Maybe a philosophical question? "MIL" bullsmurf

After having a long hard discussion with Nana (DD's grandma on her deadbeat dad's side), I agreed to let her continue to see DD, as I want nothing more for her than for her to have her family, even if douche is not envolved. She is manipulative and has broken my boundaries, but I finally stood up for myself. She does not know anything that TRUTHFULLY happened between me and BD (Or DB as I will call him). I don't care to play cat and mouse or tarnish her relationship with her son over telling the ACTUAL truth. Long story short, I had a good friend move in to help me with the rent. She and her boyfriend of 8 years are separating. I told her "he wasn't treating her right". Her immediate response was "We'll then he doesn't want to be with her". I said "No, she left him. He wants to work it out, but she has had enough." She then states that he is only pretending he wants to be with her so that she can leave him, because if he leaves her then she will be angry with him and lash out for the rest of her existence.
There have been several occasions where DB has said weird things that I KNEW he heard elsewhere, usually being one of the two girls he was cheating on me with, or his mother. They are ridiculous statements. And of course, as liars and manipulators do, they forget their lies and manipulations, and get caught in them. Such as now. Everything is my fault. NOTHING could EVER be her dear sweet son's fault. Ever. None of them. They are ALL druggies and dirt bags. But it's the fault of the world. Not her's for raising them poorly and so forth. She is a counselor. She should know better.
Needless to say, I have come to conclusion and fact that she can have her opinion based off of lies and failure to act responsibly, like a sane person, she can talk smack all she wants, and blow glass up my ass for all I care. I don't have to like her to love her. She is DD's grandma. I have always kept my mouth shut when people tried to play catty. I don't need the one-up. I am secure. I am just sad that they choose to not know better for themselves.

I suppose that's the point. It's her choice to deny herself, DD, and DB, and all her children and friends and family the right to an honest, fulfilling relationship that will actually develop a human being into a human being rather than an smurf who hates themselves so much they have to manipulate everyone and every circumstance in their lives.

The end.

I hate people that make stupid excuses like that. My grandma would too. In her mind it's always the waoman that has done wrong somehow somewhere to cause whatever problem there is. She always plays favorites with the boys too, always wished she was one. It's a weird mindset.

Sounds just like my 9 year old DD's paternal grandma. She makes up every excuse in the book for her son (BD). He is in and out of jail but she is a lawyer so she always gets him out. He went to and got kicked out of every methadone clinic in our city so she opened one up for him! Who opens up a methadone clinic just so their son can go there?! The funny thing is, he then got kicked out of there and had to beg one of the other ones to take him back! Oh and her other son is crazy as smurf. His dad is also a lawyer but has pretty much given up on him.

So yeah, I know how you feel. She blamed me for breaking her dear son's heart when I left him years ago. Everything was my fault.

Quoting Serial Mom ✄:" Sounds just like my 9 year old DD's paternal grandma. She makes up every excuse in the book for her son ... [snip!] ... yeah, I know how you feel. She blamed me for breaking her dear son's heart when I left him years ago. Everything was my fault."

OMG.... Yeah, she's a drug counselor yet not only condones but PROVOKES their drug abuse and mental issues. She told him and called my mom to tell her I had borderline personality disorder. I called her to tell her she hasn't had one conversation with me that would allow her to ever develop that analysis let alone assume it. Her excuse? That DB and I had been off and on..... I told her "yeah! Because he keeps cheating on me!" But I forgot, he cheats because he is unhappy.... it's not like he begged me not to leave him the last time... In her eyes, he did it all because he was unhappy. Wouldn't a normal person leave then or try to fix it and NOT CHEAT?! And that's only the smallest issue he has.