BD drama

So the father of my baby has made it clear he doesn't care about me, and I'm fine with that. However, now he's going around and telling people (also posting on social media sites) that he wishes he was somebody else because he doesn't want to have a baby. He publicly has conversations about how I'm "crazy" and ruining his life. I would be fine with him signing over his rights, but he won't. Plus, I wouldn't know what to do because his mom wants to be involved in her grandson's life (this is her first grandbaby) - she surprised me with a beautiful crib and changer the other day and then the next brought me a breast pump and storage set. I never asked her for any of this stuff, I was very surprised.

I'm just so hurt by everything he's saying and doing, I don't know how to handle it.

What a douche canoe. I'm sorry you're going through that. Its great that his mother wants to be involved though. She needs to have a sit down with her son. If he doesn't want to be involved, fine. He doesn't need to go trash talking you or the situation especially on social media sites. That's so childish. Is he also pretty young? Maybe the thought of being a father is scaring the ever life out of him though its not an excuse for his actions. He may come around.

<blockquote><b>Quoting veggiehugger:</b>" So the father of my baby has made it clear he doesn't care about me, and I'm fine with that. However, ... [snip!] ... of this stuff, I was very surprised. I'm just so hurt by everything he's saying and doing, I don't know how to handle it. "</blockquote>




Let his mother in and any other members of his family but cut ties with him

If I were you, however hard it might be, I'd just ignore him and let him do his thing. He sounds immature and not likely to change anytime soon. It's amazing that his mother wants to be so involved, and has been so giving, and I'd absolutely let her visit and see the child. Maybe she can talk some sense into him for you?

Quoting LEGENDARY JAS ♥:" What a douche canoe. I'm sorry you're going through that. Its great that his mother wants to be involved ... [snip!] ... the thought of being a father is scaring the ever life out of him though its not an excuse for his actions. He may come around."

He's 23 but he seems to mentally be 16. I'm not sure his mom even knows what he's saying and I wouldn't want to bring it up to her. I'm 100% fine with her being involved, I just don't want him being involved if he's going to act like that (I know there's not really anything I can do though). I don't want my son to grow up thinking he's unwanted because his dad's an smurf.

As hard as it may be, I would try to ignore it. If people are telling you what he's posting, ask them not to tell you anymore. And it's awesome his mom wants to be involved, maybe she can talk some sense into him.

I was in ur shoes with my 1st baby, it was all bad...

just focus on u and ur baby, I know how hard it is, when i was pregnant with Dean myspace was the big thing and everyone knew everything, it was hard to ignore, but don't let him ruin ur pregnancy, and that's awesome shes so involved and is trying to be a good grandma,

I promise u 1 day he will look back and regret everything hes doing now, and at least u and his mother know u will never have that cross to bear,

Quoting DeanJade&Mak's Mom:" I was in ur shoes with my 1st baby, it was all bad... just focus on u and ur baby, I know how hard ... [snip!] ... he will look back and regret everything hes doing now, and at least u and his mother know u will never have that cross to bear,"

I know you and all the other ladies are right. I don't talk with him at all but it still hurts that he would say that about our son. Even if he feels that way, I don't think he needs to be publicly expressing those feelings.

Quoting veggiehugger:" I know you and all the other ladies are right. I don't talk with him at all but it still hurts that ... [snip!] ... he would say that about our son. Even if he feels that way, I don't think he needs to be publicly expressing those feelings. "

its gong to hurt even more when babies born if he continues these vents, but u can choose to stay away and ignore it, our baby was in nicu for 2 months, he went 1 time to see him, said he was ugly and too small then called me a piece of smurf mom because he only had 1 pj that was small enough to fit him and it was dirty,
he made me cry in the nicu then threw papers at nurse and talked smurf to her till he decided to leave....

he denied the baby till he went to prison... the baby was already 3 yrs when he went to court for custody... he missed out on everything that u could imagine was important, i didn't

our babys turning 7 in may, his dad still struggles with the way he handled it

Quoting DeanJade&Mak's Mom:" its gong to hurt even more when babies born if he continues these vents, but u can choose to stay away ... [snip!] ... that u could imagine was important, i didn't our babys turning 7 in may, his dad still struggles with the way he handled it"

Wow, he sounds like an ass.
How did you deal with it though? Like I said, I'm trying to ignore it, it's just sooo hard. Plus, I've seen the things he's said and it's really embarrassing.

Quoting veggiehugger:" Wow, he sounds like an ass. How did you deal with it though? Like I said, I'm trying to ignore it, it's just sooo hard. Plus, I've seen the things he's said and it's really embarrassing. "

Ahh, how sad.   I'm really sorry you have to go through all this.

His friends and family are probably seeing what an ass he is being. You just have to be the bigger person here and ignore the negativity.

And don't look at his FB anymore!

Quoting veggiehugger:" Wow, he sounds like an ass. How did you deal with it though? Like I said, I'm trying to ignore it, it's just sooo hard. Plus, I've seen the things he's said and it's really embarrassing. "

He really is... lol

I just didn't* deal with him, I worked on the babies nursery alot, did alot of shopping when i had the money and window shopping when i didn't, i kept as busy as I could... I deleted my myspace, and pretty much just cut contact with everyone who wasn't my family...

i knew i was having the baby, i knew the baby was his, and i didnt have to prove smurf to anyone, once i had the baby everything was soooo much easier i didnt have time to even waste on his drama, only thing that killed me was holidays and when we baptized Dean, it hit me all over again I was alone, other than that, Dean was the only thing that helped me get over him and everything he did, even now after everything, (and he did alot, lol) only reason I was able to forgive him, was because i seen how it was hurting Dean not to have both of us the way my other 2 babies seen me and their father...

now I even invite him to my other children's birthday parties, and he comes and behaves brings a gift and actually has great relationships with my other 2 kids and my husband...

he just needed to grow up on his own time and when he was ready to be a dad, i needed to let him try, now hes awesome, im very proud of my babies daddy lol, he reminded me why i ever fell for him in the 1st place, even tho we will never be together, hes a good dad *FINALLY* lol

Quoting DeanJade&Mak's Mom:" He really is... lol I just didn't* deal with him, I worked on the babies nursery alot, did alot of ... [snip!] ... lol, he reminded me why i ever fell for him in the 1st place, even tho we will never be together, hes a good dad *FINALLY* lol"

I'm glad everything ended up working out well for you  
And I got a text from my BD saying that he's stopping by today but wouldn't tell me why. All I sent him back was "text me before you head over" but I'm REALLY not looking forward to seeing him, not with all the wounds being so fresh.

<blockquote><b>Quoting veggiehugger:</b>" I'm glad everything ended up working out well for you   And I got a text from my BD saying that he's ... [snip!] ... was "text me before you head over" but I'm REALLY not looking forward to seeing him, not with all the wounds being so fresh. "</blockquote>



Yeah when i was still pregnant and he said he was coming over, it was usually to fight, and see if i was still pregnant, i was never happy to see him, if i didnt want to have sex, he didnt care, if i didnt do what he wanted fists were flying,
Just be careful today, let me know if u need anything, im here for u  

<blockquote><b>Quoting DeanJade&Mak's Mom:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting veggiehugger:</b>" I'm glad everything ended up working out ... [snip!] ... care, if i didnt do what he wanted fists were flying, Just be careful today, let me know if u need anything, im here for u  "</blockquote>




I'm hoping he just won't show up. If he tried to force me to do anything I would call the police, but my dad is here so I'm not overly concerned about that. He has 16/17 year olds who he uses for sex anyways.