Mine and SO's lease is up in August and we've been toying with the idea of buying a house. We could afford a house upwards of about $140k. BUT, there's a second option. SO's mom needs to move out of the trailer she's living in. She doesn't want to move into an apartment because, to her, it's just throwing money away to rent. We went out to lunch today and she talked about possibly moving in a house with us, and splitting bills. With that, we could afford a house that is about $200k.

I was against it from the beginning. I mean, who wants to move in with their parents/MIL? Not to mention, I don't want her intruding on how I choose to parent future LO(s). But I'm trying to take SO's points into consideration. She'd be able to watch LO at night since he and I both work night shift. Her health won't be in jeopardy anymore. And we'd get a bigger house with a bigger yard... just everything bigger and more spacious for when we expand our family.

NOW, the houses to put things into perspective.

A) $140k.. the house SO and I could afford on our own. 3 bed, 2 bath bi-level.














B) House that his mom would be living with us in. $199k 4 bed, 4 bath 2 story.
















Obviously these aren't the exact houses we'll be looking at. But just to show. Both are nice... the second is bigger. Would the bigger house be WORTH having your MIL living with you? I love her to pieces, so it's not like it'd be torture to see her face daily. We get along wonderfully. I'm just so stuck on raising my kids with someone watching over me. Not being able to walk around pant-less   Having to be considerate of someone else (not staying up late and making noise, stuff like that). She tried saying she'll be in a nursing home in no time and it's no big deal. omg. My kid will be starting college by the time she's in her late 60s  

Advice would be awesome!

<blockquote><b>Quoting kthx.:</b>" Mine and SO's lease is up in August and we've been toying with the idea of buying a house. We could afford ... [snip!] ... and it's no big deal. omg. My kid will be starting college by the time she's in her late 60s   Advice would be awesome! "</blockquote>




Smurf that. I would need space.


And my parents do live with me part time. I couldn't imagine my MIL full time. Especially when it comes to parenting. Your kids need veggies hahahah

if it was between me and my mil id live in a box under a bridge in hell with country music playing.

the first house is really nice but if you can get along just write everything out in contract to protect everyone involved. if she babysits then take that in consideration when she pays her share

Quoting Brink:" <blockquote><b>Quoting kthx.:</b>" Mine and SO's lease is up in August and we've been ... [snip!] ... with me part time. I couldn't imagine my MIL full time. Especially when it comes to parenting. Your kids need veggies hahahah"

She surprisingly eats more veggies than I do   She just didn't pressure SO into eating them, so he has an aversion. Lol.


I'm just so torn. I would love a big house... that's my dream. To have a beautiful, big house that I can show off proudly. The first house I posted is beautiful as well. but honestly... I don't see many houses that look like that for $140k.

I dontvknow what the houseing options are in the us but would you have the option of getting a place with a granny flat???
I love my Mil to bits but dont know if I could handle 24/7

No way. I lived with my in-laws and it was H-E-L-L.

To me, living with my MIL wouldn't be worth it, and I wouldn't want to rely on her to make the more expensive mortgage payment every month. You never know what could happen, she could end up moving out, you guys could have a disagreement - and then you're stuck paying for a more expensive home on your own. IMO, buy the less expensive house and be totally independent. You'll be happier and if in the future you can afford the more expensive house, you can always sell and upgrade. Good luck!

Quoting I love Kenzi:" if it was between me and my mil id live in a box under a bridge in hell with country music playing. ... [snip!] ... out in contract to protect everyone involved. if she babysits then take that in consideration when she pays her share"

She wouldn't accept compensation for babysitting. Family doesn't pay family to babysit. I just don't want her to say something about me BFing in front of her, not covered up. Or get frustrated with us when LO is crying/having a scream fest.


It makes me nervous. This will all be in SO's name. I don't think she'd flake on us... but if she did decide to move out 6 months after we move in, we're stuck with a $900 mortgage payment that we cannot afford by ourselves. That's what's getting me.

<blockquote><b>Quoting ♫ boobook ♫:</b>" No way. I lived with my in-laws and it was H-E-L-L."</blockquote>




!!!!!

maybe find a nice duplex? that way you still have space? then when you own it outright you can convert it into a single home or sell

I'd kill my mother stone cold dead if I had to live with her horrible rotten self.

Quoting I love Kenzi:" maybe find a nice duplex? that way you still have space? then when you own it outright you can convert it into a single home or sell"

SO wants a yard and what not. Doesn't want to share   So it'd have to be a house. I did suggest a duplex/condo and he said no, lol.

I think I'm gonna keep pushing the less expensive house. $140k would put our mortgage payment at about $610, and we're paying $690 for rent. So it's actually a bit better   And I'd feel better... KNOWING that we could afford this, instead of stressing about his mom up and leaving.

Quoting kthx.:" She wouldn't accept compensation for babysitting. Family doesn't pay family to babysit. I just don't ... [snip!] ... months after we move in, we're stuck with a $900 mortgage payment that we cannot afford by ourselves. That's what's getting me."

i would try to find a place with the cheaper morgage that maybe had a finished basement or an extra room for her to stay in to help some days and maybe move in when she needs special care but i wouldnt get myself stuck with an expensive morgage bc smurf happens

I would not live with my mil or my own mother for that matter. You need your own space. 3 bedrooms is still a lot of space!

<blockquote><b>Quoting kthx.:</b>" She surprisingly eats more veggies than I do   She just didn't pressure SO into eating them, so ... [snip!] ... proudly. The first house I posted is beautiful as well. but honestly... I don't see many houses that look like that for $140k. "</blockquote>




I lived with my parents and Hans was there too right after we had T. Bfing was a pain since my dad would be like really your boob is out again and my mom and Hans clashed on how *we* chose to parent him.

The first house is beautiful and honestly it would make me nervous having to rely on anyone but Mike to be able to cover the mortgage if I were you. It just be yours and that's a great feeling.

And really this would be a forever thing? Hell no