Should i..?

Have my BD sign his rights over, him and i recently broke up due to some problems (He basically told me to smurf off and never to talk to him again, that he doesn't care about what's going on with his daughter. Shes not even here yet) I suppose he got mad that i ended it because he did not talk to me for a month, and there was basically no love or happiness left in our relationship. (He had also said that i'd smurf up any of his future relationships, when in actuality i really don't care who he is with) I'm just worrying about my daughter and doing what's best for her.
It's horrible that he doesn't care about his daughter.. How can someone be that heartless and not care about their own flesh and blood? I know in the end i did what was best for my daughter.

Just dont put his name down on the BC. He wont have any rights unless he wants them cuz he would have to take you to court over it. Cuz if you put his name down you will have a hard time then getting his rights taken away.

Quoting Shanon Hutchens:" Just dont put his name down on the BC. He wont have any rights unless he wants them cuz he would have ... [snip!] ... have to take you to court over it. Cuz if you put his name down you will have a hard time then getting his rights taken away."

This.

plus it is ALOT easier to add his name later on then trying to get it taken off. I wanted my sons bio dads name off his BC and couldnt get it done til my husband adopted him.

Quoting Shanon Hutchens:" Just dont put his name down on the BC. He wont have any rights unless he wants them cuz he would have ... [snip!] ... have to take you to court over it. Cuz if you put his name down you will have a hard time then getting his rights taken away."

 

Quoting Shanon Hutchens:" Just dont put his name down on the BC. He wont have any rights unless he wants them cuz he would have ... [snip!] ... have to take you to court over it. Cuz if you put his name down you will have a hard time then getting his rights taken away."

Yeah, that's what i figured. I was gonna put on the BC the father as unknown..

Quoting Shanon Hutchens:" Just dont put his name down on the BC. He wont have any rights unless he wants them cuz he would have ... [snip!] ... have to take you to court over it. Cuz if you put his name down you will have a hard time then getting his rights taken away."

This.
And also it depends on your state too. Here in IL the father cannot sign over his rights unless there is an adoption taking place(the mother's spouse is adopting the child and the father is signing over rights to the spouse) or if the court finds him physically or mentally abusive towards the child then they can strip him of his rights.

Quoting Bianca (28wks):" Yeah, that's what i figured. I was gonna put on the BC the father as unknown.."

Honestly best choice. This coming from someone who should have done that in the first place and now owes a laywer like 2 grand still.

And like say he does come around after shes born and he shows he going to stay and actually be a part of her life and after some time you want him to have rights... its not hard at all to go and get his name put on. they just do a DNA test and charge you like 110 bucks for test and filing fees.

Quoting Shanon Hutchens:" Honestly best choice. This coming from someone who should have done that in the first place and now ... [snip!] ... at all to go and get his name put on. they just do a DNA test and charge you like 110 bucks for test and filing fees. "

I'm thinking he's not going to come around after she's born, he's one of those people that only think about themselves first and doesn't really care unless it's beneficial for him. He's what i call a selfish prick. lol

<blockquote><b>Quoting Bianca (28wks):</b>" Have my BD sign his rights over, him and i recently broke up due to some problems (He basically told ... [snip!] ... someone be that heartless and not care about their own flesh and blood? I know in the end i did what was best for my daughter."</blockquote>




I think you both need to give it some time and revisit the situation. Sounds like there is a grave lack of maturity all the way around.

Might I suggest some parenting classes and some counseling to learn to co parent properly? The one who will get hurt in all this mess between you both is her. Is that your ultimate goal?

Quoting Not tellin:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Bianca (28wks):</b>" Have my BD sign his rights over, him and ... [snip!] ... learn to co parent properly? The one who will get hurt in all this mess between you both is her. Is that your ultimate goal?"

The only one of lack maturity is my daughters father, i've tried working it out for my daughter but in the end he was the one that made the decisions he made.
I'm well beyond capable parenting just fine without him.. How ever when she is older i will not keep her from her knowing her father. I'm doing what i am for my daughter so she doesn't get hurt. He wasn't around since i found out i was pregnant 7 months ago. He was never emotionally supportive, i think i'm doing the right thing for my daughter. She doesn't need someone whose not going care/love her. I think i'll do just fine parenting.

Most men aren't very attached to their children during pregnancy, they don't have that same connection we have, because they don't have them growing inside of them.
Anyways, the best thing to do is to just not put him on the BC. I would try to remain civil and have a relationship with him, on a friendly basis, for your daughter, but you can't make someone stick around and do something they don't want to do.

Quoting White Chocolate Milk:" Most men aren't very attached to their children during pregnancy, they don't have that same connection ... [snip!] ... him, on a friendly basis, for your daughter, but you can't make someone stick around and do something they don't want to do. "

I did try keeping it civil and he decided to be rude unfortunately, But i am not forcing him into being a father nor anything he doesn't want to do, he may and may not come around.

Quoting Bianca (28wks):" I did try keeping it civil and he decided to be rude unfortunately, But i am not forcing him into being a father nor anything he doesn't want to do, he may and may not come around."

I wasn't saying you were, but if he does try to come around again, try and be civil. I wouldn't burn that bridge until he's at least had a chance to be a dad or not depending on what he chooses.

Quoting Not tellin:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Bianca (28wks):</b>" Have my BD sign his rights over, him and ... [snip!] ... learn to co parent properly? The one who will get hurt in all this mess between you both is her. Is that your ultimate goal?"

This is what I fully agree with.