re: pink on boy D&D

Quoting Draco'sStalker:" honestly, i think it's a bigger deal for parents to suppress their child. By telling them that things ... [snip!] ... telling them that they're wrong. Why not teach them how to be themselves and not listen to the crap that other kids spew out?"

how is not buying a pair of shoes "suppressing" your child? A kid can't have EVERYTHING they want. At a young age they haven't even gotten to the stage of self identity.

Quoting M&D's Momma:" how is not buying a pair of shoes "suppressing" your child? A kid can't have EVERYTHING they want. At a young age they haven't even gotten to the stage of self identity. "

Exactly!!!!!!

Quoting M&D's Momma:" Yeah, completely understand, that's why I don't judge people on how they want to raise their child. ... [snip!] ... them stuff they want. Just like my mother chose what i wore up until I was about 12-13 I'll be doing the same for my children."

Ha ha sometimes I wish my mom dressed me that long. I have a picture of me when I was about 7 wearing a green velvet dress, a dark blue sweater, white stockings, and black knee high boots   I can definately see where you are coming from  

<blockquote><b>Quoting M&D's Momma:</b>" how is not buying a pair of shoes "suppressing" your child? A kid can't have EVERYTHING they want. At a young age they haven't even gotten to the stage of self identity. "</blockquote>




so because they havent gotten to the stage of self identity you should push them into what society think they should be??

Quoting M&D's Momma:" how is not buying a pair of shoes "suppressing" your child? A kid can't have EVERYTHING they want. At a young age they haven't even gotten to the stage of self identity. "

this isn't about kids having everything they want. to tell a kid that they can't have something just because it doesn't fall into "what is right for their gender" is suppression. by not letting them wear what they like or are comfortable in is not letting them be themselves. how do they establish who they are if their parents are trying to drill some stereotype into their head. that's not letting them get self identity, that's you telling them who they should be.

<blockquote><b>Quoting M&D's Momma:</b>" how is not buying a pair of shoes "suppressing" your child? A kid can't have EVERYTHING they want. At a young age they haven't even gotten to the stage of self identity. "</blockquote>




I just think they need to explore before finding out who they are and who they want to be.

not mom think it s not ok so I cant be that

Quoting nothing to see:" <blockquote><b>Quoting M&D's Momma:</b>" how is not buying a pair of shoes "suppressing" ... [snip!] ... so because they havent gotten to the stage of self identity you should oush them into what society think they should be??"

To me, clothes aren't "who they are". They are protective wear. Their personality is what I believe is the only thing we should never suppress. I could care less about what society thinks. I care more about what me and SO think. I would not buy my son pink sparkly shoes and I would never buy my daughter boyish shoes. Now, if they are older and can make more rational decisions as to why they want to dress a certain way instead of saying " oh pink, sparkles, I want it" then ok. that's them. But I would like to dress my children the way I want to for as long as I can. Luckily my daughter loves all things girly and my son is only 10 months so he doesn't know what he wants yet.
Also, I'm not against anyone dressing their kid the way they want but I don't think it's fair to assume that whoever wants to dress their child gender specific is trying to mold them to fit into society and is trying to take away their identity.

Quoting Soon 2B Mom of 2:" Ha ha sometimes I wish my mom dressed me that long. I have a picture of me when I was about 7 wearing ... [snip!] ... a dark blue sweater, white stockings, and black knee high boots   I can definately see where you are coming from  "

that is hilarious!!

Quoting M&D's Momma:" To me, clothes aren't "who they are". They are protective wear. Their personality is what I believe ... [snip!] ... to dress their child gender specific is trying to mold them to fit into society and is trying to take away their identity. "

i think once a child is old enough to say, "i like these, i want them" then they have some sense of who they are. i can see dressing them gender specific till that point. but once they can voice what they want clearly, then there is no reason to not let them decide.

Quoting Draco'sStalker:" this isn't about kids having everything they want. to tell a kid that they can't have something just ... [snip!] ... drill some stereotype into their head. that's not letting them get self identity, that's you telling them who they should be."

That's where we just disagree. I don't think it's their decision when they are young to chose what they wear. When they are a little older, then yes they can chose what they want, but for now I make those choices. I've just never in my life heard of giving children so much freedom to chose whatever they wanted to do. Idk, I was raised to respect what decisions my parents made for me and it worked so I'm doing the same with my children. I never felt like I was prevented from being who I wanted to be.

Quoting Draco'sStalker:" i think once a child is old enough to say, "i like these, i want them" then they have some sense of who ... [snip!] ... specific till that point. but once they can voice what they want clearly, then there is no reason to not let them decide."

Well I don't agree with that. They are not old enough to make those decisions. My daughter is 3 and told me she wanted a two piece bikini bathing suit and I told her no because I rather her wear one pieces until she's a little older. She's not old enough to make rational decisions.

Quoting M&D's Momma:" That's where we just disagree. I don't think it's their decision when they are young to chose what they ... [snip!] ... for me and it worked so I'm doing the same with my children. I never felt like I was prevented from being who I wanted to be."

maybe that's why we differ. even up into my teen yrs my mother didn't want me to have certain clothes. she felt they made a bad impression of her (and it wasn't like they were inappropriate). i always felt that my mother couldn't accept me for who i am. i swore i'd never make my daughter feel like she was "wrong" because she wanted to do what society didn't view as normal.

Quoting M&D's Momma:" Well I don't agree with that. They are not old enough to make those decisions. My daughter is 3 and ... [snip!] ... I told her no because I rather her wear one pieces until she's a little older. She's not old enough to make rational decisions."

that's different. that's a bigger issue than color. that is about not showing off your body. and what's inappropriate.

<blockquote><b>Quoting M&D's Momma:</b>" That's where we just disagree. I don't think it's their decision when they are young to chose what they ... [snip!] ... for me and it worked so I'm doing the same with my children. I never felt like I was prevented from being who I wanted to be."</blockquote>




I give my son the freedom of picking the color of the shoes he needs. he still respects my decision if I say no because those are to expensive.

<blockquote><b>Quoting M&D's Momma:</b>" That's where we just disagree. I don't think it's their decision when they are young to chose what they ... [snip!] ... for me and it worked so I'm doing the same with my children. I never felt like I was prevented from being who I wanted to be."</blockquote>


Letting children pick their clothes (which ARE a part of their personality) is not letting them do whatever they want. It's letting your child express themselves through style choices which is healthy. My 4 year old dresses herself for school and enjoys doing so. Children have so many boundaries, they should be able to pick their own clothing if they want. It's not a big deal.