Can someone help revise my english paragraph PLEASE!!!

I made some simple mistakes on my last paragraph assignment and somehow I came out with a smurfing 72 because I didn't think I was capable of having someone revising my English paper; but my instructor informed me otherwise since then. Is there anyone who would be will to revise my paragraph for me? Please I just reallllyyyy want a MUCH better grade this time around!!!!!! Oh and the topic is about the day I found out I was pregnant.

I'm no teacher but I can look at it!  

Quoting *KatteyBug*:" I'm no teacher but I can look at it!  "

I think it was mostly grammatical errors but thank you  !!! I will pm you it! Thanks!!

if you need any help i can take a look at it!