re: Should i..?

<blockquote><b>Quoting Bianca (28wks):</b>" The only one of lack maturity is my daughters father, i've tried working it out for my daughter but ... [snip!] ... the right thing for my daughter. She doesn't need someone whose not going care/love her. I think i'll do just fine parenting."</blockquote>




The simple fact that you felt the need to reply in this manner clearly defends my original statement. IF there was no lack of maturity on your part, your over kill of defense, finger pointing his direction and lack of the over all big picture wouldn't be present. Also, key issue is that you are burned because he has t been around since you got pregnant and hasn't been "emotionally supportive". You are pissed at him and your feelings about him are reflecting on the type of relationship you are going to allow him and HIS daughter to have. She is after all his as well. You don't get the right to keep her from him and then when she gets older after you have jaded her against him say "ok, you can have a relationship with your dad now".

It took BOTH of you to make that baby. You made that choice to lay in that bed with him. You can either choose to set the tone of the future relationship between you and him by being the adult in the situation, or you can play the petty games with him. At the end of the day, the one to feel the repercussions of this mess will be the child. He is not at the "reality" stage with the pregnancy yet. Men usually aren't until they see the baby. You grasp it because you feel the effects daily.

Again, all around immaturity.

Quoting Not tellin:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Bianca (28wks):</b>" The only one of lack maturity is my daughters ... [snip!] ... Men usually aren't until they see the baby. You grasp it because you feel the effects daily. Again, all around immaturity."

You act like you know the whole situation.. Which you don't know half the smurf he said, and i doubt he would want to see his daughter by him running to live in Washington because you know that truly shows how much he cares about his daughter.. it's not about the relationship between him and i.. What pisses me off for him to be so careless about the fact that he is having a kid, he burned all the bridges not i.. i tried working it out but he was is to selfish to even care, yes it took both of us to make a baby and for him to say don't ever contact him again that's show how much he actually cares.. So i'm protecting my daughter for her getting hurt by her father. He has not proved to me that he wants to be in his daughters life one bit. and Yeah i know the reality of a guy being father doesn't set in until they see/hold their kid.. which he'll never do because he ran.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Bianca (28wks):</b>" You act like you know the whole situation.. Which you don't know half the smurf he said, and i doubt ... [snip!] ... i know the reality of a guy being father doesn't set in until they see/hold their kid.. which he'll never do because he ran."</blockquote>




I don't need to know anything about the "full" situation. All I need to see is an over justification from you and a lack of any form of responsibility on your part.

What is it going to take for you to understand that you have got to be the bigger person and stop the BS games? If he plays them, let him play them alone. Don't pretend that you are saving your daughter from anything, in reality you are just playing games right with him. Step outside this situation for a bit and look at it from and outsiders perspective and from another mothers perspective. Where you might think you are "protecting" your daughter, you are using her as a pawn. Just because he moved doesn't mean that he will not love his daughter. My sister lived 6 hours from her sons for 10 years. Does that mean she didn't care about them and didn't love them? Hardly. Cut the crap. These games you both are guilty of is only driving that wedge deeper making life that much more difficult on your daughter.

Quoting Not tellin:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Bianca (28wks):</b>" You act like you know the whole situation.. ... [snip!] ... These games you both are guilty of is only driving that wedge deeper making life that much more difficult on your daughter."

I'm not playing his games, he said what he wanted and i gave him that. Nor i am not forcing him into being a father. If he winds up coming around then awesome, fantastic.. but i doubt that's going to be anytime soon.