you were up and he had put it on the counter?

Either way, I would confront him and tell him you saw that he picked it up of your night stand.

I would bring it to his attention that you knew. Let him know that you don't care that he looks as you have nothing to hide,but he needs to be able to tell you the truth if you ask. You're being open and he needs to be as well.

well he must be suspicious of something for some reason may it be something someone said, or his own mind or could be because he is doing stuff he shouldn't be.. either way if you have nothing to hide it's just a phone.. so no need to get upset, maybe he thought it was no big deal because you had nothing in it?

Quoting Colt's mommy:" I'm just slightly confused by this sentence: "He put it on the counter and played it off like he didn't ... [snip!] ... had put it on the counter? Either way, I would confront him and tell him you saw that he picked it up of your night stand."

She said he acted like he never looked through it

Quoting Squid Kid:" She said he acted like he never looked through it"

ok, I re-read it again and understand what she ws saying.

Quoting Colt's mommy:" I'm just slightly confused by this sentence: "He put it on the counter and played it off like he didn't ... [snip!] ... had put it on the counter? Either way, I would confront him and tell him you saw that he picked it up of your night stand."

I meant he blew it off like he had nothing to do with it once I was awake.

Quoting Katrina,Phia&Easton's Ma:" I would bring it to his attention that you knew. Let him know that you don't care that he looks as you ... [snip!] ... have nothing to hide,but he needs to be able to tell you the truth if you ask. You're being open and he needs to be as well."

I've told him a million times that I don't care about a phone. But he still feels the need to hide it like I'm going to get mad. I mean yes, I have gotten defensive before because it's just plain annoying. We've been together for so long and have never broken each others trust so I don't see the point of acting like teenagers and checking up on each other if there is no reason. KWIM?

Quoting Mrs.Josh Ramsay:" well he must be suspicious of something for some reason may it be something someone said, or his own ... [snip!] ... nothing to hide it's just a phone.. so no need to get upset, maybe he thought it was no big deal because you had nothing in it?"

I'm not mad about him going through my phone. I'm upset at the fact that he thinks he has to go behind my back, and then lie about it.

I wouldn't ignore it next time...Don't get mad or anything but when you come out just be like "Where did you set my phone?" If he acts like he hasn't seen it I'd be like Uh I just saw you on it and I saw you grab it from my nightstand??" Again not mad but not pretending to believe bs. If you don't acknowledge what he does, he is never going to quit. If you guys have been together that long without problems that is stupid to look through your phone

I don't know. I would just tell him you knew he took it because you were awake when he did, and ask him what he was looking for.

It doesn't seem like that big of a deal to me.

Quoting dbailey:" I wouldn't ignore it next time...Don't get mad or anything but when you come out just be like "Where ... [snip!] ... he is never going to quit. If you guys have been together that long without problems that is stupid to look through your phone"

But the thing is - I have acknowledged it before without getting mad. This isn't the first time it's happened. It got so bad at one point he was checking my phone every time he could get his hands on it and I had to put a password on my lock screen. He is really insecure and has trust issues - but not because of something I've done.

I just don't know how to make him stop. It's so frustrating.

I would confront him and ask why his ass was lying. I don't take kindly to lying to my smurfing face...I would be livid.

Quoting Rista Kat:" I've told him a million times that I don't care about a phone. But he still feels the need to hide it ... [snip!] ... each others trust so I don't see the point of acting like teenagers and checking up on each other if there is no reason. KWIM?"

He seems to have an issue with something that he hasn't brought up with you. Sounds like he is lying about it because he is embarrassed that he does it and is insecure about something.

i wouldn't be super defensive about it. cuz then he's gonnna think you do have something to hide, right? my dh has looked through my phone all the time, his phone broke on friday last week and i let him take my phone to work saturday and monday. i have nothing to hide, but god forbid i see his phone. -.- i know what you mean it is really annoying. he's probably just checking up on you, i wouldn't worry about it. you could definitely bring it up saying that you heard him take it, unlock it, vibe it and leave the room with it.... but if you don't care that he reads it, then dont make a major deal out of it. insecurities, we all have them.