Why do I love bd?

Don't quote.
BD & I have an on again off again relationship for the past five years and he pushed me to the limit when his friend left his phone at my house (I walked in after work and no one was there and bd's friend's phone was plugged into the wall) So being the nosey person I am, I read the thread between him and BD ( I have trust issues very much so from his past drug issues)
Well I read the 910 page thread about sharing needles, using needles till they were just about broken, leaving needles on my porch for each other, etc..
So I broke up with him feb 10th.

A guy that randomly added me to facebook (well actually he used to own a local tanning salon here [his ex wife just owns it now] so he's not a complete stranger I used to tan there...
but he asked me to go to dinner with him for vday,
I said yes sure why not, free red lobster, with no intention of a relationship what so ever...
Well after hanging out with him like everyday since then, I feel like I'm falling in love, (which is weird in itself)
AND then at times I really love BD, even though BD was a drug addict,
but BD was actually a good guy a lot of the time, he treated me like a princess, waiting on me hand and foot.
The guy I'm talking to now is so sweet to me, and makes me smile, and we have the exact same sense of humor, like we are laughing constantly but doesn't really treat me like a princess lol, So I guess that triggers me to miss BD? IDK.
Please don't quote...

What should I do?
Stop talking to the guy I'm talking to?

Hmm. Maybe you just love the idea of him and your nuclear family being together?
And why waste your time on anyone who doesn't treat you like a princess? You deserve to be treated with respect and to be appreciated. NEVER sell yourself short.
Are you exclusive with the current guy?
Is your ex off of drugs?

Quoting K. P. Walsh:" Hmm. Maybe you just love the idea of him and your nuclear family being together?"

I do, and the fact that I had braces on my teeth and was in highschool when I met BD does not help.

I think you're grieving the relationship you wish it would've/could've been and the person you wish he was...

Quoting ♥crazybitch:" I do, and the fact that I had braces on my teeth and was in highschool when I met BD does not help."

I added to my post lol.
Just fyi.

Quoting K. P. Walsh:" Hmm. Maybe you just love the idea of him and your nuclear family being together? And why waste your time ... [snip!] ... respect and to be appreciated. NEVER sell yourself short. Are you exclusive with the current guy? Is your ex off of drugs?"

I mean as a princess, as in like waiting on me hand and foot, taking my orders, basically.
I didn't mean it in a bad way.
New guy is a gentleman for sure, holding doors, callling me beautiful etc.

Quoting K. P. Walsh:" Hmm. Maybe you just love the idea of him and your nuclear family being together? And why waste your time ... [snip!] ... respect and to be appreciated. NEVER sell yourself short. Are you exclusive with the current guy? Is your ex off of drugs?"

We are pretty much exclusive, yes, like he says he's not talking to anyone else and doesn't want me to either. We see each other everyday. We haven't met each others kids yet. (he has a 6 yr old daughter & mine is 4)

And ex is in jail and sending me letters about how's he's gonna change and he can't wait to get out and show me.

Quoting ♥crazybitch:" I mean as a princess, as in like waiting on me hand and foot, taking my orders, basically. I didn't mean it in a bad way. New guy is a gentleman for sure, holding doors, callling me beautiful etc."

Lol well girl when you find a man who takes orders, let me know. Haha just kidding.
Well, I'd keep my options open. I'd go with the flow. It's normal to have feelings of regret. The what ifs, the what could have been, etc, but don't throw away something that's going well and could potentially grow into something real if just because you think you miss your ex.

Quoting ♥crazybitch:" We are pretty much exclusive, yes, like he says he's not talking to anyone else and doesn't want me ... [snip!] ... mine is 4) And ex is in jail and sending me letters about how's he's gonna change and he can't wait to get out and show me."

Well, if he gets out and it's not just jail talking, and he puts forth effort and genuinely changes (it IS possible, SO went to jail and DID change for the better and we're stronger and happier than ever), then hey, see how you feel then.
But right now, if your happy, let yourself be.
Sometimes if you don't know what to do, do nothing.
Wait and see. There's no harm in that, right?

Quoting K. P. Walsh:" Well, if he gets out and it's not just jail talking, and he puts forth effort and genuinely changes (it ... [snip!] ... your happy, let yourself be. Sometimes if you don't know what to do, do nothing. Wait and see. There's no harm in that, right? "

BD has been to jail 14 times.

Prob a total of 18 months in the past 5 years.
Relapsed over and over.

I'm happy but I keep thinking it's too good to be true, something bad is going to happen.
At least with bd it's predictable I guess?

Quoting S U Z I E:" I think you're grieving the relationship you wish it would've/could've been and the person you wish he was..."

This is what I think. And I seriously think that you need some time alone. No guys no dating. Yes. ALONE.
I had a toxic relationship with my ex. And I can say that after 3 years of not being in a relationship. I am way better off.  

Quoting Yurvette [♥]:" This is what I think. And I seriously think that you need some time alone. No guys no dating. Yes. ALONE. ... [snip!] ... I had a toxic relationship with my ex. And I can say that after 3 years of not being in a relationship. I am way better off.  "

The guy I'm talking to is just amazing though. Grrrrr.