Odd Custody Question

Okay so here's the mini back story. My SO married his ex wife about 2 months after she had her son. They lied to the state records office and told them that he had just found out about the kid and married the mom and wanted to be on his BC. So he's legally on the BC, the father of this child, and has taken care of this child as such since they got married. A few years later, she left them. She up and walked out and asked if he wanted G and he said yes. She later filed for divorce and through a series of fights and arguments, they decided it was best if they BOTH signed over their parental rights to a third party and kept G out of their divorce.

G lives with SO's stepmother and she has full guardianship over him, so neither parent pays child support for him. From what I can tell, they both buy him gifts for his birthday and Christmas and randomly throughout the year and over the last year or so, my SO has started him on an allowance that his gran has him use on his clothing and other things that he wants beyond what she normally provides for him.

All SO talks about is G coming to live with us once we have a house and are more stable. His concern is that if he lets his ex wife know that he wants full custody of G, that she's going to flip her lid and insist that SHE get custody of G so that SO has to start paying her CS again.

Since Gran is G's guardian and neither of them actually have legal rights to G, does he even legally have to inform his ex wife of his intentions of taking over guardianship of G again? Or is it possible to just privately have SO and Gran sign documents transferring her rights to him? Legally, of course. I'm not trying to skirt around laws or defraud anyone. I'm just wondering what is required and what isn't necessary.

TIA

I wouldnt think that he has to notify her. She has no legal rights to G.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Blair Waldorf (SuperKink):</b>" Okay so here's the mini back story. My SO married his ex wife about 2 months after she had her son. They ... [snip!] ... I'm not trying to skirt around laws or defraud anyone. I'm just wondering what is required and what isn't necessary. TIA"</blockquote>




Either way the courts will let her know. They have to. Best of luck.

How involved is the ex wife with ds?

<blockquote><b>Quoting M walls:</b>" How involved is the ex wife with ds?"</blockquote>




She sees him once a week if she feels like it that week.   She also has a pain pill addiction that we can't prove.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Blair Waldorf (SuperKink):</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting M walls:</b>" How involved is the ex wife with ds?"</blockquote> ... [snip!] ... She sees him once a week if she feels like it that week.   She also has a pain pill addiction that we can't prove."</blockquote>




Drug test?

<blockquote><b>Quoting Blair Waldorf (SuperKink):</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting M walls:</b>" How involved is the ex wife with ds?"</blockquote> ... [snip!] ... She sees him once a week if she feels like it that week.   She also has a pain pill addiction that we can't prove."</blockquote>




I would contact family law attorney & ask if it were legal for his gma to sign rights over to your dh. Eventually he will probably have to go to court with his ex for a visitation schedule

<blockquote><b>Quoting M walls:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Blair Waldorf (SuperKink):</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting ... [snip!] ... his gma to sign rights over to your dh. Eventually he will probably have to go to court with his ex for a visitation schedule"</blockquote>




So the fact that she signed her rights over willingly has no bearing on whether she gets visitation in the future?

<blockquote><b>Quoting Blair Waldorf (SuperKink):</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting M walls:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Blair Waldorf ... [snip!] ... So the fact that she signed her rights over willingly has no bearing on whether she gets visitation in the future?"</blockquote>




I'm not sure. I was thinking that since your dh also signed his rights over to his stepmom that she might not be able to just give ds back. I'm assuming he will have to make some kind of court appearance. I would definently contact a family law for a free counciltation (sp) because this scenario sounds a bit complicated

Quoting M walls:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Blair Waldorf (SuperKink):</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting ... [snip!] ... I would definently contact a family law for a free counciltation (sp) because this scenario sounds a bit complicated"

It is kind of complicated. I guess when we're ready, we'll just have to get a consult from a lawyer. I was also trying to keep the cost down of course.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Blair Waldorf (SuperKink):</b>" It is kind of complicated. I guess when we're ready, we'll just have to get a consult from a lawyer. I was also trying to keep the cost down of course."</blockquote>



I'm sure you could just get a free consult from a lawyer to find out what your legally allowed to do then do the rest on your own

Quoting M walls:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Blair Waldorf (SuperKink):</b>" It is kind of complicated. ... [snip!] ... sure you could just get a free consult from a lawyer to find out what your legally allowed to do then do the rest on your own"

That would be nice! We'll try that, thanks.

Hmmm, as far as I know; once you sign parental rights over its not just a matter of signing the child back over once you're ready. They WILL contact her and notify her of the request for a change in guardianship ... You'll need a lawyer to help you sort it all most likely, good luck !